I Visit the Cesspool, So You Don't Have To...

I would like to present to you Exhibit A, a perfectly innocuous post by our own lostvfan on the Outkasts thread of the allegedly "official" Lost board, i.e. The Fuselage:

There has been a lot of speculation about the meaning of Jack's 'because I love you' in the finale. IMO it was not meant romantically but more along the lines of 'I'm sticking up for Sawyer because I care about you and I can see you are hurt.' I have never seen Jack has being 'in love' with Kate. His actions are not those of a man in love.

I think what initially drew Jack to Kate was the ‘hero’ reflection of himself he saw in her eyes. It was more about his ego than about her. Of course his ego was also stroked by having the pretty fugitive’s attention and once Sawyer was in the picture, it became a bit of a contest.

Look at most of his interactions with her. When he demanded to know the significance of the toy plane, he upset her so much she cried – he walked away having no interest in comforting her. When she was taken prisoner during THP, he resented trading her for the guns and turned his back on her when she tried to apologize. When Libby and Ana died, did Jack even notice Kate’s sorrowful reaction? At the glass wall when she cried and begged for Sawyer’s life, he shut her off with ‘we’re done here’. Hell, even in the walkie scene, when he got what he wanted from her, he turned his unit abruptly off.

When she comes to rescue him, he berates her and can’t even find it in his heart to say thank you or acknowledge that she put her life at risk because she felt she ‘owed him that’. In the handcuff scene, he turns the chair around, blocking her access to him, almost preventing her from getting closer than he is comfortable with. She cries and begs and he never softens. He has made the deal he once accused her of making ('What did they offer you?') and makes no apology for it. Hell he is even taking another woman with him, one he has known for only a week. Kate has been throwing Jack’s ‘live together, die alone’ philosophy in Sawyer’s face, now Jack is leaving the Losties and going home and she says nothing. The last bone he throws her is his promise to come back for her and at least the look on her face does indicate some disappointment with her tarnished ‘hero’.

No, I don’t believe Jack ever been 'in love' with Kate. He has enjoyed her attention, ignored her when she didn’t measure up, never responded to her lame attempts to flirt with him and in general treated her like a bothersome little sister he sometimes allows to tag along. If he was in love with her, he never would have been even been tempted to leave her behind. That is not an option for a man in love; we have seen that a man in love would trade his life for hers.

Kate’s rose colored glasses are getting pretty fogged up. When she finally takes them off, maybe she will see the real Jack and discover what Juliet seems to already know. That Jack is as flawed and human as anyone else on the Island and less self aware of this than almost anyone else. That, in many ways, makes him very dangerous.

Any thoughts and what do you think Kate's take was on Jack's declaration?

Now this post was deemed so offensive that, within minutes, it was disappeared into the gulag, along with all the posts that responded to it. The intrepid lostvfan,probably thinking it was a board glitch that such an innocent and respectful post was so summarily deleted, reposted. And this time, it took but seconds for the NaziMods to swoop in and disappear it yet again.

The kindly, helpful NaziMods explained. First one, the brilliant Majandra:

You (obviously) still haven't understood the difference between discussion another character (as in Jaters discussing Sawyer as far as it concerns Jate or Skaters discussing Jack as fas as it concerns Skate) and bashing the members of the opposing ship and you think yet ANOTHER post by a mod explaining the difference will help?And you (obviously) also think that reposting something that was previously deleted, will make us changes our minds?Well, whatever you're trying to accomplish here, let me tell you one thing: It is not working.

To which we say: Durrr? Mocking of other fans? Can this mod even read?

Then the second Stooge, Carency:

If you are reading the Jater Couch as closely as you claim to be, you would have noted that a moderator stepped in to curb that line of conversation recently (and many times before, as has happened here as well), no imagination required. Thus, such off-topic conversations are not "acceptable there", nor are they acceptable here, so I am not sure why you were expecting the privilege of continuing a similarly off-topic discussion. However, unlike the poster triggering the warning there, you are not a new poster. We know that you know quite well that such discussions are not what the ship threads are for, and there was no reason for us to think that the reason for removal of those posts was in any way a surprise to you, or that you do not know that it is not okay to repost what a moderator has deleted.

