Thursday, August 13, 2009

Foxee, the Redneck Fratboy...





Matthew the red-nosed actor
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows.



All of the other Losties
Used to roll their eyes in shame
They never let him coax them
Into any drinking games.



Then one August Oregon eve,
Rednecks came to say
Foxee with your nose so bright
Won't you party here tonight?



See how the rednecks loved him
as they shouted out with glee
Foxee, the red-nosed actor
You'll go down in infamy!

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

That man is nothing short of repulsive.

Anonymous said...

Isn't this guy like 45 years old already? WTF?

Anonymous said...

Douche!

bluefish said...

LOL Hilarious

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure which is more sad. This disgusting, aged frat boy behaving in such a way, or the sad, repressed women who would lick his heels.

The morons at the Fuselage get funnier every day, with their "Jack Show" awards bullshit. And this is how their "hero" repays them.

Pathetic.

Anonymous said...

Fox is a douche - always has been, always will.

Funny post, Fish! Thumbs up.

Anonymous said...

MF you did it again. Lol he's ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

He's in Oregon partying and his wife is.....where? What a piece of work. For the real deal check out Josh Holloway spending the hiatus with his wife and new daughter.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious, Fish!

I bet he parties in places like middle-of-nowhere Oregon thinking that it's a safe place to get wasted and pick up girls without anyone ever finding out about it. Guess he forgot that even rednecks have camera phones now.

Anonymous said...

"For the real deal check out Josh Holloway spending the hiatus with his wife and new daughter."

Here's a heaping side of WORD to go with this.

Anonymous said...

why is everyone hatin'? he's just having a good time. i was doing the same thing last night. Drink up Foxy, i'll party with ya next time!

Anonymous said...

It's not that he's having a good time. It's that he's having a good time with a girl who is young enough to be his daughter when he has a wife and family. Hang it up, Matt. It's time to put the hard-partying behind you and pony up to parenthood.

Anonymous said...

Foxy has the dumbest fans, doesn't he? That picture of him flipping the bird- I saw one of his craziest fans (katieb from darkufo) say that she loved how he holds hands with his wife! They really don't get it. The guy's a prick and a dirtbag, who drinks like a fish and scrwes around on his wife. How hard is that to understand?

Anonymous said...

Seems to me Matthew Fox fans fall into two categories - the icky sexually frustrated mammys who don't care what he does as long as they get to imagine him doing it to them, and the dumb as rocks tweenies who think getting drunk and making an ass of yourself is a dream come true.

Anonymous said...

What I want to know is - what's his Hooter buddy trying to cover up with his hand? And is Foxee's red nose only the result of drinking?

Anonymous said...

His nose is probably just sunburned from his wholesome day teaching his son how to white water raft.

Or not.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he's teaching his son how to be a drunk, sort of like how he was teaching him about being a rude asshole in that last picture.

Anonymous said...

Do all of you realize that Jack and Matthew Fox are NOT the same person. Nor is Sawyer and Josh Holloway. You people are pathetic.

Anonymous said...

Um,who was saying that this is Jack Shepherd? Everyone here seems perfectly well aware that the man partying in Oregon is Matthew Fox, the actor, not Jack Shepherd, the character.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I don't think there's any doubt on this issue. The overaged asshole in the cheap motel partying on the bed with the chick young enough to be his daughter...definitely NOT Jack Shepard. That would be ALL Matthew Fox, grade-A douchebag par excellence.

Anonymous said...

What's the point of being a big ass tv star if you come off about as cool as Homer Simpson when you go off on a bender? Look at this sleazebag! How can anyone with eyes think he is hot????

Anonymous said...

i find neither matthew fox nor josh holloway attractive, so i don't get this whole 'rivalry' thing you guys got going on, but seriously... why is this an issue? i get that he has a wife and a kid, but should he have to hide away at home for the rest of his life lest the fine detectives here start accusing him of being an alcoholic adulterer? he's drinking... and the problem is? there's a woman there with him who is not his wife... again, where's the issue? who are you to say he wasn't there for an hour before going home and spending the rest of the night with his family? honestly, it's beyond me how some people think. i'd love to see how lovely some of you people would look if people studied your lives as closely as his.

Kyle from Kentucky said...

I guess I like Jack better than Matty.....which is saying something.

Anonymous said...

he's drinking... and the problem is? there's a woman there with him who is not his wife... again, where's the issue?

