Monday, April 16, 2007

Skating Over Jate

Ah, spring. A time for starting over. A time for renewed hope. A time for giving thanks. Okay, so that last part is actually associated with fall, but here in Fishbiscuitland, we give our thanks in the spring. Deal with it.

What, you may ask, do we have to be thankful for? Well, let's review. Travel back with me to one year ago - mid-April of 2006. It was a confusing time. Where we thought Sawyer and Kate had been leading up to a definite romance due to the anvils dropped early in Season 2, we suddenly found ourselves staring at a post-long-con battlefield strewn with the corpses of tree frogs and awkwardly misplaced nets. Our predictions were in shambles. Heading into the finale, all we hoped for - all we dared dream of - was some kind of positive Skate interaction. Something that would indicate that Jate wasn't fate. And also, no more nets. Ever again. In short, our wants were simple, and our expectations were low.

Because of that, we were content enough with our Bonnie and Clyde scene. It worked. It was hot, and kick-ass, and the screen capture became the preferred media representation of Lost through the entire summer. Plus, it was a hell of a lot better than that creepy S&M stare the Jaters got. We went into the hiatus breathing easier, but still without setting our hopes too high.
But lo and behold, as Season 3 got underway, it soon became apparent that not just our fantasies, but in some instances, our wildest fantasies were going to come true. What did we do to deserve such blessings? Sawyer in love? An epic kiss? A beautiful sex scene? Post-coital cuddling? Kate offering her life for Sawyer's? Even an epic hug? (Who knew a hug could even be epic?)

As far as shipping goes, we won the lottery, my friends. No question about it. And now, with rumblings of jealousy sex afoot and the Skater community foaming at the mouth in pre-emptive outrage, I've decided that there's no better time to take a quick look back at the glut, or should we call it an avalanche, of goodies we've been showered with thus far.
Let's start with the biggies. Remember this?

And hey, what about this?

And of course, who could forget this - the love scene we feared we might never see, let alone in the first six episodes?

Followed, no less, by this.

And oh yeah, this too.

This part still gives me chills.

Here's another one that speaks for itself.

And last but not least in the biggie category, how's this for a damn hug? Does any other couple on Lost have a hug scene that lasts five frakkin' minutes, with its own instrumental theme? Didn't think so.

And lest we overlook the smaller moments in all the jaw-droppingly gorgeous ones, let's take a gander at a few of those as well.

Our first Skate of the season - and quite possibly the cutest sharing of not-meant-for-humans food ever to be broadcast.

Strawberries and fishbiscuits? The sexiest flavors in the world.

Kate and Sawyer can't even stop making eyes at each other inside Locke's head. Dream flirting, folks! Can it get any more canon than that? I maintain that it can not.

Even our comic relief is sexy!!

This one's just pretty.

Say it with me. Awwww.

We should never discount the beauty of the angst.

Or the goofiness, either.

Plus, we've got longing glances out the wazoo...

And the most perfect symbolism imaginable, whether together.....

Or apart.

Without sounding too cocky about it, let's also keep in mind that we're guaranteed at least one, and possibly more, sex scenes this season. (Somewhere, a bubble just popped.)

*thanks Spunky for the delicious animation!*

And though we can't exactly cap it, let's not forget the important fact that OUR ship has all those cool flashback connections. Sure, we already knew that Sawyer ordered a beer from Kate's mom in a diner, and that Sawyer and Kate both had some bizarre fascination with Tallahassee (land of wafflehouses and STDs). But this season we also found out they share another Florida connection, and that Kate's husband Kevin-the-cop was probably working on the case of Sawyer's "Tampa job" that went all screwy. Even more meaningful, his ex-girlfriend/mark Cassidy was Kate's BFF for a bit, and Kate even asked her where to find Sawyer, presumably to set him on fire or at least to kick his ass. Another cool detail - her incognito cap said "Cowboy Up" - - one of our boy's pet phrases.

Hmmm. Near misses? Mutual friends? Oblique references? If I didn't know any better, I'd think the writers were hinting that something like fate must have finally put these two crazy kids into one another's direct orbit. It's a pity that word has already been copyrighted and trademarked by the Bubbles for their own personal use through the year 2009 + infinity. Then again, they need it more than we do, since, as far as I'm aware, Jack and Kate have precisely zero flashback connections. But hell, there's still time! Maybe they'll catch up by the zombie season. I bet Zombie Jack's tattoo spells out "J.I.F." in Thai.

So, while I'm on my soapbox, let me be frank. That up there... those caps? THAT is the canon ship on Lost. Because TV, for all its self-importance, is a visual medium. What you see is what you get. And what we see is Skate. You know, ninety-nine percent of the general audience doesn't give a damn about media soundbytes or interviews, or ridiculously inflated promos, or press releases. They don't read online theories or fantasized ramblings about twu wuv and Fate. They don't care about fanfic, or even all that much about character analysis. They care about, and they remember, what they see. Think back to all the TV shows you've loved in the past. Do you recall what the directors said in interviews, or what the promos tried to sell? Or do you remember what happened in the episodes - the story you saw unfold on your screen? Take your time.

What you see up there in those caps is not a friendship, or a sibling relationship. It's not something we imagine or invent or convince ourselves of in group sessions, or something we extrapolate based on fanfic. It's not a series of out-of-character mistakes, or self-loathing punishments. And it sure as hell ain't an obstacle in the path of another, more important, love story. That there is THE love story - the canon love story of Lost. You remember Lost, right? That show about unnaturally sexy plane crash survivors that airs Wednesdays on ABC? It's not to be confused with the Lost that airs in high definition in the heads of the Jaters, every day at Crazy O'Clock on Channel Batshit.

In contrast to our windfall, what exactly does Jate have going in its favor this season? (We won't use caps, because let's face it, there'd only be, like, three.) They have Kate begging Jack to save Sawyer's life, and getting yelled at for it. They have Kate refusing to leave Jack behind, and getting yelled at for it. They have Kate trying to rescue Jack, and getting yelled at for it. (But with handjex... with handjex!!) They have Jack abandoning Kate to psychotic torturers, because they pinky-swore they'd let her go. And they have an unintentionally hilarious scene in which Jack wakes up, knocks Kate into a wall, and then ignores her while she cries - which is seemingly an improvement over the yelling. Oh, and let's not forget that lame-ass, awkward firewood snapping scene. Score!

So basically, what the Jaters have to represent their fated, epic love this season is nothing but a heaping, steaming pile of jack squat. Just imagine, if you can, the deafening uproar of joy if they'd been granted even a few of our most minor, throwaway scenes. If, for example, Kate asked Jack for a clean slate, pulled a dart from his shoe, or lit her torch from his. Would we be granted the amusement of reading rambles about slatejex, dartjex, and torchjex? I think we would. And I'm almost sorry we've been denied that. But alas, all those scenes were OURS.

To conclude, Skaters, times are good. So no matter what happens in these next few weeks, keep in mind that we're already midway through the course of this TV series, and well into the love story. Heaven be praised, that love story is not Jate.

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