Friday, October 17, 2008

ATTACK OF THE STALKER GEESE




It was brought to our attention on the Fishelage this morning that a good friend of ours -the perpetually angry FLYER61055 who also posts at SpoilerTV as the passive aggressive poster child, KATIEB - was having a little bit of a meltdown at an emergency meeting of the Society of Matthew Foxy's Matrons:

A Message for My Stalker Geese

Dear stalker geese,

I was not banned from the Fuselage, I asked Karri nicely to please delete my account without giving a reason or explanation, just a kind please and thank you for your trouble and the "ZOMG you are banned for life" was the response I got because they are drama queens at the Fuselage. As much as I would love to be as big of a loser as you are and spend all my time hating a fictional character as well as the actor that portrays the character and wasting the rest of my time obessing over what a bunch of losers like yourselves have to say I'm afraid I will just never be able to match any of you on the loser scale.

The only time I read your babbling nonsense is when someone pollutes my board with it. You know that private forum that you can't get to and it pisses you off because you're just sure we're spending all of our time trashing Sawyer or Josh Holloway. I can assure you that Sawyer and Josh are never brought up. We tend to spend our time discussing the characters we find interesting and Sawyer stopped being interesting about 3/4 of the way through season 1. As much as I'd love to hate Kate as you say I do, I can't exert that much energy into caring about her one way or another and I don't think I've ever wanted JATE to win, win, win. Win what? For the last time you silly geese, I am a Jack fan...............PERIOD. I don't care which woman warms his sheets and truth be told, ask anyone who really knows me, I do prefer Juliet over Kate, but I don't let Jack's relationships influence my enjoyment of the show.

I realize that after years of honking mercilessly and believing your nonstop babbling and being constant agitators would actually influence the direction the show would take only to finally have to accept that MF is the star of the show and isn't going anywhere must've been difficult for you, but honestly, do you really have nothing better to do with your time then hate on people? It's so pathetic.

I will say that I do hate every nasty and vile thing you represent and enjoy every bit of misery the show bestows upon you, because you do deserve it, but I don't seek out and read the nonsense you post on public forums and I don't have a membership to FBL (Frightening Babbling Lunatics). If I did, I'd post this message to you there, but being anywhere near FBL makes me feel very dirty and in need of a shower so I stay very far away.

I do often wonder how people spend their days being so awful and miserable. I think that would be exhausting and I can't imagine why you continue to tune into a show that you hate so much. Was Sawyer's hour of screentime last season really worth the obvious misery you seemed to be in? Is Sawyer's hour of screentime worth more of the same misery? Wouldn't it be easier to just wait for the DVDs and FF through the actual show, which is what most of you seem to do anyway.

I'm really not an interesting person and am certainly not worth the time you spend discussing me. How big of a loser does one have to be to have nothing better to talk about than me?




OUCH!


I think it was really sweet of the Flying Katie B to send us all a letter and I can partly see her point, especially the part about not being so interesting. She does sound like a really mediocre overaged fangirl addicted to a really bland middle aged actor. Still I can't help but have a few questions.

1. If she wasn't BANNED from the Fuselage, why was she ZOMG BANNED? For being so polite to Karri? And why did she ask to be removed? Couldn't she just, like, quit posting there? What? She couldn't control herself unless they removed her name from their rolls?

2. She thinks it's pathetic to hate on people, but she does "hate every nasty and vile thing you represent"...So...um...she finds herself pathetic then? 

3. If she doesn't pollute her beautiful mind with geese droppings, why did she pour out that frantic screed less than two hours after these posts on the Fishelage (most of which she has copied verbatim):

Since getting banned at the Fuse, I guess Flyer/Katieb has decided to fight with DarkUFO instead. What a loser.

I think she
hates Kate but hates Skaters even more. She wants Jate to Win Win Win, not because she enjoys them, but because she desperately needs to have the "geese" lose. Same with Claudia. They're both obsessed with geese it seems, maybe even more than they are with Lost.

I'm sorry Flyer feels so frightened by us, but maybe one of her genius buddies can explain to her that this is the internets...we're all virtual peoples here and there's no meanie Geese hiding under her bed. Personally I'd be more nervous hanging around with the kind of looney old kook who has homicidal fantasies like this one (from  the most pretentiously grandiloquent of them all, The Sacrifice the Island Demanded):



I want to marry this post. No, I want to copy it 1,000 times, and enter into polygamous marriage with every one of them so I could have them all in one glorious goose-killing harem of joyful sanity. No wait, I would keep one out, then take it to a laboratory, and pay a scientist to distill it down to its essence, bottle it in a spray, carry the spray in my purse like mace, and spray it in the face of every one of the fucking daddy-hating, emotionally stunted, sex-starved, double-digit IQ, basement-dwelling morons you are discussing in your post.