Ha! Are you serious? Do you think middle aged tv stars want to have their pictures taken bouncing on a bed like a horndog in a sorority house? He had to be so drunk he didn't know better, and no, that's not normal for a grown man to get that drunk.

Do you think wives wouldn't have an issue with their 43 year old husband bopping around with a young chick on a bed clearly drunk out of his gourd?

How juvenile do you have to be to not see why this is a big issue for a middle aged husband and father?

Anonymous said...

okay...

"Ha! Are you serious? Do you think middle aged tv stars want to have their pictures taken bouncing on a bed like a horndog in a sorority house? He had to be so drunk he didn't know better, and no, that's not normal for a grown man to get that drunk."

firstly yes, i am serious. i don't think you were there, so you can't tell me how drunk he was. i doubt you were in the room as he "bounced on a bed like a horndog" either. if you weren't there, and you're basing your entire assumption on the pictures shown, what you're doing is called speculating. you can speculate until the cows come home about what may or may not have happened in that room, but those pictures show happy (and quite possibly drunk) people doing nothing wrong.

"Do you think wives wouldn't have an issue with their 43 year old husband bopping around with a young chick on a bed clearly drunk out of his gourd?"

my husband can get as drunk as he wishes and "bop" on whatever he likes as long as he's faithful. i'm not his mother or his keeper, i'm his equal. and i'd be mighty upset if he was being abused on the internet for doing what i can see in those pictures, which is very little.

i guess that's just me being juvenile though, you know, by having an opinion. so you've sure shown me, buddy. :)

Anonymous said...

So you think Matthew Fox is probably happy that he got photographed drunk off his ass in a cheap motel with a hillbilly and a girlz gone wild chick. Sure, I bet he planned it! It's not like he got so drunk he lost complete control of events and let himself be photographed by the kind of person who turned around and sent the pictures to Perez Hilton. Nah! Like every drunk, he's got it all under control.

And honey, if your husband is taking you up on that offer, I sure hope you have him regularly tested for stds. Same goes for Matty's wife.

Anonymous said...

wow, since you're clearly taking this personally and being an absolute turd about it, i'm gonna leave it here. but thanks for not paying attention to a word i said, and resorting to petty insults against myself and my husband. good on you. *claps*

Anonymous said...

No, honey, I'm being serious. If you think "equality" in marriage means your husband should feel free to get blind drunk and bounce around on beds groping blond girls half his age (or whatever MF is doing in that picture where the hillbilly is covering it up), then you are setting yourself up for a world of pain. Protect yourself, because that kind of naivete is downright dangerous.

Anonymous said...

I'm getting a definite Mel Gibson vibe off this guy. Says he's a family man, acts like a douchebag when he thinks no one is looking. Also seems like a big ole drunk. I'm guessing Mrs. Fox, if she's smart, has her lawyers on speed dial. Hopefully she'll get out with her dignity intact, unlike poor Mrs. Gibson who has to deal with her husband knocking up his galpal.

Anonymous said...

Seriously guys, I'm a big Fish fan (ha!) and I cant stand either Fox or his character Jack but what about you guys going on like dried out old maids about him being a bad husband and father for getting drunk nearby a young woman? So what? You dont get drunk from time to time having a good time? Nagging your men about not doing something like that should only make them become what you accuse Fox for being: Party sick horndogs looking for a great time they wont find anywere near their sorry ass boring wives.

Anonymous said...

Wow that was quite a misogynist tirade there, Anonymous. Dried old maids? Nagging sorry ass boring wives? This freak isn't yukking it up in a bar. He's already made it to the bedroom with the slickest chick in the truckstop town.

Real men (see: Josh Holloway) respect their wives too much to behave this way. And no, it's not the wife's fault when the guy isn't man enough to stop being a teenager in his forties. It's not the wife's fault when the guy you married turns into a shameless lush either.

I'm not sure which is sadder - that young guys feel this is normal behavior for old dudes like Fox, or that a girl would help men justify this kind of shit.

Anonymous said...

"firstly yes, i am serious. i don't think you were there, so you can't tell me how drunk he was. i doubt you were in the room as he "bounced on a bed like a horndog" either. if you weren't there, and you're basing your entire assumption on the pictures shown, what you're doing is called speculating. you can speculate until the cows come home about what may or may not have happened in that room, but those pictures show happy (and quite possibly drunk) people doing nothing wrong."

Maxaholic, all I can say is you're way too naive for your own good.

Anonymous said...

