Wednesday, November 28, 2007


We were all sooooooooo bored.

Mobi-snores. No spoilers. No sightings. No DVD party. No promos. No gossip. Nada...It almost looked like we were about to hit that wall we'd been seeing in the distance all hiatus long...But never fear! We are without a doubt the luckiest fans in the history of fanaticism. Because we have what no other fangroup has ever had. We have JATERS!!!

Our own personal little bubble fountain of kookitude, Forever_Erica, probably thought nothing of it when she decided to bring over a brand new Phony Quote to the Couch. Now that's not exactly out of place on the Couch, as we well know. They love phony made up shit. Without phony made up shit, there wouldn’t even be a Couch. They’ve got a phony made up harlequin romance that they pretend is the primary focus of Lost.

They’ve got their very own phony made up spoiler source.

"Secondly, Bansh has stated before that the NYC street quote came from the Oracle who said it was in the Lost Bible. So, apparently it wasn't directly from JJ in an interview, but it is a real quote. Or, at least, thats evidence enough for me."

They’ve got phony made up pictures.

So, what’s wrong with phony made up quotes? Like this one:
"When it comes to Jack, he doesn't treat Kate like a sextoy, he treats her as his equal, and ultimately, that's what will bring Kate to her knees about Jack." – Damon Lindelof

A quote that seems not to have originated with Damon Lindelof at all, but with some Brazilian Jater who jumped ship long ago, shortly after posting this oddly familiar bit of Jater Jibberish:
"Jack, obviously interested, treats her as a peer, not a sex toy. That will bring you to your knees, if you're Kate. It makes you evaluate some things in yourself." - FoxyFan, RIP

Now to their GREAT credit, the mods did ask the Devout Dingbat to take a break from her gloating and bashing to source her wonderful new quote. It's a simple thing to ask, and the Evangelical Go Go Girl could have chosen the dignified way out. But she chose instead to show her

"Yeah, I love that quote too. It really makes you understand CLEARLY what Damon thinks about the Skate relationship in comparison to the Jate epic creation. I agree with him wholeheartedly. And you're right, he's been there from the beginning, he and JJ sat down and created this great love story, and he's going to direct us to that ultimate conclusion..."

And given a chance to back down gracefully, she chose again to show even more

"Now, I have searched for a link and haven't been able to retrive one. I believe that the quote is true. Every single word of it. What's depicted on the show shows that its message is true. But I am a bit iffy on if our Head Writer/Jater said it or not (I believe that he did, based on what my fellow Jater posted), but it doesn't take away from the truth of the statement IMHO....I believe the quote. I don't believe that it was fabricated, but as Lovey mentioned, people make up things online all the time. The quote stays and the truth of its message is not tarnished in my view."

until really she left the mods no way out but this:

"F_E you do realize this is not acceptable. just b/c you like it and "trust" the person who posted it does not make it true. you are basically taking some words and attributing them to one of our VIPs just to support your ship. this is wrong on many levels and while it is not exactly covered in our rules here, you are walking on the wrong side of things. ..if you cannot produce the exact quote, then you need to remove it. or at least remove Damon's name from it as it is clear that he didn't say it. i have had several people link me to various sites and posts on other forums showing variations of the "quote" in your siggy. this leads me to believe that you did in fact just make the whole thing up. seriously, don't you think your ship would be better supported by an actual quote complete with cited source? you just make you and your ship look bad by such an action."

Her friends rushed to her defense with typically brilliant, logically air tight arguments.
"They both make quotes about both couples all the time. I can see Damon saying that about Jate, however, he's also said some nice things about Kate and Sawyer also. I don't think it's impossible to think he would say something like that about Jate. He writes their story so he knows better than anyone."

Just think. If you were a defendant, wouldn't you KILL to have one of these people as the prosecuting attorney? "The guy is guilty. I don't think that's so hard to believe, is it? Lots of people are guilty. No, I don't have any evidence or proof. I just know he's guilty. What's the big deal?"

You’d think if Jate was so Fated, if it they were so
"central in the story,they're the end game,they're the core&soul of the show,they're each others salvation,they're the black&white,the Adam&the Eve,the human face of the LOST mythology,they love each other and have had the hardest journey"

it wouldn’t be necessary to constantly make shit up, would it? But then again, when you’ve invested yourself in the CERTITUDE of an ultra whacky, unpredictable tv show that you have absolutely no control over, maybe this really is the best way to go about things.