Then the third (man, they were ON this thing like white on rice, weren't they?):

Of course you can't imagine why those posts were deleted because you clearly are not grasping what both Majandra and Carencey explained to you. You do not make the rules, neither do you decide what posts do and do not break the rules. Other moderators, not just me, have tried to explain this to you and yet you keep insisting they are wrong. Trying ...Good. If we are ever unsure as to what is real character bashing I am sure that the moderators would love to have your help. I don't recall anyone implying that your post was character bashing...actually is it so important for others to know what was in your deleted post? Let me help with this. Your post was off topic for this thread...Jate can be discussed if you do so in the context of Skate. When you discuss only Jate then it becomes off topic. This is the Skate thread and should be mostly Skate. Taking a Jate scene and discussing it in relation to Skate is fine. Dissecting a Jate scene without Skate context is not allowed. And before you all decide to try this by going on about Jate and then adding one line that mentions Skate, don't even go there as it would be deleted for being off topic...Losttvfan, there is no further need to protest 'removals without explanation' in this thread and claim that as your excuse for reposting material removed by a moderator. The posters of this thread are likely not as aware as Karri and the mods are that you do know the policies on this issue, so as always, you are welcome to take it up with Karri, but the discussion here is over.

P.S. That was the abridged work of the eloquent Halfrek if you couldn't guess.

Now we all need frequent re-education sessions from these Big Brother clones, so let's trot on over to our neighbor, the Jater Couch, otherwise known as The Land of The Holier Than Thou, and see how things are done over there. We'll choose a few posts at random, just a sampllng, just a slice of the Jate Cake, if you will:

Now, remember, I'm quoting only posts here that are STILL STANDING on the Couch. They weren't instantly deleted. They weren't deleted at all.
And for the record, I do not expect anyone to read any of this drivel, so I'm going to save some space and shrink it down a bit because - face it - none of us needs to have our brains turned to mashed potatoes. But to be helpful, please note that the words Sawyer, Skate and Skex are all bolded to show how frequently our good little shipper friends manage to bring him up on a thread where he is in no way shape or form supposed to be the topic:


Forever_Erica

Okay, this idiot that you were talking to is obviously a surfacy thinker, those kinds of people see the world as it is and asks zero questions. None, they just accept what's happened and move on. I, for one, am a very complex thinker..

Whiter Rabbit

However, I think you're being much too generous toward Sawyer and his part in the 'square' . I've always believed that Sawyer's primary concern in his relationship with Kate was whatever was best for Sawyer at that particular moment, so I don't think that Kate really owes Sawyer much consideration in ending their ... 'understanding' . It would be best for everyone concerned if she made it clear to Sawyer, quickly and cleanly, that things were over between them.

DocLover

But Sawyer is someone the fans liked, and people thought he was hot and sexy - so why not create some "circumstance" where Sawyer and Kate can "heat things up", without showing an actual real choice having been made on Kate's part? (So as to keep the Jack/Kate love alive). So that's what the mini-arc was for, and we all saw how well that went over. It failed miserably. Sure, it made people love Sawyer more - but Kate's credibility with the fans kind of went downhill after that.

WhiterRabbit (again)

Sorry Gheal, but I can't really agree with that. I will always believe that Skex was a terrible mistake on the writers part, one that did major damage to Kate's character. While I could see the value in exploring why Kate might be more comfortable in interacting with a man like Sawyer (because he was the type of man she was used to dealing with, as apposed to Jack), using Skex to bring that about was just about the worst decision the writers could have made.

Forever_Erica (again)

