Jate-think

Over at one of the main LOST sites, there was a team quesion as to what would happen at the end of the show according to Jate-think, talk about some interesting options. Here are a few more choices for your amusement:

If LOST is to have a finite point - say at the end of Season 5, please select one of the following scenarios you would like to see happen (and why), or supply your own.....

1) "The Heel" Sacrifice. The Heel realizes that Kate really does love Sawyer, Sawyer really does love Kate, Jate really sank, and Skate really do belong together; The Heel then sacrifices her cyber-life to give some semblance of kindness, goodness, and sanity back to the interweb. This would happen sometime between right away and. . . well, right away.

2) The Season 5 Big Bonanza. Kate and Sawyer remain the OTP of Lost for the duration of the show. And the Heel spends all of season five leading Jaters in watching reruns of Bonanza.

3) The Will they or Won't They Show. Jack and Kate are reunited prior to S5, but he yells at her again, she sobs random apologies, they rinse and repeat a couple of times ad nauseum (TV Guide supplies special edition Lost paper barf bags to mark the unique occasion), and finally he dismisses her in order to wander off and have raunchy, unprotected floor sex with a skanky Thai tattoo artist with an alien coming out of her chest.

4) Angst Overload. Either Kate or Sawyer will sacrifice their only boat so Jack can sail off to find his manhood.

5) Bring it on Baby. Kate and Sawyer teach their baby to track, and Jaters everywhere wish they could get drunk and meet Matthew Fox at one of his sadist parties so he would make them do abnormally embarrassing things...

6) Future Findings. We discover that if Kate had ever really hooked up with Jack, she'd have killed herself and would have had absolutely no future to find. Read more...

Everyone grab a life-JACKET!

Looks like Jacket may be a-coming after all, so there's hope for all you Jackaroos who want Jack to get some with a nice wholesome and yet possibly dangerous gal (who isn't Kate the fugitive murderess).

"Early on, seemingly psychic Desmond, huggable Hurley and mama Claire will all get some flashback love. The first episode, however, belongs to the Other-worldly Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) and may reveal why she asked Jack to off creepy Ben. "She's doing what she thinks is best," Mitchell says. Uh-huh. Give us more. "Juliet is quietly deadly, and that's fascinating to me. I don't look like a deadly person. I look like the kind of person you'd let hold your baby." And now that Jack's witnessed Kate's jungle lovin', odds are good he'll turn to Juliet for comfort. We might find out when Jack's flashback episode airs soon after the show returns. Confesses Mitchell, "Matthew is beautiful. He gives me these looks sometimes where I'm like, 'Wow, it's getting really warm in here."

So, I guess it's time to don Your Life-JACKETS, mateys. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum...





That last one is for those crazy Fox-philes who actually think Fox came off as sexy and manly in that latest article. Yeah, he's just the kind of man to blow chunks over. Read more...

Random Bubblehead Post of the Day

"For some Jateness, I have to say that Kate may think she is making peace with her past in some way by looking out for Sawyer, [So Kate's hooking up with Sawyer is a Girl Scout good deed to exorcise her life of crime? Mmkay...] but Jack is the only one who can give her the love she needs. [Conditional love? The kind that chokes and stifles if you don't jump through the requisite hoops, yeah, I'm sure Kate really needs that.] Kate committed a grave sin, but she has always suffered for it. [She's not sorry she killed Wayne though, and any suffering that came after was as a RESULT of her crimes and bad decisions] We haven't seen her "forgiven" I think Jack's unconditional love would go a long way toward feeling "forgiven" [Again the notion of Kate being somehow cleansed of her sins, sanctified and made righteous again... through Jack's love. THIS concept is at the heart of Jate, and it's twisted and unromantic, and doesn't belong in ANY story written in 2007. Sheesh! And what is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? Apparently it's not being with someone who loves you as you are, always lets you be yourself, empowers you, respects you (i.e.Sawyer). It's when you understand you will be loved only if you become an entirely different person. More Alice in the Looking Glass. Or Kate Through the Frakking Dharma Glass!]. She needs to move on and be the real Kate, the one we have seen when she is with Jack. [The REAL Kate doesn't do Taco night. Even Damon has said that Jack knows she can never play the role he wants her to play. The REAL Kate is strong, independent and compassionate, tough and ruthless, and also loyal and brave. She's not somebody's simpering Girl-Friday who's flattered she got asked to tag along] Sawyer has always been easy to be with [Yeah, because he's not a sanctimonious, hypocritical, no-fun, anal retentive jackass] He doesn't have expectations of her to be a decent person, in fact he seems to always expect the worst. [I disagree but if you say so, he comes down harder on himself]. When she is with Sawyer, she seems to be commiserating [Or having fun, enjoying herself, and just being herself (as Evie has mentioned) As opposed to constantly kowtowing and making apologies and walking on eggshells around Jack]. Just about anytime I can think of that Kate wanted to do something good and decent while around Sawyer resulted in an argument or put down from him. [Oh, you mean like when he asked her honest opinion in HOTRS and didn't just assume she'd move to the caves? Or asked her what she thought in ML? Or gave her a gun when she wanted to help her fellow Losties in HC and ML? I can think of more incidences where Jack tried to shut Kate down for wanting to do something useful, or questioned her motives than with Sawyer] So, anyway, Jate is sooo fate." [Repeat it enough times and it has to come true, right?] Read more...