Haha, that IS Maxaholic! Here she is lying that she doesn't find matthew fox attractive. Like she came to the fishelage named katensawyer. And apparently that airhead carries over to real life, since she thinks there's nothing wrong with her old hubby bouncing drunk on beds with young hot blondes. Oh, Maxy, you poor dumb thing.

Pintas nos Olhos said...

Useless post...

jessica said...

think it is pathetic when you go after the actor, personally i hate Jack but got nothing against Matthew fox

Anonymous said...

I don't know. As much as I don't like Jack, I think Matthew Fox makes Jack look like a prize. Fox seems like a right ass, and no one's going after him here. They're just posting the pictures of him making an ass of himself.

Pintas nos Olhos said...

I'm wondering why everybody on this post is Anonymous...

Grow up! what a stupid discussion! Don't you people have nothing better to do with your lives? If you get mad out of this silly thing, I can´t imagine the troubles you guys have on you lives.

Anonymous said...

"I'm wondering why everybody on this post is Anonymous..."

As opposed to using a blogger name that could be real or not? I'm "anonymous" because I don't have a blog, just like the vast majority I guess.

Sincerely,
Kate Austen

evanesco75 said...

I can understand disliking a character, but I genuinely fail to see the point of hating on an actor with such vehemence. None of us know him personally, and it isn't like some truly offensive material was shown here. Just a dude with another guy and a girl, fully dressed, looking like they're having a normal good time. There's absolutely no credence for crap like 'bouncing like a horn dog'???
Love the self righteous, holier than thou tone going on here, with people actually commenting on his marriage like they have any idea of it, and comparing him to JH (who wants to bet the actors would laugh their asses off at that, btw? It's so immature!)
It's actually really funny, in a scary sort of way, to see such strong feelings aimed at someone who doesn't have a clue and no doubt couldn't care less...

And then to see people accusing anon posters of being someone? WTF? Weird.
I posted with my name; no doubt I'll get a ton of vitriol in return. No matter. I actually had a pretty good laugh reading this, so, thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

Just a dude with another guy and a girl, fully dressed, looking like they're having a normal good time.

Wow how naive can you be? Middle aged husband getting drunk on a bed in a hotel room with a skeevy chick twenty years his junior. Sure. Nothing wrong with that. I'm sure any wife would LOVE to see her husband acting like this.

Are all you Foxee fans as pathetic in real life as you are when you're apologizing for this douchebag?

Anonymous said...

'Are all you Foxee fans as pathetic in real life?'

Are you this immature and ridiculously, personally offensive to strangers in real life? Go get some anger management classes, or just learn to deal. Insulting people you don't know is what's truly pathetic.

Anonymous said...

What's pathetic about Foxee fans is that they constantly apologize for a guy who is an obvious douche. They come up with the most nonsense reasons (like there's absolutely nothing wrong with 43 year old husband jumping on bed with 20 year old blond while drunk)just because he makes their panties wet. Interview after interview has people confirming that the man is an arrogant, obnoxious creep. But you all can't understand difference between your panties and what's right and wrong. I think the main reason I can't stand Jack or Jate is because I can't stand the kind of people who DO like them, the kind of women who think it's hot for men to behave like animals. It's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Self righteous much? I guess people now need to take out an affidavit swearing they're not up to any crap before they do something as normal as having drinks with TWO OTHER PEOPLE. Wow.

Who made you lot the moral police? Typing away furiously and self importantly, condemning the actor and anyone who may happen to like him by labeling them 'repressed/ sexually frustrated/ pathetic and blah blah blah (it's too mind numbingly sad to quote again).

Talk about prejudice of the worst kind. The Taliban ain't got nothing on you. Congratulations.

Anonymous said...

Taliban???? Please!! Get over yourself dude, calling ppl Taliban just for having opinions makes u Taliban by your logic! Get real. We have a right to comment on actors, they are in the public eye, deal with it! That was a rude and unecesary comment.

Anonymous said...

Haha. Is this how you Foxee fans do it? Getting as drunk as a fratboy with a blonde 20+ years younger than you, on a bed, in a seedy hotel room, with a big redneck doofus who shields the camera from the worst of whatever you're doing = perfectly normal, just "having drinks" with two other people.

But the Taliban insult is goooood. I wonder if Foxee uses that one on his wife after he leaves her with the kids to go off on his drunken binges and score chicks. WHo the hell does she think she is? The Taliban????

ROTFLMAO!