Come on Katie B! With a Frightening Babbling Lunatic like that as your friend, you're honestly afraid of ...
GEESE?



We're not buying it. We know you're just jealous. We're flattered that our good opinion means so very, very much to you and it's easy to see why that is. We actually get to have fun and we don't have to hide out in stinky old hidey holes. We don't even mind that you stalk us and hang on our every word. But you don't need to be hating on us, Katie girl. Come on up. Don't crawl around in hidey holes. Fly out in the open like a Goose! The air's much sweeter at our altitude. 


33 comments:

Maryann said...

LOL Fish, what can I say... I love geese :D

And who posted that geese hating post..don't let that poster near ANY geese, seesh.

OutraJess said...

That poor goose with the arrow in it =[

Great post by the way :D Although that "Sacrifice" poster is seriously scary. I hope I never meet a Jater in real life.

Anonymous said...

HONK!!!

-iamme

Kris said...

Haha, sarcasm pawns stupidity every time. Great post as always, Fish!

But this blog of Flyer... Where can I find it? It seems to be a really, really entertaining place to hang out on. :D

Anonymous said...

Ah, Flyer, she was just begging to get fishbiscuited with that open letter to us geeses. I think you must have made her day, Fish.

Darbi,

Anonymous said...

Pawned! Some of Flyer's LJ 'friends' have some strange hobbies as well. Bella_Fox has a sexual fantasy about Jack’s nose other twisted souls seem to share:

http://bella-fox.livejournal.com/14118.html

Not to mention a questionable talent for writing pornographic ditties to cheer up her Skate hating friends:

http://bella-fox.livejournal.com/7665.html

These are the same holier than thou members of the Moral Majority sitting in judgment over on that lumpy sofa. Skaters are nasty? Please!

A bit of bragging goin’ on there too. Our Fuse buddy Halfrek should enjoy this comment:

By the way, I called Harold Perrineau a "whiny bitch" and an "ungracious ass" over at the Fuse and got ANOTHER two infractions (one for each comment) plus twenty points. Also, one of mysticxf's latest brilliant icons got me another ten points and the loss of my avatar privileges for about a month. Bwahahaaha! I totally take the blame for even trying to get away with that one there, but the points for being honest about HP kills me.

Have I mentioned that Halfrek is my nemesis? I'm apparently going for a record of most infractions ever on the Fuse, and she's the one that has given me 90% of them.


Yet butter don’t melt in their mouths as they kiss Halfrek’s ass in public. Pawned!

Anonymous said...

Forgot the poetry link:

http://bella-fox.livejournal.com/7665.html

Warning: Rated: NASTY

Anonymous said...

How did DarkUFO ever let that nasty bird Bella become a mod at Spoiler TV? She's not only mean as a snake, she's dumber than a sack of hammers. By letting her mod that board, they doomed it to being another narrow minded board that got boring within the first few months. When will these board owners learn that everything Jaters touch turns to dust?

Anonymous said...

Ha! This is so great. I see Flyer is in the house already. She posted this today: LOL, I like the idea of spray because they are very similar to roaches in the way that they crawl into every forum available and infest it with their garbage and they are evey bit as disgusting as roaches.

Got that, geese? Flyer doesn't think you should be able to post on internet forums because you're nothing but BUGS! Why do I get the impression this creep is a rightwing fascist? No way people should be able to have free speech unless they agree with Flyer that Jack Shepard is God's gift to humanity. These types are so UGH.

Anonymous said...

Honestly? They need help. They get this angry over some shippers. And Sacrifice, I LOVE my daddy. And maybe you should get yourself some sex. Perhaps you could release all that frustration you seem to have towards some virtual people.

Anonymous said...

I do believe that it is the Jaters who infiltrate every forum and drag it down into the ground. Their incessant hitting of the report button whenever they read something in places that they shouldn't be in the first place cause the mods grief and everyone ends up being censored.

And they are a nasty bunch aren't they. Between creaming themselves over anime porn and now I read this lovely little poem that Bella penned. Some of them are just downright disgusting. And bitter.