I think that it’s a GREAT thing that Kate explored Sawyer before Jack. I completely agree with this. When Skex#1 happened, obviously Kate was afraid for Sawyer, but then again she was afraid PERIOD (considering the fact that she kissed Sawyer, he asked her why she did it, she said “I don’t know”, lowered her head, mumbling, then Sawyer raises her head to look at him and in the most frightened and scared tone Kate says “I don’t know…” FOR THE SECOND TIME). I think that with Skate, Kate was scratching an itch so to speak. Skex #1 she was afraid and lost, but that was about it. Skex#2 and Skex#3 were all about Jack, all about him. She saw him with Juliet and then ran to Sawyer (“shut up and don’t talk”…wow, how romantic). Kate and Jack still aren’t speaking and so she goes to Sawyer again (“I can’t sleep if I’m not in my own tent”…PUH-lease!).
Kate’s relationship with Jack was established from the very beginning (I heard from a Jater friend of mine that the Pilot was 50% Jate dialogue!) and it established the incredible dynamic between the two characters and her relationship with Sawyer was rocky, at best, from the start. Skate being addressed in season three was a blessing in disguise. It hurts to see Kate and Sawyer kissing and what-not, but we all know why she’s doing it, it’s so painstakingly obvious why. Being with Sawyer in that romantic way was a mistake and Kate knows that. Skex #1, 2 and 3 were disasters and they all consisted of Kate using Sawyer and Sawyer being open to being used.
Skate has completely lost steam and it can’t last. Skate is nearing the end. Kate knows that and Sawyer knows that, look at the way they treat each other in the s3 Finale. And Jack’s ILY…OMG…Skate will NEVER survive that. Now, the prospect of Kate being pregnant is absolutely ridiculous. We already have a pregnant Sun and Claire was pregnant for most of season one; there’s no way that Kate being pregnant is in the best interest of the show. No way. And it’s not her destiny to be pregnant with Sawyer’s kid. Season three made it completely obvious beyond belief that Kate never loved Sawyer in that way and that she's in love with Jack.

DocLover (again)

have to agree with you on this one White Rabbit. Sawyer is out for Sawyer. He KNOWS that Kate loves Jack, he KNOWS he's being used and he's okay with that.....why?? Because he gets to knock off some island booty. Kate told Sawyer from the beginning that she only said she loved him so they would stop beating the ever-lovin' out of him, and that hasn't changed. She didn't just fall in love with him a day later. She's had plenty of opportunity, and she's been asked by Sawyer "point blank" - yet she can't and won't say she loves him.
I don't think Kate "owes" Sawyer anything. She wanted to go back for Jack and Sawyer was, as usual, ALL ABOUT HIMSELF and crying like a little girl over his "stash". He doesn't care about anyone, I mean really care - unless he's being threatened with banishment, and then he pretends to be nice. Which we all saw was a total struggle for him. And as far as Sawyer as their leader........God help them if that happens.
I was just informed that LOST did not lose 5 million viewers after the mini-arc. I was provided all sorts of numbers to go with this information. (although to go from about 17 million viewers during the mini-arc to about 12 million, give or take, AFTER the mini-arc, seems pretty close to 5 million to me) Unless there's some new math I'm not familiar with But whatever. Also, every article I read after the mini-arc was reported that LOST lost 5 million viewers after the mini-arc. I don't care if I got the numbers wrong. They lost viewers, and it was because of the mini-arc and EVERYTHING involved in it, and yes, that includes the Skex. I know that stings some people too, but it certainly wasn't Jate that chased them away, as they were not in the mini-arc, except for the few true moments they shared. So be careful what you write here - you'll be corrected if you're wrong!

Forever_Erica (yes, again)

SKEX was the naill in the coffin for most viewers. Yes, other factors played into it, but come on! Skex had as much to do with LOST losing all those viewers as anything else and you can throw all the stats and numbers at me that you can find, it doesn't prove that Skex wasn't the cause (and the LACK of Jate didn't help with the ratings either). "I Do" was the worst episode of the arc IMHO and I really think that people were just appalled by it altogether and basically said, "LOST isn't worth the headache anymore."
I, for one, am a LOYAL fan of the show from the VERY beginning (the Pilot), who watched the 'dreaded arc' and even I wanted to give up on LOST (but my love for Jack and Jate wouldn't let me ). I stuck through it and Skex really did nothing for me. Nothing. It was a utter disaster. Jate grew and evolved from Skex and Skate if anything.

And for good measure, our resident Krystal ball reader:

This is one persons opinion though. That person couldn't possibly know why 4 million people stopped watching the show, so to say it's based solely on a later time slot and not the quality of the story telling is inaccurate. Everyone I've spoken to IN PERSON lol says to the contrary. They didn't like the mini-arc because of the story and they also felt that the quality of the show wasn't up to par. When I've asked a few of my regular customers why they have stopped watching the show, they tell me the exact same things. Only one person told me that the length of the hiatus was what drove her away and when I brought up the fact that Lost goes on "hiatus" every summer, she responded with, "that's true, maybe I was just fed up with the stories."

Trust me, I'm talking the tip of the iceberg here. I could easily have gone on five times longer.