But maybe we’re the ones who are approaching this incorrectly, trying to read through the tealeaves with an honest eye.What's really wrong with slapping random names on random quotes and then wetting our panties over them? It's all for fun,isn't it? Maybe we need to be PLAYING a little bit more. So let’s give it a whirl, shall we? Let's play a new game -


Here are three quotes that Jaters love to fling around. So far as I know not one of these quotes can be sourced back to anyplace resembling the reality-based universe. In fact these quotes seem so absurd and outlandish that it seems they can only have originated in the squirrel brain of a Jater. However, since we can’t PROVE they’re not true (neat trick that), let’s give our friends one last chance to redeem themselves.

Phony Quote 1: "On the other hand, Jack and Kate are a classical and romantic couple.They are amazed by each other, and as the time runs, they start to depend of each other,care about each other, the connection between them is getting stronger this season. There is always something, someone in their way. That makes the audience support them all the time" – Damon Lindelof

Phony Quote 2: "When it comes to Jack, he doesn't treat Kate like a sextoy, he treats her as his equal, and ultimately, that's what will bring Kate to her knees about Jack." – Damon Lindelof

Phony Quote 3: "You could put, Jack and Kate on a, NYC street, and have them pass each other, at rush hour, on a Wednesday morning. And, they would stop, and turn, slowing to watch each other go by. They know each other within the context, of a universal recognition. They have met before, this life. And, they will meet again, in another." - J. J. Abrams

For this game only we're offering a GRAND PRIZE: To anyone who can provide either scans or links to original source materials for all three of these quotes, we hereby offer to turn over this Journal to whatever you would like to post here – fake quotes, ugly manips, naked Foxy pictures, odes to Jainy Jex...completely unaltered, uncensored, just the way you want it.


These are frequent Jater sigs and slogans where the ending of the quote has mysteriously disappeared. See if you can match up beginnings with endings:

1. Evangeline Lilly: “If I were to go with the storyline, and if I were to go with what I think is gonna work for the story…it's gotta be Jack,but...”
2. Damon Lindelof: "And concerning the relationship between these two people, I believe that Jack is attracted to Kate, but..."
3. Damon Lindelof: "Jack is the guy she should be with. She does genuinely love him and she knows that he would take excellent care of her but..."
4. Javi :(Responding to question:Is it over for Sawyer and Kate?) "It's over...."

A...."Sawyer is the guy that she's really drawn to. He is a model of a guy she's been with before. He likes being the bad boy, he wants everybody to hate him. He's Han Solo, he's Captain Jack Sparrow and probably does not truly treat her the way she wants to be treated but at the same time that makes him sort of mysterious and sexy."
B...."Just like Ross and Rachel were over. And Dave and Maddie were over. And Han and Leia were over. And Rick and Ilsa were over. And Antony and Cleopatra were over."
C. ..."but if I were to go with what's gonna work for like 99% of the women in this world, at this point it's Sawyer. They're lovin' Sawyer right now."
D. ..."but he knows deep down that she'll never be what he needs, that she'll never play the part, and that all things considered, she's much more attracted to someone like Sawyer." --


1. "I don't even consider the Sawyer element as a reality."

2. (Responding to the comment:He’s actually coming into the man he can be because of his love for Kate.)"I think it’s beautiful and so endearing. I feel like, unfortunately, it’s my job to play Kate one way, but I feel like, “Awww Kate! Can’t you see how much he is trying and what he needs from you?”

3. "...Cool ideas, and it’s a pity that they’re never gonna be part of the show, because our mothers wouldn’t care. At the risk of making this a running gag - but my mother will ask: Alvar who? I want to know when Kate and Sawyer are finally going to kiss!"

4."When she is around Sawyer, suddenly who she is doesn't have to be hidden and I think she's less ashamed of it. I think she is more able to say, "This is who I am. Take it or leave it,buddy!'' That's a real gift. In real life, usually the people we feel the most in love with and attracted to are the people that allow us to be ourselves- faults and all."

5. "One of my favorite things has been the development of Sawyer's relationship with Kate, which has been such a cat-and-mouse thing. I'm a man and I love to work with a woman. I love the energy between men and women and I try to play with that."

6. "Yeah, they (Sawyer & Kate) did it, they've got an amazing thing. They are so much fun to watch."

7. "Jack is like someone she almost idolizes and that, to me, is not the kind of relationship I'd want to be in. I don't know about you, but I don't wanna worship the guy that I'm with."

8."The fact that she cared enough about this cowboy that drove her crazy to get back in that cage was incredbly significant. And I was sitting there reading and I was like "Yeah!"

