Wednesday, May 30, 2007

More Insanity from the Fuse Padded Rooms

Posting this for all and sundry to see. Leah Kate's collection of skate mentions in reviews and recaps for the finale. Why? Because the Fuse Nazi's struck again, and nothing gets my hackles up faster than those morons trying to gag the Pro-Skate, Pro-Sawyer community.

I know their justification for their discrimination is now that I brought their wrath onto the Skater community. For that I apologize. It was not my intention to get other Skate fans in trouble (unless they wanted to be). But, my fellow geese, there comes a time when you have to tell the bullies who kick you around that enough's enough. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Someone had to speak out and stand up for the right for Skaters to get their message across to other readers and to the VIP's. They hide behind their arbitrary and constantly changing rules, but the bottom line is, it's their playground, their sandbox. That's why I made one of my own. And everyone's invited. Make your own sandcastles. No one's going to stomp on them here, or if they do, you can kick 'em right back.

In the name of political correctness and board etiquette the Fuselage mods have turned the place into a quagmire where fans are discriminated against by ship and character preference. And apparently, by their own admission, for the petty reason that a poster on a different site altogether on the internet pointed out the absurdity of their conduct and rationalizations. Blanket discrimination. What a great, uplifting role model for the rest of Lost fandom to follow.

I wish I had spoilers to bring, but alas... no. Just for the hell of it, though, I thought I'd post this long compilation of a bunch of different media/blog reviews of the finale. It's nice to see what non-shippers and average viewers think about the romance stuff on the show sometimes. Some of these interpretations are pretty pro-Skate. (And I only copied and pasted the ship-related and Kate and/or Sawyer stuff, that's why it'll seem choppy. To see the complete reviews, just follow the links. )

My favorite one is the reviewer who wants Kate to choose between Sawyer's "sausage" and Jack's "jalapeno." No comment necessary.

As the group continues the hike to the radio tower Kate stops with Sawyer and asks him what happened. Sawyer has been a bit un-Sawyer like lately, even referring to Freckles as Kate. Clearly killing Locke’s father is taking it’s toll on James Ford, and when Kate says she wants to go back to check why there were only two explosions he tells her he doesn’t want to go. Back with the group Sawyer tells Jack he’s going back. Kate has the same question everyone else did…why now when you just said you didn’t want to go back? He tells her he didn’t want to go with her. Jack doesn’t think it’s a good idea to go back unarmed, but Juliet steps up and says she knows of a weapon cache nearby. Jack let’s Sawyer and Juliet leave, but not before Juliet kisses him. Maybe it was just me, but I didn’t notice Jack enjoying it all that much.

As Juliet leads Sawyer back to the beach they exchange quips. Nice to know that the Sawyer we know and love is still around, but it appears to be more clearly a faƧade than ever before. Juliet reveals that there is no weapon cache. Hurley then shows up to offer his help. He says that he simply wants to help. Sawyer looks at him and says, “Look at you Hugo…do you want to get us killed?” Hurley’s looked heartbreakingly devestated as he turned around and headed back. James Ford might have treated his friend like a jerk, but it truly appears he doesn’t want to risk anyone else getting hurt. He’s protecting him.

Sawyer gets his hero on a bit when he decides to turn back for Sayid and co. When he tells Kate that he doesn't want her along, she's the only person who doesn't realize he's just saying that to protect her. He does take the even-more-smug-than-usual Juliet, and even poor faithful Hurley. And surprise, it ends up being Hurley who saves the day, running down one of the Other bad guys with that old Dharma VW Bus. They get the upper hand on the Others and manage to rescue the obviously-not-dead guys.

Lost in 60 Seconds:
Jack finally fesses up and tells Kate that he loves her. The surprise here is that he does it in a simple, touching, and remarkably unwhiny way. On the other hand, Jack also kisses Juliet, in front of Kate. What is up with you, guy?