Siss said...

Haha, great post, Fish! Where can I find this Famous Blog of Flyer? I'd love to check it out and have my self one hell of a laugh. :D

Anonymous said...

Since Flyer thinks she's being stalked, maybe all the stalker geese should pay her a visit.

http://flyer61055.livejournal.com/13448.html

I'm sure she'll be delighted to have us. :D

Anonymous said...

"I will just never be able to match any of you on the loser scale."

How true that is Flyer, we'd never manage to tie on the same scale. It is your specialty after all and you've even outdone yourself this time around. I'd nominate you for Loser LJ entry of the year, no problem!

"I'm really not an interesting person and am certainly not worth the time you spend discussing me."

Ah Flyer, don't put yourself down so much! Your antics are so worth the laugh, believe me... ;)

~ Midnight, one of the proud geese from FBL, Fishbiscuiteers Bettering Losers everyday

Anonymous said...

Ewww... Flyer should know that harbouring that much hate gets you an open stomach ulcer faster than any oа those bacteria.

Pour girl. She must constantly have a shitty taste in her mouth.
(doctors say it's a psychosomatic consequence of hating as well)

Sassynails

LostTvFan said...

Don't you just love seeing that sanctimonious twit outted? The entire Jate fandom is like a group of televangelists; preaching the moral high ground from their public pulpits and wallowing in filth in their private ones. Who knew the same squeaky clean ladies who called the cage sex pig porn were having kinky erotic dreams of sitting naked on Foxy’s manly nose? Is that the ELCB they’ve been dying over for four years? ROTFLMAO. You can't put a price on this kind of funny Fish!

Anonymous said...

I don't mean to generalize because I know there are many sane ones out there but...the Jack fanatics at DARK'S site are outright scary, irritating, mean spirited, and constantly bitching out anyone who dares to say something about their "sex god" that they dislike. I know many people are really sick and tired of them all...and this chick takes the cake. Just read any of her posts.

Hamburgo1001 said...

"I will just never be able to match any of you on the loser scale."

You know Flyer, I actually have to agree with you for once. You will never find a Skater who posts sex pictures of their Kate and Sawyer dolls on the internet like you did with your Jack and Kate dolls just a couple of years ago. Nobody could ever top that level of pitifulness.

SockeRock said...

I have to admit I avoid katieb's posts like the plague, as well as anything a Jater/Jack fan has to say.

I had my fill during Lost's finale when they tried to make out Sawyer jumping out of the helicopter was a selfish act and declared that because Jack was a fictional character you couldn't bash him and whatever wrong thing he does proves he's a flawed hero.

And being a meanie I just have to say this, MF doesn't impress me as an actor.

Anonymous said...

I stopped going to Dark's forums with any regularity because KatieB's posts were so numerous and vile. If you criticize Jack--a fictional character--be prepared for personal attacks that include lots of ridiculous assumptions. It's creepy.

Her rant here is just remarkable. However, some of the language, especially the persistent use of "loser," suggests she's young--high school maybe (which is also the impression I got from her posts at Dark's site).

Truth is, I kind of feel sorry for her getting piled on like this (especially if she is just a kid), but I suppose she brought it on herself.

Anonymous said...

No, she's not young. She's in her late 40s.

Anonymous said...

Really. In her 40s? She needs to get a grip. Why would anyone let a bunch of anonymous people on the internet aggravate them so much?

Anonymous said...

I also automatically assumed she was a teenager. Who else would use "loser" as an insult and so continuously?

I tend to stay away from the comment box whenever the post has anything to do with Jack (At Dark's site). That's when the Jack fanatics come out to irritate the hell out of everyone with their frightening obsession.

Anonymous said...

Flyer and Sacrifice,
In all seriousness, please, PLEASE seek mental health counseling. It's just not normal to carry around this much hatred and animosity towards unseen people on the internet just because they prefer a different romantic, FICTIONAL pairing than you do. I know that Skaters can be sarcastic and mocking, but the two of you (and I suspect there are more of you) are actually taking all this shipper stuff seriously. It's a TV show for crying out loud. Get a life, get a grip...and get help. Jack and Kate are not real people.

Anonymous said...

No wait, I would keep one out, then take it to a laboratory, and pay a scientist to distill it down to its essence, bottle it in a spray, carry the spray in my purse like mace, and spray it in the face of every one of the fucking daddy-hating, emotionally stunted, sex-starved, double-digit IQ, basement-dwelling morons you are discussing in your post.