Now to summarize:
1. Most of these posts were written not by newbies, like the egomaniacal devout Christian Forever_Erica, but by old timers who "know the rules" (as if anyone knows the fucking rules of the Fuse).
2. None of them discuss Jate.
3. All of them discuss Skate in detail, slamming it incessantly.
4. Most of them BASH Sawyer incessantly.
5. Some of them, especially those of the egomaniacal devout Christian Forever_Erica also slam other posters.
6. NONE OF THEM WAS DELETED.

There was a really harsh warning given (yup, just one) from the always fair Halfrek:

so i see that you have some new Jaters. that is great, however it is evident that these new posters did not read the rules or something. you regular Jaters should be setting an example and not encouraging such behaviour. tsk tsk!
reminders:
this is the Jater couch, not the call people names (idiot) , bash other ships or generally discuss everything except for Jate.
discussing illegal behaviour (downloading) is against the rules.
you all may want to review these rules again before the mods come through with a heavy hand and just remove the entire conversation. thank you.

Wow! She told them, didn't she? She didn't even have the energy to push down her Caps key on the computer. I wonder - if they're really, really bad will she send them all to bed without any Jate Cake?

The Fuse is a Dead Zone.

Literally. It's like a big old mildewed, decrepit, condemned building. The only inhabitants left gnawing on the rotten cheese left under the seat cushions are the bloated rats having a party because they've finally become homeowners! When was the last time anyone read an intelligent post at the Fuse, or witnessed a vibrant debate?

It's getting to the point the only conversations that will happen there will all go something like this.

Forever Erica: Aren't I great the way I see the truth ?

DocLover: Yes, F-E you are really great. And Jate is fate, right?

Forever Erica: PUHLEEEZE, Jate is so fate it's not funny. And Sawyer needs to die by having his balls torn off by rabid animals, right?

DocLover: That's too good for him the most vile piece of human scum that ever ruined my life! I NEED to see him DEAD! NOW!

Krystal: Just so you both know, everyone on Earth agrees with you.

Forever Erica + DocLover in unison: Oh, we know. :bob heads:

Whiter Rabbit: Oh my, these brilliant and scintillating discussions have put me in the mood to bastardize some great work of literature. Should I mutilate a great poem or a great speech? I know! I'll find some lines of sacred scripture from the Bible and deface it with JATE!

DocLover: Oh, Whiter Rabbit! You are making me hot! Can I have your babies? :grin:

Whiter Rabbit: No, I don't believe in sex, you hussy. Don't you read my posts?

Forever Erica: Of course not Whiter Rabbit. Jaters are too good for that! We're the GOOD GUYS! We only believe in JEX!


Listen, we all know the Fuse is irrelevant. It's a cesspool frequented by the dregs of the fandom, people who actually like having their diapers changed and their bottoms spanked by emotionally unstable mods. The only problem with it is that it continues to carry the cachet of being "Official". It really is emblematic of how intellectually degenerate so much of the online Lost fandom seems to be that they allow a shithole like this to represent them in any way, shape or form. Think about it. You've all had discussions about Lost with friends and family. Have you ever had a conversation as inane and stupid as the ones that are carried on there? Or one as polluted and mean spirited as the ones that are driven by the sanctimonious fans of the "good" guy?

I know no one posts there any more. And I sure don't encourage anyone to give them the satisfaction. But we do need to keep an eye on it and keep letting them know we understand what hypocrites they are. And how lousy it is that they stole the Fuselage from the Lost fans and turned it into such an embarrassment to this fandom and to our show.

So, never fear, we're staying on it. As long as that word "Official" stays in the title. The minute that comes down, and only then, we'll be very, very happy to leave them alone to wallow in their stink.

Read more...

More Hi-larity. Good times, people. Good times.

It's come to my attention that the Bubbleheads have invented a new shiny slogan to take over from their now defunct 'Jate is Fate' mantra (better known as JIF for all you fans of cloying shit that sticks to the roof of your mouth).

This scintillatingly witty and winning slogan is gonna be: Jate in '08.

Yep, that's the new catchphrase that's going to beat the pants off of that tired old 'Save the Cheerleader, Save the World' stuff. This is somehow going to make things happen, turn Lost around from its present course, and dredge up a sunken ship from the bottom of the deep blue sea. Apparently.

Note it has that rhyming thing going, which is way cool and apparently an important component for Bubbleheadisms in order to be easily remembered and chanted in an inanely sing songy voice. Maybe they should have looked to Dr. Seuss for more inspiration, though.