"We made a mistake," glum Jack told a supermodel-looking Kate, who was almost unrecognizable with all that make-up she had packed on. "We were not supposed to leave!"

So, after trying so hard to get off the freaky island, Jack wants to go back.
But why?

Does he miss the jungle? Hurley's stench? Sawyer's stubble? And who was in the coffin? And was that really Walt Locke saw? Was Ben's prediction of doom and gloom correct? Why doesn't The One-Eyed French Guy ever die? Did Kate have a massive injection of collagen in her lips?

When the castaways realized something had gone wrong at the beach, Kate wanted to go back, and wanted Sawyer to go with her. The shaggy con man — sleepwalking through life since killing Anthony Cooper in ''The Brig'' — seemed not to care. But like the latter-day Han Solo that he is, Sawyer roused himself to reluctant valor, though he refused to take his Princess Leia with him. Jack later had to spell it out for her: ''He only wanted to protect you.'' Then, the whopper: ''I love you,'' the doc told Kate. Though she didn't say it, Kate's eyes finished the implied Empire Strikes Back homage: I know, they said. It hit me like Cupid's arrow: All these weeks of Jack cozying up to Juliet may have been a ruse, perhaps an attempt to draw info out of the former Other. Clearly, next season will focus on the Jack-Kate-Juliet-Sawyer quadrangle.,,20040061_2,00.html

Is the "he" referenced at Kate's home Sawyer? Or is Sawyer the guy in the coffin?

Me? I think it's Sawyer at home and Ben in the coffin. Ben's short, the casket was small, and nobody in the States knows him, which would explain the empty funeral.

I could be very wrong. But unanswered big questions are part of the show's intrigue. There was no cliffhanger this season. Cliffhangers are little and cheap and uninventive.

Instead, Lost provided a comfortable closer tinged with an ominous tone struck by Ben's insistence that the crash survivors had brought on an unthinkable terror by contacting outside forces.
Satisfying and mysterious.

CUT TO the Losties walking up the hill. Sawyer announces he plans on returning to the beach. Jack says no but Sawyer isn’t asking for permission. Kate gets upset because she had just fought with Sawyer. She wanted to go back but he refused. He also made a reference to the fact that he would not be a “proud papa” if Kate ends up pregnant. Therefore, Kate and Sawyer are really on the outs. So sad because I really like them rolling in the hay together. It made things really interesting. The plan seems stupid to Jack: 1 man, no guns and 3 friends held hostage. This is a recipe for disaster. Too bad for Jack, his girlfriend Juliet comes forward saying she knows where Sawyer can get guns. She will lead him back to the camp, stopping to get guns along the way. Juliet and Jack kiss goodbye passionately. Kate watches full of jealousy. KATE STOP! Sawyer and you are meant to be. Stop fighting destiny. Criminal on criminal action is where its at. Duh.

On the hike, Jack tells Kate that Sawyer is just trying to protect her by being mean. He didn’t mean to leave her or say those rude things. Kate wants to know how Jack could possibly know that…it’s because that’s why Jack told her not to come back for him. Kate tells Jack that Sawyer would never defend Jack to her. Jack responds, “Because I love you.” Paternal love? Brother/sister love? Who knows, his expression is as vague as the look he gives her. People must be taking crazy pills. There is too much going on for these heartfelt emotions to get in the way. BEN IS ABOUT TO STOP YOU PEOPLE!!! AHHHH.


He hopes that Kate went to the funeral of BLANK - - why blank? Because they never tell us who. Stingy Lost Writers. Apparently, the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 got a golden pass to travel as much as they want. Jack goes because he wants to die. He declares, “We made a mistake.” Kate says she has to go and “he’s” going to be wondering where she is. Who’s he? Sawyer I hope. At first, I thought it would be Sawyer’s funeral. But I want Sawyer to live a fulfilled life since he had such a horrible childhood.

But just what are we seeing?
Here are a few possibilities.