Daddy hating? Where did that come from? As for double digit IQ's, with that choice of language, I think we can assume this poster didn't have the benefit of a classical education, has a single digit vocabulary and displays no class at all.

Anonymous said...

This was an eye opener for me. I had no idea that flyer and katieb was the same person. I don't go to a lot of forums, but I do spend time at DarkUFO and have noticed that Jack/Jater fans have become a predominant force there. It's so annoying. I don't go to the Forum there, but I do hit the comments in various other sections. It constantly amazes me that no matter how well thought out a post is, if there is anything that suggests Jack is less than the stellar hero, it is met with accusations of Jack hate and Jack bashing. In the character cup, if you didn’t vote for Jack, you were a Jack hater who would vote for anyone over Jack. It couldn’t possibly be because you liked the other character more. (Thank goodness Jack fans scoured the boards and were able to find enough Jack fans/Jaters to get him to second place. Whew!) If the reverse suggestion is ever made (Sawyer/Josh bashing), it is sloughed off since Jack fans are always above such things over at Dark. Only Sawyer/Skaters are capable such pettiness. It's very one sided over there. Even those that claim objectivity, jump on the Jack bandwagon. The hypocrisy never ceases to amaze me.

Isabelle said...

The whole thing is just pathetic, Congrats Fish. You pwned!!!! :) 9as usual hehe)

I never heard of flyer cos i don't go to the fuse, but i do know katieb from darkufo's blog and forum. She is very aggressive and does seem to hate every one that doesnt think jack is a god. Omg, how dare people not hero worship him, even when he is getting high and pissed while looking after a toddler. i remember having a debate with her once. She actually suggested that kate deserved the whole thing in SNBH.

slightly OT: just read bella's poem. WTF? And they say that we watch imaginary lost *rolls eyes*

Fantastic post again fish!

Hamburgo1001 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hamburgo1001 said...

She actually suggested that kate deserved the whole thing in SNBH.

That doesn't surprise me. According to Jack-obsessed people like Flyer or Claudia Kate has it coming because she treats Jack like shit although she pretty much kisses his ass 24/7 and let's him get away with everything he does. Maybe I only missed the scenes where Kate leaves Jack behind in the hands of murderers because he had sex with another woman, yells at him (it took Kate until the season 4 finale to do so), makes him cry, throws accusations and insults in his face, cold shoulders him or stalks him after a break up though.

Anonymous said...

In general, I don't like this shipper war. Both jaters and skaters have extreme members who take it all personally and are extremely annoying.

I'm much more of a Sawyer fan that I am a Jack fan and I wish Jack wasn't at the center of the show. I'm also more skater than Jater, but I feel that the skaters over at the TWOP boards who tried to make Jack out to be an abuser also exhibited "extremist" behaviour.

If one of these extreme fans from either side is banned from the Lost Community, I say good riddance.

Anonymous said...

This is ridiculous. You are cyber-stalking a real person. Bash Jack, Kate, Jate all you want but leave the fans alone. Talk about having a disconnect with reality. It's people like you guys who ruin Lost watching for everyone.

Anonymous said...

It's people like you guys who ruin Lost watching for everyone.

For EVERYONE? Are you totally sure? I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that approximately 99.99999999% of all Lost fans never read this entry nor would they understand it if they did.This is just some fun intra-fan warfare, the kind all vintage fanbases develop. Flyer/KatieB is a famous Lost Fandom Ass. This is a great entry, slays an appropriate dragon. Good job!

LostTvFan said...

"I'm much more of a Sawyer fan that I am a Jack fan and I wish Jack wasn't at the center of the show. I'm also more skater than Jater, but I feel that the skaters over at the TWOP boards who tried to make Jack out to be an abuser also exhibited "extremist" behaviour."

As the "extremist" who wrote the 'Is Jack an Abuser?' post I would like to know what you found so extreme about it? Jack's behavior IMO borders on abusive; both with Sarah and Kate. Jack's abuse has not reached the point where he has physically harmed anyone, but abuse takes many forms and the abuser doesn't have to pour gas on the victim and set her on fire to be a text book abuser.

Drunk and high on pills Jack was probably only a few seconds from hitting Kate when Aaron appeared. That's my idea of 'extreme' and my idea of someone with abusive tendencies.