9. "It was great. I mean you think about it, you know, in a show, in a television show, to basically go fifty-five hours before these two characters who are in love with each other actually finally culminate and, you know, make love. And I think it's really amazing, and I think it was all the better for that. And I think just as a starting point to that relationship, and you know, really kind of deepening and existing on a different level, it was really a great scene. "

A. Evangeline Lilly
B. Matthew Fox
C. Damon Lindelof
D. Evangeline Lilly
E. Evangeline Lilly
F. Carlton Cuse
G. Evangeline Lilly
H. Josh Holloway
I. Elizabeth Mitchell

Bonus Point: Guess whether Evangeline Lilly is a Skater or Jater.


1. "I respect Matthew very much as an actor, but Josh and I have gotten to a point, especially this past season, where we have such a comfort level with each other, such a sense of intimacy. I can't imagine doing love scenes with anyone other than him." - Evangeline Lilly

2. RS: Season 3 was the Season of Romance, but what will that make Season 4? Romance free?
DL: [laughs] I wouldn't say romance free. There are definitely some relationships waiting to be explored, and what's fun is that we have so many different romances in different stages of development. You have Sun and Jin who are clearly, um... they're the established married couple dealing with a pregnancy, and all the danger that entails on the island. Then we have Sawyer and Kate who are just moving into a new phase of their relationship where the stakes are so much higher, and that of course scares the hell out of both of them. And then there's also Jack and Juliet, who are sort of this new, tentative romance that's just starting out, and there should be lots to explore there, so that's really fun. I would say romance won't be so much the focus of Season 4, but I don't think people will be disappointed.

3. "You know, again in contrast to the flashbacks, where she's got this man who is doing the exact opposite. He's, you know, really really heartfelt and intense and intimate about the way he will look her in the eye and say, 'I love you Monica.' And it's just really sort of what you imagine the traditional idea of falling in love with someone being like. And then here on the island she's got, you know, a guy who's kind of throwing it out there flippantly while she's not even looking at him, and it seems to mean so much more. " - Evangeline Lilly

4. "People do root for Sawyer, and I think that's one of the great things about the character. The audience loves him as a smart-ass and a loner, but they also want him to open up and experience love and have the types of good things he's always avoided and, you know, sort of shunned. You see this guy falling in love and you want him to somehow make it work and stop being such an ass." - Carlton Cuse

See how easy this can be? Now you try it. We'll start!


"Recent studies indicate that penis size plays no significant role in the amount of sexual pleasure a woman receives. In my mind, this is a slam dunk." - Matthew Fox

Let's see what you all can come up with. You can even put it in your sig at the fishelage, like Cactus.

"Forever_Erica? That bitch is crazy." - Damon Lindelof

Speaking of CACTUS, we really owe our reincarnated Borscht Belt comedian a prize of some kind. For being the first to get the balls rolling by discovering this hilarious nugget of mendacity, we'd like to award a nice manly dish of

For JESSICA1984, and her intrepid journey into the heart of hilarity to bring this unwelcome bit of clarification to the Couch Potatoes:
"This was simply a quote from a Jater, nothing more nothing less. It could not be from an interview earlier in the year because it was dated froom 2006. It really isn't right to use Damon's name to enhance a quote made by a fan, but that's just my opinion. "

We award COOKIES!

For LYLY FORD!!!!, a genius super sleuth of the highest order, no award even seems worthy. Somehow this girl with a supercomputer for a brain managed to recall and locate the obscure quote from an obscure, vanished poster, made over a year ago, and turned the key that let all the marbles loose. So since one award won't do, we offer LYLY FORD!!! a whole pinata's worth:

And then there's HALFREK...Ahem. Now, we have been hard on Halfrek. But credit where credit is due.
that is great. you believe. getting snippy with mods? not such a good idea.

whether or not her siggy was reported is none of your business. what is important here is that the quote appears to be from one of our VIPs. if it is inaccurately attributed to them, then it must be corrected. we will not tolerate others slapping a name on something if the VIP did not say it.

yes, it is a big deal that it was claimed to have come from Damon. we protect our VIPs here and allowing someone to use their name to further their ship is just not acceptable.

Just for this one line alone, we feel like giving her smoochies:
that is great. you believe.

You go, girlfriend!

We can't really smooch you, Halfrek, and...uh, don't worry, we don't really want to. But we DO want to give you an Award. Do you like Chocolate? How about some really delicious Belgian chocolate in the shape of a beautiful FISH? Here you go, Halfrek. It's my pleasure.

And last, but not least, we need to thank the most important people of all, the ones who have made this endless hiatus so eminently entertaining. We don't know what we could possibly have done without you wonderful people and your Couch that is without a doubt, the ULTIMATE gift that keeps on giving.

"There has never been a more reliable, more prolific source of comedy in the history of online fandoms than the Jate shippers of ABC's Lost." - Me.

1 comment:

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hahahahha what a funny photo of the monkey, it seems to be like an ass who has fall in love, or something like that...