Fractured Phrases and Red Faces

Lost fandom sometimes leads us to strange, strange places. Here’s a little exchange from the Couch about... Latin, of all things. And of course, it starts with Shoegirl, who can’t seem to shake that pesky need to seem smarter than everybody else by spouting random Latin phrases.

"Some of ya'll know I love most things Latin. SPQR!!
Here is a beautiful latin saying that embodies Jate as well as Jaters.
In fide ambulabimus, in fide inter nos amabimus, in fide semper vivemus --
English translation: In faith we walk, in faith we love, and in faith we will live forever more.

I believe!

shoe"

Then Majandra responded with:

"Who does these translations for you? My 8 years of Latin back in school might be tricking me but I don't think this translation is entirely correct. AFAIR "bi" is the ending for future tense, so it should be "we will walk" and "we will love" whereas "vivemus" doesn't look future tense to me... but it's a different conjugation and my last Latin lesson is 12 years ago...

But don't worry about it. I've read a lot of bad Latin translation lately."

Shoegirl chose to sidestep the pesky questions about verb tense and replied with:

"Scratches head at this post....
Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
LOL. I like all things Latin, but like you, it has been a while since I was in Latin class and participating in translation competition.
It was afterall, the thought that counts, not the proper verb tense....

I Believe. Fide et Amore

Shoe"

So some people in togas are plotting against her, and her Latin grammar is a little rusty. Alrighty.

And then Dezdemona popped up on the Fishelage to tell us that the quote was actually someone's personalized wedding vows:

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Latin-2145/Wedding-Vows-Latin-Translations.htm

We couldn’t help but laugh at that. Naughty Shoegirl, borrowing people’s wedding vows without so much as an acknowledgement, much less a thank you. We thought that would be the end of it but once again, Jaters are the gift that keeps on giving.

It turns out Majandra lurks at the Fishelage. There’s no other way to account for this post:

"Of course it's the thought that counts! It's just the teacher in me that likes things to be correct. And I do feel sorry for the poor girl and her wedding vow. If her fiance is really the Latin geek as she said, he was probably cringing through the whole thing. LOL! ("Mi Amor" is definitely NOT Latin! LOL!)

Okay... back to Jate? Who needs Latin when we have Jate, right?"

We’re perplexed at why Majandra didn’t just send Shoegirl a friendly PM to let her know she’d been outed for plagiarizing the initial quote, perhaps adding a suggestion that she include a citation of source with the quote. Instead, she chose to muddle things up by mentioning a “wedding vow” not even previously referred to on the Couch. And to our further amusement, despite her self-acknowledged poor memory of Latin grammar, she ended her post with a flouncing “neener-neener, that translator’s stoopid anyway”.

Jaters just can’t help themselves, can they? Here’s a helpful hint to Majandra, “Mi” in “Mi amor” is the vocative case of meus. In other words, the quote is correct and you look silly. And as for the verb tense, the translator must be a romantic. She took the liberty of putting the two first phrases of the vow into the future tense so as to be symmetrical with the last part. It's more poetic that way. And while we're at it, Shoegirl's "Fide et amore" is incorrect. I think she's trying for "Faith and love", which would be "Fides et amor". But hey, thanks for giving us a bunch of chuckles over Latin, of all things.

