Monday, July 30, 2007


Evangeline Lilly recently took a whirlwind press tour Down Under and the ship boards have been flooded by waves of new quotes from our oddball heroine. As usual, they were a mix of the kooky and the controversial, full of bones for both ships, and left us all very confused. Well, by “all” I mean those of us who think and read and listen to what is actually said. It’s different in that whacky upside down world known as the Jate Couch. Let’s take our own journey Through the Looking Glass and get a bead on how our Jater buddies interpreted these interviews, courtesy of their very own Correspondent Mysticxf. Why Mystic you may ask. What makes this little avi-making machine the best person to interpret this whole series of interviews and rambles from our girl Evi?

There is so much about these interviews that I love and it's not because I'm a Jater, but because I'm a woman.

And since being a woman is such an unusual circumstance here in shipperland, I’m sure we can all agree that Mystic deserves to speak for all of us.

But they turned the triangle, which was already getting out of hand, into an all-out-war for who could get the most enticing quotes from the creators and who could misquote, misinterpret and mislead the best to keep fanning the shipper flames and keep their websites up in hits.

So this is the important part. Mystic isn’t going to misquote. She isn’t going to misinterpret. She isn’t going to mislead. She’s going to tell the pure, unvarnished, objective truth…Got that?

In keeping with Mystic’s spirit, we’ll try something she didn’t think of (but would have I’m sure, if she was able): We’ll just link to the actual interviews (when possible) and give some direct quotes. Then we’ll read Mystic’s unbiased and accurate interps. Sound good? Let’s go.

First Evi discusses the mini – arc, which culminated in her love scene with Sawyer.

It was an interesting juxtaposition for Lilly. "Personally, I was exercising more acting muscles than ever," she says. "It was a huge challenge and honour"

What? An honour? B-b-but Mystic says:

It was sickening to watch. AS A WOMAN. I'm glad Evi is voicing her opinion on it and she's voicing it hardcore. It's disgusting to watch her dilly-dally because some honcho at ABC decided the show had to abandon its heart along with its pants. Or because the writers somehow thought we watch Animal Planet for the pig porn. It's just a "tv show", but these characters are characters we're supposed to FEEL for and I can't feel for a woman who thinks sex in the mud to a man she has, at best, mixed feelings for, while being held prisoner is "ok" -- especially not after I spent two years getting to know her as a woman who has a little more respect for herself than that.

Pig Porn?

You mean this?

Because you can’t possibly mean this:

Remember back when Evi was discussing this pig porn in December?,,AA1354527-6258,00.html

"Your character just had a night of love with Sawyer. Are you liking the way romance's been handled on the island by the producers?

Yes, I'm really liking it. …I believe that romance on the show bloomed on the right moment, and the way it's happening, I believe it's very realistic, without being infantile or gratuitous. It's something genuine, mature and sensitive."

I think it was a defining moment at the beginning of the season that would reflect who she was going to be and how she was going to behave over the next few episodes, until we see them leave the cages. I think [the writers] wrote Kate in such a beautiful way. She has continued to be more and more vulnerable, and reveal more and more of herself, but she's returned to her strength. I think that is true healing when you don't have to become weak, but you are willing to become vulnerable."

So why does Mystic think Evi thought this part of her storyline was crap? Mystic wouldn’t misquote, misinterpret or mislead – she’s too good for that, of course, since she’s a UBERIMMA FIDES JATER – So what is she talking about when she says:

Evi is a writer and, as a WRITER, she disagreed with her storyline because she knew most of it was crap, but she didn't seem to take issue with Kate's quest to go from a woman who's put up walls and constantly on the run to a woman who's vulnerable and who's finally found an emotional attachment from which she can't.

Now, we all know that nowhere in any interview did Evi reference the Jate "emotional attachment" as one Kate couldn't run from. And to her credit, Mystic doesn't try to pretend she did - she just, like, implies that's what was said, just drops it there like a stinky turd for Jaters to feel sort of vaguely proud of themselves for. Even though Evi never said anything about Jate in this context in even one of her many, many Aussie interviews. Why trip over details like that?

However, what are we to make of this quote about Evi “losing respect” for Kate? Mystic wouldn’t misquote or mislead on that either would she?

Like here I just want it to go one way or the other. I feel like watching Kate flip between two men... it takes away so much of the respect I had for her when the show first started, and she was this strong, independent, capable woman. Now, it's like, (mockingly) 'I don't know which one today...' (giggles). I hate that, I hate that... and I want her to go one way or the other.

Correspondent Mystic reports objectively:

Like Evi said, "I lost respect for her." A lot of us did. Not as Jaters, as women. So I'm proud of her for sticking up for her character and hopefully this season will bring change.

So we can presume that Mystic understands it wasn’t the Pig Porn that made Evi lose respect for Kate, it was the reinvigoration of the disgusting triangle. Mystic knows that, right? She’s a smart girl. Uh, right?

She simply believes that WOMEN (as opposed to pig porn fans) prefer this kind of love story, where the woman stays on her knees and gets berated and driven to constant tears:

to anything as disgusting and demeaning as all this:

Come on, WOMEN. Male domination is the New Feminism. Where have you all been the past three years?

Correspondent Mystic continues her objective coverage:

As a writer, she's capable of seeing the bigger picture, And the bigger picture Evi sees is Jack and Kate and it's said with an unspoken "duh" so loud and clear she might as well have punctuated the statement with it.