Which brings me to this week's challenge. For all you intelligent and snarkily minded posters out there. How about you come up with a better slogan for the Jate ship. Something pithy and punchy. Something that will live on in the hearts and minds of the common people, and the masses of Jate-supporting GSA (general screen audience) that the Bubbleheads supposedly know exist.

Or better yet, how about a counter slogan for the Skaters? Something that will stand against the unstoppable force of the above juggernaut.

Let the creative juices roll! Read more...

Bubblehead Blind Item - The insanity continues...

This Bubblehead is particularly fluent in Batshit Jaterese. Be ready to don your Bubble-O-Delusion helmets in order to read some of this stuff without gagging or laughing your ass off.

First off we have the essay on how Kate can't be a leader without Jack to back her up, and she's so brilliant at being his little woman in support...What is she? Jackie Onassis? Grace Kelly? Welcome back to the 1950's and 60's guys where women can't be seen strong leaders in their own right because it's so damned unfeminine:

"Behind Every Great Man is a Great Woman

I believe that when Kate’s relationship with Jack is less than stellar, she doesn’t feel as though she can lead, she doesn’t have the confidence in herself to be a leader. When she and Jack are on good terms and when they are in a great place, Kate feels very comfortable taking on huge responsibilities and showing that she is capable of being a great leader. It’s the same for Jack, but not exactly the same. I think that Jack is a natural-born leader, but he is a more effective leader when he knows that Kate supports him 100%. When Kate isn’t there with him 100%, Jack is a less than effective leader.

Kate is a very strong and very capable woman. She is obviously very head-strong, smart, courageous and she is a very caring and sincere person. But on very many occasions, we see a change in her based on her relationship status with Jack. When she and Jack are okay, when their relationship is good, Kate is a different person, a better, more capable person, but when she and Jack have come to a crossroads of sorts and they aren’t really speaking or they’re upset or frustrated with each other, we see that Kate is changed and bothered by it. Jack is a strong, courageous and brave man who never gives up. But when his relatioship with Kate is severed, he's different, not the same confident man he was, but when things are good between him and Kate, Jack is okay, better, stronger.

We see that Jack is able to lead without Kate by his side, but he’s not as effective without Kate. Jack plus Kate equals a very effective leader, while Jack minus Kate equals a less than effective leader. Kate plus Jack equals a leader, while Kate minus Jack equals a follower. Remember the old saying: “Behind every great man is a great woman”, the roles can be switched to say, “Behind every great woman is a great man” . Almost all of Kate’s capabilities to lead come from Jack and Jack’s capacity to lead more effectively comes from Kate. They are the other’s motivation and strength."


And another shiny nugget of wisdom from this poster, which was apparently posted somewhere where Skaters are not expected to go. I guess it was really just hot air for her fellow Jaters to puff themselves up on, rather than a real throwing down of the gauntlet. Give up now Skaters we are clearly no match for this poster and we don't want to piss her off:


"My message to Skaters: Make it easy on yourselves in the long run and admit that it's over. I mean, maybe Kate and Sawyer have a few more scenes left in them, I'm intelligent enough to realize that, I'm not going to deny it, Skate still is a huge problem for Jack and Kate, but it's basically over. Give up. Take some dignity with you while you still have some left. Please take my advice. This is me being kind. Don't piss me off and continue with the ridiculous pretense that Skate will be the ULTIMATE couple, because WE ALL KNOW WHICH COUPLE fits the description of ULTIMATE and, sorry, but it's not Skate. Do the right thing."


And last but not least, some more ridiculous rationalizations by same poster at the Couch, which of course is still THE place to go for the biggest amount of Jate-spin being gobbled up on a Kate-licked spoon:


"I think that it’s a GREAT thing that Kate explored Sawyer before Jack. I completely agree with this. When Skex#1 happened, obviously Kate was afraid for Sawyer, but then again she was afraid PERIOD (considering the fact that she kissed Sawyer, he asked her why she did it, she said “I don’t know”, lowered her head, mumbling, then Sawyer raises her head to look at him and in the most frightened and scared tone Kate says again “I don’t know…”). I think that with Skate, Kate was scratching an itch so to speak. Skex #1 she was afraid and lost, but that was about it. Skex#2 and Skex#3 were all about Jack, all about him. She saw him with Juliet and then ran to Sawyer (“shut up and don’t talk”…wow, how romantic). Kate and Jack still aren’t speaking and so she goes to Sawyer again (“I can’t sleep if I’m not in my own tent”…PUH-lease!).

