Tuesday, February 27, 2007

When Ovaries Explode

You know, I thought today, the day before TTID was gonna be a slow day. I was soooo wrong. Here I was planning to have a blissfully unplanned day of doing nothing. Then the Gregg stuff happens, and Krusty's drivel on the Didn't Like it thread...and I'm taking a leisurely stroll around the net, and what do I find? The Bubbles miss me! They’re all lathered up because it seems I’ve been neglecting them, what with Foxeeeee and the show itself demanding my attention. Never fear, my little Bucket-o-suds. I am nothing, if not devoted to my work. It is your moment to shine Bubbles, beneath the cold, harsh light of reality.

Let’s see what last week's Jackapalooza looked like when viewed from the deck of a sinking ship.

“jack without kate is like a garden without guava”
How many bubbles, do you suppose, could pick a guava out of a fruit salad? See below for a Fruit Quiz to keep us all on our toes. And gee, I don't know a Rose garden without guava? Tough choice there.

“I dreamt that I was in Phuket with Jack and he was gonna get in bed with me... nekkid... and my sister and bro-in-law were suddenly in the bed between us and I was like "AAAAHHHH!!!!" because dude, HE WAS NAKED and I SAW IT and I WANTED HIM and those two f**kers showed up.”
Clearly this is intended to be a dietary aid. You print it out and tape it to your fridge, to be read before every opening. The visual will ruin your appetite and voila you’ll be rail thin before you can say 'Skanky sex is slimming' ten times backwards!

I separated this last part of the quote away from the Bubble low carb diet plan, because it deserves individual attention.

“Damn the universal force that won't even let me get laid in dreams!!!”
This one sentence, perfectly illustrates the average Jater. Sexually repressed and delusional to the point of believing they and their shipping preference are of any consequence to universal forces in any way, shape or form. Overblown egos hmmm?

“I want your babies... I want your babies... I want your babies... Oh, and I never thought I'd want to do this but I had the strong urge to lick his nipple. *blush*”
>>>insert pic of Mr Chimp Chest reclining on the bed ready to receive said nipple assault. How does one find one with all that frakking fur?<<< Excuse me while I pick the chunks of vomit from between my teeth.

“I totally want him and Alex to become friends. Maybe Alex will be in the jungle, crying and worried sick over Carl and Jack will find her. Maybe talk to her? Tell her it's okay? No wait, this is starting to sound like the Jack/Kate scene. Oh well, I'm sure there are a few Alex/Jack shippers out there already.”
If people are shipping Jack and Alex (Jax?), someone should notify Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC so he can investigate it for his next pedophile/stat rape expose`. Ewwwwww. Just Ewwww.

“I haven't even seen this eppy yet, and all the negativity about it has kind of been getting me down, but seriously I'm just gonna watch it and think about the hotness. Pfft! Who needs plot?”
Hmmm, let’s see. The percentage of the viewing public who actually have a brain? I guess that rules out Krusty's Zombie General Audience. How many times have Skaters and Sawyer fans been accused of being hormonal teens who only watch for the HAWTness. Yeah, we get told we're shallow and crass, and lacking in taste or judgment. Hypocritical much?

“Oh my GOD. My ovaries are sprained. BOTH OF THEM.”
Will that keep you from breeding more of your kind? If so, I’m thinking that’s maybe a good thing.*wink*

“I can't actually form coherent thought at the moment. My mind's like agfjksgnkfgjn;sa\.…”
And this is news to you?

“OH GOOD LORD THAT WOMAN DOES NOT DESERVE HIS TONGUE IN HER MOUTH! Ahem, sorry for the capslock but seriously! I'd much rather see his tongue in Evi/Kate's mouth lmao. Or well ya know, mine in a perfect world...OMG and the lip biting! *dies*”
“That woman does not deserve his tongue in her mouth.” I agree. No one does.

“Damn you Bai Ling, Damn you INDEED! Honestly, I truly think, the director and whoever wrote, "What Kate Did" told them to keep the kiss simple. I mean, it might have looked... "off" if Kate just grabbed his face, sucked on his lips and he attacked her with his tongue. I know, I know, who would complain but I don't think it would have really made sense.“
Can it be someone is seeing reason? Kate and Jack is “off” and it makes no sense.

“Why would you show me Bai Ling and Foxy making out? Pretty sure that my eyes actually started to bleed after that scene. *stabs her*

But to fix that, I thought about Kate coming back to the island and sexing up Jack in his new cage and then that turned into some crazy dream that I had that I clearly had to wake up for in the middle of the night and then write a story about it which is now growing into this multi-chaptered monster and I'm scared because I haven't written anything chaptered in years.

*grabs Foxy to make myself feel better*”

Be afraid Foxeeee. Be very afraid.

“That epi so BEAT UP and DESTROYED Sawyer! w00t! And who says Jate isn't fate?! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Just about everybody else, sweetie. Medic stat, before she crashes!

“I swear, I WANT HIM NOW! Is it possible to just orgasm instantly?!? By George, I think I just did!!!!!!!! *faints*”
Wow. So a Foxeeee “O” leaves you wondering whether or not it happened. I knew there was something deficient looking about him. *chortle*

FRUIT QUIZ for my BUBBLEHEAD PALS: Spot the Guava. Name that exotic fruit, chickadees.

That last one's pretty hard I know...

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