Friday, February 16, 2007

Promo Musings

After seeing the promos for Stranger in a Strange land, which oddly has not pushed the oh so laughable skang-kee sex romp and has featured an angsty moment with Skate instead (What up ABC promo dudes? I thought that gratuitous sex sells? And that the general audience prefers Chimp Chest hotting up the screen? Hmmm), I went to check the forums and had a good chuckle.

I present to you the ideal resolution to the Skate argument from the Jater point of view:

Kate: I only sexed you up because I thought you would die. Now I find you disgusting and want to spit on you. Of course I'm guilty I did it. I left my one true love over there with that blond lady, who anyone can tell is totally evil. I never want you to touch me again. If I catch you looking at my ass I will shoot your kneecaps out. Now pick up Karl and follow me back to the beach so I can raise a posse to rescue the greatest man who ever lived.

Sawyer, looking shamefaced: I've known it all along. And out of my love for you, I will freely and gladly let you to go your true love and I will do everything to help you two get together after which I will die and Jack can pour carbolic acid on my body so that not even my bones can remain to remind you of your shameful act.

Kate (morphing suddenly into her true form - a gigantic black widow spider): That won't be necessary, James. Now that I've had sex with you, your function in this plot is over. So I'll just turn my stomach inside out and digest you whole. At least you can have some worth as nutrition, you worthless piece of *****.

It just frakking cracks me up that that the Bubbleheads insist that the Skate sexual tension must be gone now because they had sex. They make sex sound like a vaccination. One shot and you're done. *snicker*.

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