Kate’s relationship with Jack was established from the very beginning (I heard from a Jater friend of mine that the Pilot was 50% Jate dialogue!) and it established the incredible dynamic between the two characters and her relationship with Sawyer was rocky, at best, from the start. Skate being addressed in season three was a blessing in disguise. It hurts to see Kate and Sawyer kissing and what-not, but we all know why she’s doing it, it’s so painstakingly obvious why. Being with Sawyer in that romantic way was a mistake and Kate knows that.

Skate has completely lost steam and it can’t last. Skate is nearing the end. Kate knows that and Sawyer knows that, look at the way they treat each other in the s3 Finale. And Jack’s ILY…OMG…Skate would NEVER survive that. Now, the prospect of Kate being pregnant is absolutely ridiculous. We already have a pregnant Sun and Claire was pregnant for most of season one; there’s no way that Kate being pregnant is in the best interest of the show. No way. And it’s not her destiny to be pregnant with Sawyer’s kid.

Kate will stop running sooner or later. And Jack will be the reason that she stops running."

Yes, my finned friends, there are fans who actually believe this kinda stuff FOR REAL.

Thanks to my fishbitches at the Fishelage for bringing me the Jater-chum to toss on the water. Read more...

What's It All About?
or
A Non-Unified Theory of Lost

Sometimes it seems like Lost wants to be all things to all customers.

It's got yer magic,



yer mysteries,



yer comedy,



yer tragedy.



It's got everything.

Philosophy.



Science fiction.



Mysticism.



Word games.



Name games.



Sex!



Drugs!



Rock & roll!

...Well, really there isn't enough rock and roll on Lost. Maybe they can work that in next year.

Another way to look at it is that the whole big beautiful mess is a kind of labyrinth, with intricate pathways that all look plausible, but that mostly are fakes.



A shell game. A three card Monte



Where you keep thinking you know where it's going, but just when you're 100% sure, you run smack into another dead end and realize what an idiot you sound like defending theories that constantly blow up in your face.



But probably the most accurate description, at this point in time, and it leaves all the other avenues open, is that Lost, as Carlton Cuse said recently, is a MOSAIC. A pattern being built out of order that won't make any sense until the last tile slips into place.



It's an ideal metaphor for Lost as we know it - not least because of the visual artists and cinematographers who make this show a thing of such beauty. The one mainstay of Lost, especially in this just ended Season Three, is that even when the storytelling falters, it always looks amazing. And since we moderns are such a visual people, it's important that they tell this story so well in pictures. So with pictures we'll try to figure it out.


First things first.


It's a challenge to parse out the constant collage of themes and motifs the writers throw at the audience, but let's start here: The rabbit. Specifically, a white rabbit. Like the one

who led Alice into Wonderland, later revisited in Through the Looking Glass,

a world where the White Queen is living time backwards, where memories flow in both directions. Sort of how they do on Lost. And where we're never really sure what direction the time is moving in.


It's About Time.



Time on Lost is an unchained melody. This season time was really hopping and bopping on Lost. In Flashes Before Your Eyes, Desmond found himself transported back to his own past.

He had memories of his future self...I mean, his present self (his present self being a guy from the future living in his own past) ...and what he was forced to learn was ... that he had no choice but to relive that past in exactly the same way, even though he now knew it would lead him inevitably to banishment and pain.
His teacher's name was Mrs. Hawking.

A name not to be taken lightly. Her bizarre predictions raised one of the big questions in her namesake's book :

Is time travel possible? This actually requires no advance degree to respond. Short answer: No way.

So why do so many geniuses spend so much time trying to think up ways that time travel might be possible? Theoretically, it's possible for matter to pass through something called wormholes. Maybe Desmond traveled from one spot on the great time space continuum to another...

....only he'd need infinite amounts of exotic matter to provide him the negative energy required to accelerate all his subatomic particles faster than the speed of light. Quantum physics to the layman doesn't really sound any less fantastical than unicorns. Sometimes it kind of sounds like teenagers discussing last night's Dungeons and Dragons game. But in televised fiction, it's the looking glass that science passes through to become science fiction.