Sane, paululum linguae latinae dico. Id legi modo hic modo illic. vero, latine loqui non est difficilissimum. Lingua speciem involutam praebet, sed sat cito eam comprehendes. Atque memento, nulli adsunt Romanorum qui locutionem tuam corrigant.

Translation: Sure, I speak a little Latin. I picked it up here and there. Really, Latin isn't all that hard. It looks like a tricky language, but you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly. And remember, there aren't any Romans around to correct your pronunciation.

You don't need to know a lot of Latin to have fun with it. Here's a list of phrases you might find handy when you want to impress some of your shallower friends, but remember not to overdo it. You wouldn't want to look pretentious, would you?

Die dulci fruimini.
- Have a nice day.

Braccae tuae aperiuntur.
- Your fly is open.

Cave canem.
- Beware of dog.

Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est.
- The check is in the mail.

Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum. .
- Garbage in, garbage out.

Non erravi perniciose! .
- I did not commit a fatal error!

Sona si latine loqueris.
- Honk if you speak Latin.

Cur non isti mictum ex occasione?
- Why didn't you go when you had the chance?

Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas.
- Thank you for not smoking.

Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
- How do you get your hair to do that?

Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
- Would I lie to you?

Canis meus id comedit.
- My dog ate it.

Age. Fac ut gaudeam.
- Go ahead. Make my day.

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Observa quo vadis, cinaede!
- Watch where you're going, you jerk!

Apudne te vel me?
- Your place or mine?

Nullo modo.
- No way.

Ita erat quando hic adveni.
- It was that way when I got here.

Nonne macescis?
- Have you lost weight?

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
- I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

Non erravi perniciose!
- I brake for animals!

Lege atque lacrima.
- Read ‘em and weep.

Nihil declaro.
- I have nothing to declare.

Id quot circumiret, circumveniat.
- What goes around, comes around.

In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes.
- You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth.

Balaenae nobis conservandae sunt.
- Save the whales.

Te capiam, cunicule sceleste!
- I'll get you, you wascally wabbit!

Noli inferre se in agmen!
- No cutting in!

Hodie adsit, cras absit.
- Here today, gone tomorrow.

Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem!
- The devil made me do it!

Pistrix! Pistrix!
- Shark! Shark!

Uno viso, omnia visa sunt.
- Seen one, seem ‘em all.

Si fallatis officium, quaestor infitias eat se quicquam scire de factis vestris.
- If you fail, the secretary will disavow all knowledge of your activities.

Caveat depascor.
- Browser beware!

Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.
- It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
- I've got to see a man about a dog.

Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni!
- Beam me up, Scotty!

Labra lege ...
- Read my lips ...

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
- The designated hitter rule has got to go.

Neutiquam erro.
- I am not lost.

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
- If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Quidquid excusatio prandium pro.
- Any excuse for lunch.

Jate? Fors fortis!
- Jate? Fat chance!

Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.
- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
- May barbarians invade your personal space!

Quantum in ura hora imputas?
- You charge how much an hour?

Volo comparare nonnulla tegumembra.
- I'd like to buy some condoms.

Credo Elvem ipsum etiam vivere.
- I think that Elvis is still alive.

Note: Most of the above quotes are from “Latin for All Occasions”, by Henry Beard, with a few from assorted websites and one original thrown in for good measure. Read more...

UPDATE to the Upgrade

Yikes! The Fish has temporarily jumped out of our Fish pond it seems!



I've been told that our Fishelage upgrade has hit a snag and the experts need to have a confab about how best to unsnag it. Apologies to the Fishbitches, Fishbastards and the Prickly One. If you wish to continue swimming while we pump water into the pond again, please visit the lagoon:

http://fishbiscuitland.com/fishelageII/index.php

Alas, this will require you to register again. If you want to stay sane however, it does only take a minute to register and it is only a temporary measure to tide us over until we gain even nicer waters to play in. We'll be roughing it without smilies (I can hear the cries of anguish already) but at least we'll have a warm place to hang out together 'til the Fishelage is back up and running. You might also want to bookmark this site as it will remain our backup site should we ever need it in the future. Please hang in there, this may take a few days!

