Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Well, lookee here...*cackle*

"Smokin' Aces" Co-Star to Speak on Class Day? Not if We Can Help It

One of our more distinguished alumni (excerpted):

"I'm a liar and a cheat and a thief and the ultimate manipulator. ... I tell lies every day, man," the 40-year-old actor says in the February issue of Men's Journal magazine. "And when I say I'm phenomenally manipulative, I am."

Fox, who is now starring opposite Matthew McConaughey in We Are Marshall, a Warner Bros. Pictures release, says he "can be unapologetically vicious" and is "absolutely an instigator."

"I really enjoy social boozing, and what I enjoy about it is when people I know and care about say and do things they normally wouldn't say or do," he tells the magazine. "To make that happen I'll instigate anything."

"As for the skinny-dipping, when I was a kid there wasn't a huge delineation in our family between having clothes on or not having clothes on," he says.

"And the reason I have so much fun doing it now is people are so shocked by it, and, like, 'Oh, my God, Fox just took his clothes off!' But, I mean, just how long ago was it that we were all wandering around in loincloths?"

...was everyone else remotely affiliated with Columbia busy on May 15th? Why is this man speaking at Class Day? Something must be done...

The following is the opinion of Bwog's Monday editor, Dan D'Addario.

We're not anti-entertainer snobs; there are plenty of talented alumni who could have been excellent speakers (as the Class Day speaker must have graduated from Columbia, excepting John McCain, somehow). Anna Paquin is an accomplished stage actress and Oscar-winner, Maggie Gyllenhaal is one of the most talented actresses of her generation, Brian Dennehy is the biggest bad-ass ever. No, seriously. Jim Jarmusch is a brilliant filmmaker, and Brian DePalma one of the most intriguing hit-or-miss filmmakers in the world. Dan Futterman an Oscar-nominated screenwriter. Any of these people might have had something interesting to say.

And these are only alternative speakers from the entertainment world. Warren Buffett? George Stephanopoulous? Brent Scowcroft? Kiran Desai? Scooter Libby - okay, perhaps not.

We're not going to pretend we wouldn't have bitched no matter who the Class Day speaker was, but seriously. Matthew Fox? Look at his IMDb profile and tell us whether you see any roles that you've heard of besides Party of Five - better remembered for introducing America to Jennifer Love Hewitt's and Neve Campbell's cleavage - and Lost, a cult show so engrossed with its cult nature that it's shedding viewers faster than Columbia sheds credibility. It seemed decent up until the polar bears in the forest, and Fox hardly lights the screen aflame with his acting talent. His SNL wasn't even good!

The man was in We Are Marshall, you say? Okay, perhaps, but a) it flopped in a way that suggests it'll be as well-remembered ultimately as Fox's Behind the Mask, and b) it was the McConaughey show anyway. Our Class Day speaker got upstaged by the smelliest-looking man in show business.

We're not trying to be mean. We're sure Fox is a great guy. Actually, as we think back to that interview, maybe he isn't. But we want a Class Day speaker that has accomplished more than being hot and lucking into a role on a show with a bunch of hot girls and then another that was a hit for a season and a half. Fox is hardly one of Columbia's most illustrious graduates, and, with due respect, should not be treated as such. In light of his comparative lack of credibility, Fox's invitation to speak should be rescinded.

Bwog invites all Columbia students to protest just as we protested McCain last year. Fox may not have authorized an illegal war, but then, what exactly HAS he done? To quote last year's anti-McCain buttons, "Fox does not speak for me."

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