Tuesday, May 1, 2007

V is for Vocabulary

For the purpose of today’s lesson we will be consulting that most mysterious of sources, a dictionary. Yes, I mean that hardbound leviathan collecting dust on your grandmother's bookshelf. Drag it down and look up the word: entitlement. Chances are, you will find something similar to this -

en·ti·tle·ment - noun
1 : the state or condition of being entitled
2 : a right to benefits that is granted esp. by law or contract (as an insurance policy)
NOTE: Some courts have held that entitlements are a property interest and therefore subject to procedural due process under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments to the U.S. Constitution when denied by federal or state governments.
3 : a government program that provides benefits to members of a group that has a statutory entitlement; also : the benefits distributed by such a program

We will be examining some Jaterific quotes which exemplify the Jate feeling of entitlement as defined in definition one above.

I am going to venture into the always dangerous arena of assumption and assume that even Bubbles are not misguided enough to believe Lost is either a government program or a contract subject to due process under the U.S. Constitution.

Ready? Here we go!

The everything and the kitchen sink argument for entitlement…

Jex has to happen it is only fair TPTB can't let one ship have it always, in Dawson's Creek at least both guys got to have their turn with Joey. Foxy needs some action, it has been three months the man must be going insane.

So much batshit in so little space. You could write a thesis on this alone! Umm, let’s see, “fair”? Are you out of your frakkin mind? Isn’t “fair” the official argument of eight year olds? It has no place in sex talk. Jaters whine that Kate is a whore, but they want multiple guys to “have their turn” with her? If your gold standard is Dawson’s Creek, how the hell is it that you are watching Lost? You’re bound to have no clue what’s even going on. And as for that last bit, Foxeeee is a real person. He has a wife. As revolting as the prospect sounds to me, I’m sure she puts out for him often enough that it hasn’t been three months.

The Biblical argument for entitlement…

I would say my faith plays a big role in why I'm a big Jater. The Jack/Kate relationship and interaction is like the classic Biblical definition of a proper marriage. In Ephesians 5:22-33 (Bible/New Testament) Paul sets up accountability in marriage, basically saying that the wife should allow the husband to lead and protect and provide, and the husband should love his wife as his own body and put her needs ahead of his own. He should be prepared to sacrifice everything for her.

This is totally Jate!

Skaters beware, the Bible backs up Jate!!!

Well, not exactly. Jack divorced his wife, Kate abandoned her husband and the Bible is pretty clear on those subjects. "to the married I give this ruling, which is not mine but the Lord's: a wife must not separate herself from her husband (if she does, she must either remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband), and the husband must not divorce his wife" (1Cor.7:10-11).

The begging and pleading argument for entitlement…

Because we have beein through so much pain, and we deserve it. And please, PLEASE, anough already with the SKATE SHOW. Just like someone said, "revenge-sex", "hate-sex"... what else is coming now?
I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that hey (yeah, hey, TPTB) dont screw things up once for all. Would be a shame, lost the tiny part of me that still likes Jack and Kate storyline on this show.

Careful what you ask for little Bubble. If we all got what we deserved, I doubt many of us would survive it. Oh, and a tip, when reduced to begging it’s usually not good to admit you’re begging for something you define as “the tiny part of me”.

The we’ll take our butts off the couch argument for entitlement…

yeah, that's exactly what I fear... instead of - again - ending this mess right there and then, no, they must drag it out again. this is beyond ridiculous now.
and this really makes me sad, because Jaters are already leaving - again -, and if they end this season without a real closure of Skate (and really I don't know how they could turn it around during the rest of the season) then there won't be many Jaters who will return next year :( (and I can't blame them, really)

Has someone done a triangle census and determined that Jaters far outnumber Skaters? They seem to believe that driving Skaters away would be an excellent plan, yet driving Jaters away will somehow be ruinous for the show. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but TV shows are not produced in a vacuum. They have oversight and input from ABC, from marketing people, from discussion panels, from test audiences, from ratings, from hundreds of media outlets. If Lost was going to die without Jate, ABC would know it well ahead of time, and trust me they would do something about it.

The desperately dill-usional argument for entitlement…

I'm not shipping Jate "to win" - I feel like I've already won because I ship them. When they are together, and its pure Jate - like the game room scene...Yes Kate is being dumb right now and I am in NO WAY excusing her for her actions and will not accept her in this form with Jack. But they have not ended this.

Everyone can grow and be sorry for their actions and make terrible mistakes and then completely redeem themselves. I love this couple and THAT is why I'm here. I do believe they will end up together, but even if they didn't I'd still be here. And I'm not dillusional or blind because of it. "You can't help who you love" - And I adore them.

The REAL Jate, not these imposters I see on my TV, deserve it. The couch deserves it.

One can only hope that was a spelling error and not some bizarre reference to pickles. This particular Bubble appears to be on the verge of a psychotic break. She claims not to be delusional. Alas, she is belied by her own words. As mad and tragic as Ophelia, ticking off a list of flowers.

The right and wrong argument for entitlement…

It amuses me to no end that NO ONE interrupts a Skate moment, which almost makes it grosser because there's always someone dropping in on Jate moments. And you could say that Skate is just meant to be except that it's So wrong, fundamentally. It's extremely frustrating to KNOW Jate is the "right" couple and have no idea of the intentions of the writers of the show anymore.

I really have to wonder if the Bubbles realize Lost is a staged program and not just a bunch of stealthy camera operators skulking around getting candid scenes and then splicing them together. The interruptions or lack thereof are on purpose. They are in the script. Therefore, by definition, whether they happen or not, they are always right.

The truth is stranger than fiction argument for entitlement…

Really, she's not being "slutty", she's just being a poorly written character who currently "lives" to serve the writers strange fantasies because she's not the Kate that's been living on the island.

The true Kate wouldn't care about satisfying some strange physical need, she'd be worried about Jack getting hurt by this woman who's infiltrated their camp.

Firstly, "some strange physical need". I am at a loss for words on this one. And secondly, there is only one “true” Kate, and that would be the Kate written by the writers of Lost. You know, the one we see on our TV screens each Wednesday? Any other Kate, including the one you seem to think is “true”, only exists in fantasies and fanfic.

And lastly, this has nothing to do with entitlement, but I came across it in researching this article and it was just too good to pass up…

I've never said that Jack's always right, I just don't believe he's always wrong, no matter how right he is.

And there you have it my friends. How can the Bubbles possibly lose an argument when they are able to articulate themselves so cogently?

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