Thank you in advance for your enforced patience! Read more...

Straight from the Horse's Mouth

Well, now that the LOVE blow-out of 2007 is mostly over, it's time to tackle that article where Foxy ran off his mouth. Yeah, you didn't think I'd let that one slide did ya? "Men's Journal", February 2007 edition.

Some snippets for your amusement:

"I'm a liar and a cheat and a thief and the ultimate manipulator. You can never believe a fucking word that comes out of my mouth. I tell lies everyday, man. And when I say I'm phenomenally manipulative, I am." Arrogance, thy name is Fox.

Don't you just love all the 'pure and innocent' tales of drunk by 12, tobacco chewing and sex by 14, pothead soon after...substance issues galore.

Barfing in the water because he was so frakking hungover from a hard night. How much of it was still in his system, huh? Yeah, what a guy. That was really responsible and not idiotically stupid to get trashed the night before a gruelling water-shoot. Is safety not a concern with this dude? Poor Ian.

Seems he likes to con people into doing shit they'd never do sober. An instigator? Real nice. Wonder if he slipped an E in someone's drink and thought it would be funny too. "I really enjoy that process of sort of - well, I fuck with people alot."

And he thinks a woman wants someone "edgy", "brutal", "base", "very violent" "animalistic". Huh. What a rutting prince charming.

"I don't know dude, but I grew up, all the way until I was 22 years old, fricking in locker rooms showering with fuckin' 40 other dudes, and you're not checking each other's cock sizes out, you're just walking around like it's no big deal. And no I don't take my clothes off all the time because I think I have a huge unit and want to show it off. I do it because it's frickin' funny!" Mmmkayyy, we get it. You're one of them annoying jock types.

"It's like when suddenly the whole spotlight lands on me - whoosh - I can be pretty unforgiving about how I use that. I mean if somebody's up my ass because they think I'm the sexiest guy in the world, I can be unapologetically vicious. Or if somebody's up your ass because somebody's told them to be up your ass, in that case, you're just like - he flips the bird - 'Fucking get lost.' It's not cool. And it's not such a nice and pleasant thing to admit, but it's true."

Haha and some of the more batshit Bubbleheads actually hero worship this guy as the embodiment of their fictional Jack? *snickers madly*. Thank you Fox for helping to burst their bubble of unreality. Keep it real, dude.

The whole article:




Read more...

Did I mention that Skateislove?

Poor widdle Bubbleheads went running to mommy about the nasty Skaters using the LOVE screencap from the promo. How frakking juvenile. WAAAAH! Can't handle the fact that the ABC Promo superimposed love on Sawyer and Kate kissing and the Skaters picked up on it?

And then we have Halfrek the megabitch mod from Hades throwing down the smack for...what exactly? Halfrek if I had any balls I'd want you to suck them for being such a tightass, kneejerk, arrogant snot who caters to the Bubbleheads and eats their cake and constantly seems to feel the need to stomp on her professed own ship's thread.

PRESERVED FOR POSTERITY, YOU DESERVE 5 STARS PROF DEZ FOR TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. The rank favoritism on that site towards the Couch toadies who need handholding every frakking five seconds is rank, blatantly obvious and makes a mockery of what good modding should be all about.

And the horse you road in on!

With all due respect, and I mean that quite sincerely, would you please give us guidelines as to what would work? A different kiss screen cap? All we want to do here is put together a screen cap, a color wash and the word LOVE. Yes, the INSPIRATION for the idea came from the promo, but we love the graphics and the colors over an iconic moment that has already aired. If we're not allowed to use the word LOVE on an avi, then there are scores of others on the board in violation too, though again, I don't understand WHY. We fell in love with this concept gradually, the inspiration of a graphic, then the wonderful colors, then the rainbow of colors on a team avi. There's no conspiracy or plot here, that's not what it's all been about.