1 - It's a true flash forward of what will happen when the survivors are rescued. Kate will wind up with a mystery guy (likely Sawyer), and Jack will be stuck in a hellish existence regretting his rescue.

2 - It's a what-if scenario. Perhaps next season will feature flash forwards of dire consequences for the survivors if they continue on their path toward this particular rescue scenario, Desmond has shown that the future can be changed, but how much is unchangeable. Will the survivors ever have real happiness after rescue?

3 - A big problem with Jack's "flashbacks" is that he tells one doctor to call his father. Yet, Jack's dad died before Jack ever crashed on the island. So if this is truly a "what happened after", then his father should be dead. Perhaps Jack is drunk and forgetful, demonstrating how horrible his life has become. Maybe it's a parallel universe. Who knows?

Either way, Lost has shown the ugly truth to its viewers. We don't want the survivors to be rescued.

Lost is about family. The survivors are an unconventional family. No one is truly alone. Everything that's happened has depended on one member helping another. A rescue would break up that family.

Let's face it. We're a part of that family. So rescue may be the carrot on the stick, but we're not ready to quit whipping the horse just yet.

Apparently, everyone gets off the island. We know this because the show’s usual flashback was a FLASH FORWARD!!!! We saw Jack, in full beard form, breaking down after some major event forced him to think about jumping off a bridge. Apparently, someone died, someone he didn’t really like. And then, when all seemed lost (ha ha), he called someone on the phone and asked the person to meet him at the airport. A fancy car pulled up behind Jack’s Jeep, and Kate got out! At first, I thought the two knew each other before the crash, but we quickly found out that this was a post-crash meeting, when Kate cleaned up wonderfully and was married to someone we probably know. Jack wanted to go back to the island because he hasn’t lived much of a life since. We’re left with him at the airport wishing he could go back.

And now, back to the present. Lots of double twists and turns. It was thought that Sayid, Bernard and Jin were shot dead. But the Others shot bullets into the sand instead. Then Hurley came to the rescue in the VW bus, running over one of the Others. Then Sayid snapped another’s neck and Sawyer shot Tom Friendly. That one got a cheer out of me. That one was richly deserved. Tom started this whole business when he stole Walt from the raft.

Also, who died? In the "flashbacks", Jack went to a funeral home for someone's viewing, but they never revealed who it was. Might it have been Locke? I thought it might have been Sawyer, but then Kate said that she had to get back to "him". I would assume that if Kate isn't with Jack when they leave the island, she is probably with Sawyer.
Now the speculation begins.
What will happen next season?

4) Has Sawyer’s experience killing Locke’s father and the man responsible for his mother’s death turned him into a killer? Sawyer killed off Tom in last night’s finale without flinching leaving Juliet and Hurley a bit blown away. (no pun intended) And even Kate commented on Sawyer’s withdrawn behavior post-Locke episode. Will this have a long-term effect on the former con with a heart of gold? Has the island transformed him into a killer with a heart of stone?

6) Jack/Sawyer/Juliet/Kate Love Quadrangle: Jack has always loved Kate (he tells her so in the season finale), but she clearly loves Sawyer. In the future episodes, he is not with Kate, but hung up on her in some capacity, even if it is just the island connection. We don’t know about Sawyer and Juliet, but Kate alludes to a “he” waiting for her in the future sequences so perhaps she ended up with Sawyer. I don’t think Jack and Juliet ended up together. Maybe Juliet died, but since he didn’t really love her I guess it’s a non-issue.

I only really appreciated the flash-forward at the end, when zonked-out bearded bum Jack met up with Kate, who looked like she sprinted directly from the rescue vessel to a Kiehl's counter. Otherwise the main things that it showed me was...
a) regardless of whether Jack's all sweaty and angry on an island, or hairy and stumbly on OxyContin, he's getting really hard to stomach; and
b) something went terribly wrong.
Also, guys? If you find yourself on a long trek with two handsome gals you're interested in, don't kiss one on the mouth and then tell the other you love her. It's not going to help your case.