What unspoken “duh” is Mystic talking about here, with no misquoting, misinterpreting or misleading? Maybe it’s this interview, where Evi plaintively asks the interviewer to reassure her that Lost will never be totally as trite and predictable as hero-gets-girl. Or the “kind of “ hero, as the case may be.

no matter what my personal sentiments would be, Jack is kind of the hero of the show, right? And the hero always gets the girl. Doesn't he... doesn't he?

I don’t know what kind of “punctuation” Mystic is referring to, but sounded like a bigass question mark to me. Not quite as clear as back in December when Evi described what made Kate kiss Sawyer in the cage:

Obviously, the actual answer is, 'I love you, and I don't know how to say it because I am afraid to say it.' He is so much like her that when she says that, he hears 'I love you' and then kisses her back. I think the writers did it so beautifully because it was real and grown up.

Boy, that Evi sure sounds disgusted there, doesn’t she?

Let’s here some more from Correspondent Mystic, the WOMAN:

It was hard to defend her like I had before because I couldn't agree with her actions at all. Not because I'm a Jater, but because it's disgusting behavior and any woman who agrees with it, applauds it... I pity them and I am revolted by them. This is what women are to them. This is what sex means to them.
"But if I were to go with what's gonna work for like 99% of the women in this world, at this point it's Sawyer. They're lovin' Sawyer right now."

Got that? Evi and all the rest of us 99% of women are disgusting animals! (And it sure doesn’t sound like there’s any sliver of doubt in Evi’s mind about how these proportions break down, does there?) Mystic the WOMAN pities us, is revolted by us and proclaims us unfit for the womanhood only she claims proud ownership of. Mystic, how do you live in a world of such bestiality?

What makes Evi speak so unkindly about 99% of “all the women in this world”? And is Evi one of us, or is she part of Mystic’s superior 1%?

Maybe her mind is tainted by her preference for the adorable little brother…

"When I look around everyday at work I think 'Wow, what if tomorrow, I don’t know… Josh Holloway was killed off the show? That would mean I’m no longer working and living and breathing with Josh Holloway the way I do so often on the show.'"

…over the arrogant big brother:

-from a radio interview on Australia's 104.1 the week of July 25th, transcribed by Shortcake

EL: There is always that uncertainty, but I think there has been a change in some peoples' attitudes where they are like,'I think I'm here for the long run, and the story is kind of going in my direction.'

HB: Is Matthew Fox sort of going 'As if they are going to get rid of me...'
EL: With his balls out going 'Here I am and I'm not going anywhere.' Yeah, he kinda does that all the time.

Or maybe it’s just that the storyline Evi is desperate for is this one:

"… my hope right now, I desperately want, I want Kate to be pregnant"

She explains how this storyline is so fundamental to the story, how it goes back to Rousseau, how it is one of the seeds planted in the mythology that is starting to bear fruit now…And of course it means she’d be able to work and live and breathe with Josh Holloway in a story that would show Sawyer, who can’t stand to see a child harmed, forced to confront the reality that both his child and the only woman he’s ever loved will be placed in dire peril. Sounds hot. And deep. And like something those 99% of women in the world will swoon over.

But, nah. That’s misquoting, misinterpreting and misleading. Correspondent Mystic knows the real reason Evi wants Kate to be pregnant:

In all honesty I think the pregnancy/belly thing has more to do with the fact that Evi is a week shy of 28. As someone who is 28 I can tell you that the biological clock is hammering and knowing full well I will be mocked I can tell you just last week I contemplated putting a basketball under my shirt. It’s curiosity…

I can dig that. I used to feel that way also…when I was eight! Mystic, honey, let me tell you something you really should understand, if you’re going to be speaking for all us WOMEN. Babies and basketballs? Two very different things. The baby doesn’t bounce too well and if you get a basketball stuck up there, you are going to need some serious surgical intervention.

But Mystic is nothing if not sure of herself. Even though some of us, at age 28, were already experienced enough to have "babies" big enough to be shooting baskets, we need to bow down before her greater genius. It's not experience that matters in life, after all, it's sanctimonious self serving arrogance!

Face it, we're pathetic, repulsive pig porn lovers. We know that when Evi spoke of how "beautifully" Kate was written in the miniarc, she really meant it was disgusting. We know when she says the triangle is a horror show, she really means Jate is Fate. We know that a story about a man who bellows at a woman, abandons her in handcuffs, refuses to accept her apology and gives her a cold shoulder is the essence of feminist romance. After all, Correspondent Mystic concludes:

Eventually they had to secede that Jack and Kate's scenes were the heart of the season and they did it with a grumble followed by silence.

Secede? As in break away? We thought at first she might have meant "concede" but since we would never do something as ridiculous as that...especially not SILENTLY (who, us? Silent? LMAO!)...she must have meant SECEDE. And indeed we did, Mystic. You're right again! We seceded all the way over here, where you will shortly be reading this, fuming and shrieking and marshalling your geriatric male shippers and crazy babelfish WOMEN on the Couch to hate us some more. I'm glad you all at least got to read the real quotes and hear the real interviews. I know Jaters miss out on that most of the time. And I'm also proud of the Fuse MODS for laying some *MOD EDIT* smackdown on your vitriol and hatred. Guess they just don't understand that's how real WOMEN who sit on HIGH HORSES like to express themselves sometimes.

But let's be friends. We can at least agree on this one line from your bashfest:

They can continue with the Skate storyline, I don't care, but give it to me in a way where I can look Kate in the face and understand, not in the way where I'm embarrassed to be her fan.

To that I can only say - Amen, Sista WOMAN! Bring it on!

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