Most especially, I do not understand the level of pure venom in the two "disciplinary" posts. Is this board not intended for people to ENJOY the fandom, and this forum on it to ENJOY their ships? Sawyer and Kate got together, the word LOVE appears on all kinds of avis for ships of every description, but it's not allowed on an avi of the couple that actually DID get together? I genuinely don't get it. We collaborated right here on the board to try to comply with the rules. Look at the number of DIRECT questions to Halfrek and to Mods generally that went unanswered in the early posts. Nobody said we were on the wrong track anywhere, then we find out that we were on the wrong track only 12 hours later, because Halfrek's computer was on the fritz. How could we possibly know that? NOW you come at us with this disrespect stuff? THAT was not the intent and it's too juvenile an accusation even to dignify with a response, except that we have to because we're being treated like unruly 12 year olds. You both seem to think our "fun" was in somehow circumventing a rule, which is twisted IMO, and NOTmy kind of fun - here or elsewhere. Our FUN was in making our clubhouse beautiful and colorful and celebratory and enjoying our ship, and if you'd read it from that perspective - instead of looking for some petty motive - then you'd see that is exactly what the whole rainbow of LOVE was all about!

If you are genuinely incapable of seeing that, then shame on you for thinking the worst of everybody instead of trying to help them when they ask for it. We wanted to get as close as we could to the graphic that inspired it - no more, and no less, without compromising any rules or getting ourselves in trouble, and said both those things repeatedly.

To come at us after a full day of silence on the questions and development of our ideas - THAT WE PUT RIGHT OUT THERE SO WE COULD BE GIVEN GUIDANCE IF WE WERE GOING OFFTRACK is more than excessive. NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON was SPOILED by our error. Whose experience of the show or the board did we possibly affect negatively by our error? Nobody's. So this all boils down to the perception that we're to be treated like 12 year olds going behind the teacher's back or some juvenile crap, when we couldn't have been more OPEN about what we were hoping to accomplish and more obviously careful and reluctant to screw up if we'd tried!

We had a lovely day decorating our clubhouse in rainbow colors, but if you want to insist it was about something else, we sure can't stop you. Another mod might have come on AFTER HER COMPUTER HAD BEEN OUT OF ORDER FOR 12 HOURS and said, "Whoa, you guys have waaaay misunderstood! Back up there. It's not just about the promo, it's about BAITING," which YOU mentioned for the first time because none of us even thought of that! (We've already gone past that because our couple IS a couple.) Then we could have gone from there, discussing possible screen caps and graphics and so on, because surely not ALL Skate avis are atuomatically off limits just because some people don't like the couple being together?

I wish we were discussing this instead of typing it because I am frustrated, and the way things are going here and the perception you seem to have of us, you might mistake frustration for disrespect and it is NOT intended that way. I'll wait for my "reward" with great disappointment about how this lovely cheerful day turned out. Chalk this one up as a victory for the people who can't stand the couple being together and will report any and everything connected to Skate, and to the fact that we weren't psycic enough to know Halfrek's computer was out of order all day while we were enjoying ourselves thinking we'd figured it out and gotten it right. ~DEZDEMONA

*snicker* A massive meltdown over a silly stupid little icon because some over-sensitive Jater got pissy and freaked out at seeing Sawyer and Kate canon kissing, and the word LOVE officially superimposed over them on an official promo. Don't tell me this was about being SPOILERY at all, what a bunch of bat guano.

I'm sure some nice Jater was concerned that it might give away something that might air...no wait it already DID air. It was a blatant report for the sake of kicking up a fuss and ENVY that the skaters were happy and celebrating their ship in such a coordinated fashion and displaying the kind of team spirit that doesn't need a spin-bible and jack-boots to accomplish.

Anyways, it's all pretty darn pathetic to get that riled about an avatar, isn't it? But hey, Bubbleheads seem intent on spreading negativity whereever they can. It's become frakking predictable lately. And yet they call us meanspirited and nasty??

Skateislove. Get over it. You can't keep a conman and his fugitive girl down.

All you skaters out there, spread the message of love, sport those AVI's and icons with pride, good humour and snark till you drop. Fight the oppression of proud Skaterness wherever you find it! Come out and declare yourself as a skater if you haven't before this day! Wear your rainbow coloured LOVE icon with no apologies!!!!

Peace out!

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