--Sawyer murdering Tom in cold blood made my arm hairs stand on end, the guy really had it coming.

--OK, I have to admit: Juliet and Ben went from being the worst part of this season to one of the best reasons to watch. Without question they're a main reason that I'm staying in this loveless marriage. The other is the hope that I'll see more Bernard and more Rose, who filled my heart with joy by lipping off to Jack. Somebody needed to. Damn.

On the subject of sexuality, when is the whole Jack-Kate-Sawyer triangle going to culminate in some kind of definitive relationship? There’s been plenty of to-ing and fro-ing from the disturbed temptress Kate, especially now that Juliet has arrived on the scene to absorb much of Jack’s energies. Sort it out Kate goddammit – either go for the Sawyer sausage or the Jack jalapeƱo – and stop trying to nibble away at both! Still, at least Claire isn’t after Jack as well. That would be fairly incestuous (and undeniably entertaining) given that they’re actually half brother and sister – but neither of them know it yet.

And to whom is Kate married? It's not Jack; maybe it's Sawyer, but knowing this show, it could be the unlucky lottery winner Hurley for all we know.

The last two hours of "Lost" also kicked butt and palpitated the heart. Walt, whose growth spurt since he was last seen on the island has given him the proportions of the late Mr. Eko, talked Locke out of the grisly mass grave and back into action. Sawyer proved he could be the hero we always knew was just beneath his bad-boy surface. For the second week in a row, Charlie reduced The Insider to tears with his leave-taking (and the preparations). Get Dominic Monaghan an Emmy nomination. So satisfying was it when Jack gave Ben the long-overdue beat-down that The Insider dispensed with a second antidepressant in three days. The question(s) left by finale flash-forwards focused on Jack are tantalizing and bittersweet and exactly what true "Lost" fans savor. Now that Jack has told Kate he loves her (on the island) and been rebuffed by Kate (in the flash-forward), the romantic triangle has been re-established. But if it's Sawyer in that flash-forward casket, The Insider fears she will be doubling the antidepressants at some point in the future.

SAY WHAT? Among the evening's more confounding announcements: Juliet telling Sawyer that The Others were building a runway; Mikhail saying to Bonnie and Greta, "I thought you were on assignment in Canada!"; Jack talking to the doctor about his father as if Christian is still alive; and pretty much the entire closing conversation between Jack and Kate. (When she said "he" was waiting for her, did she mean Sawyer? It certainly sounded as if it was someone Jack knows.)

THE GAME CHANGES: And, yes, the moment that changed everything: the person Jack’s been calling all episode shows up and it’s … Kate. What? I’ll admit that for a second I was angry, thinking, “They knew each other before they got on the island? That’s nonsense. This is bull—“ and then I realized what we all realized. This wasn’t a flashback but a flash forward. Kate and Jack get off the island, Kate’s with some “he” now, and Jack is utterly miserable. Oh, and there was a funeral for somebody (Locke? Michael? Ben??) and only Jack attended.

Mod deletion reason given: Infringement of 3rd party copyright. Even though no article was reprinted in its entirety, only snippets of published reviews were posted with a link to the full review provided. So...what gives?

Addendum: One of Halfreak's comments gave me a chuckle, Hi-larious - "i don't agree with the Jaters but i dont need to demean them b/c of their beliefs any more than i would demean another religion."

Jate is a religion now? Talk about being whacked out and suped up on happy juice. Seriously, that trivializes all other actual bonafide religions out there. WTF? Do we have Fundamentalist vs Pentecostal vs Evangelical denominations now? Tell me, are you an Orthodox Bubblehead or Heterodox? Shipping two fictional TV characters is NOT a frakking religious or spiritual experience, thank you very much. Although the Bubbleheads do seem to display cult-like fanatical tendencies.

And you wonder why people continue to point and laugh at such ridiculous comments.

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