Not to mention the time travel thing will get your head spinning if you try and think it through, even without the quantum physics. The classic question goes something like this - If you travel back to before you were born and kill your father, how can you still exist?

Tell me that's not a relevant question on this show.


Physicists are all wicked smart, but the way they answer this kind of question still reminds me of the way five year olds answer big questions. They just make stuff up... We are to imagine that time is like a whirlpool within a river, where in certain places time loops around back on itself. Or it's like a tree that can branch off into parallel, alternate, concurrent realities, all totally independent and even contradictory to each other.

Maybe in one universe the Flight 815 passengers all died, like Naomi said,

but in this other one, they are alive and well (or as well as can be expected).

As for how she got between the two universes...hell, she was in a spacesuit!

Maybe she got super accelerated faster than the speed of light. Basically, in quantum phsyics, if you can somehow manage to get accelerated faster than the speed of light, you can pretty much be God. Only problem is, you know, that's still about as reality based as unicorns. But time travel is one of those rabbit holes, one of those trails on the labyrinth, that Lost took a detour into this year. We just don't know yet if it's a dead end or not.


It's about Destiny.



Mrs. Hawkings tells Desmond that he must simply go back through all the paces of his past and repeat every action he now knows was a mistake, because if he doesn't "then every single one of us is dead!". And she tells him "You don't do it because you choose to, Desmond. You do it because you're supposed to."

Supposed to? Pretty weak way to put it. It's not like he HAS to. He's just SUPPOSED to? Like how we're all supposed to eat five servings of vegetables every day? Strange, because she also says he is forced to turn the failsafe key. So did Des have any choice? Could he have chosen to do differently and let mankind die?

And that brings us to Jack on the fateful day that Locke told him "You're not supposed to do this."

Which, many years later, Jack seemed to be agreeing with, when he told Kate "We weren't supposed to leave."

Could Jack have chosen differently? Given the circumstances, why would he have chosen differently? It almost seemed like he was forced to conclude the phone call was the right thing to do. And you know, the funny thing about Jack's future is there didn't seem to be anything "wrong" about it...

....except for Jack. L.A. seems to have survived from whatever apocalypse hit good Dr. Jack. The freeways and hospitals and slums and airports are all still there. Mankind has clearly survived. It looks like things worked out as they were 'supposed to' in the end....Or did they?



Desmond is not named Hume for nothng.



Hume the skeptic, who didn't want to be pinned down on exactly how a cause creates an effect, except to call cause and effect "the cement of the universe".

One thing we all tend to count on in life: the cause comes first,


then the effect.

As Charlie learned all too well.

But nothing, unfortunately, is ever that simple. If one believes in destiny, as Desmond does, as Mrs. Hawking made it clear he had to, then that means the effect (your destiny) comes before the cause (what you do to create that destiny). Since the destiny has to happen, all the things that lead up to it are caused by what they cause!



Or to borrow a much clearer explanation, from Through the Looking Glass, which is our guidebook after all:

... `For instance, now,' she went on, ... `there's the King's Messenger. He's in prison now, being punished: and the trial doesn't even begin till next Wednesday: and of course the crime comes last of all.'
`Suppose he never commits the crime?' said Alice.
`That would be all the better, wouldn't it?' the Queen said ...

I hope everyone is following this. In other words, Charlie had to die...which caused him to do the things that would cause his death. See? It's elementary.

So, if time is moving backwards, or in spirals, or any which way it chooses, then does that mean our characters can step in and out of this time space continuum at will? Does that mean Jack's fans will get to see their hero stagger out of his drug addled state

and flash back to the moment before he made that phone call,

so he can "fix" all the wrongs that were caused by that action? Hmmm, dunno. Hope not. That kind of sounds like Gilligans Island meets Dr. Who, which - hilarious as that might actually be - would be a jump the shark evolution of epic proportions. But I will note that the voice on the end of the phone Jack called - the bad guy, I'm guessing - was named Minkowski. And that would also be the name, because a name is never just a name on Lost, of the famous mathematician Herman Minkowski, an associate of Einstein and the first to define and name the concept of Timespace (binding time to space as the fourth dimension).



We may be Enslaved by Time and Space, but rules are made to be broken and who knows? There may still be an escape hatch hiding somewhere out there in Timespace.



To sum all this up, the characters on Lost may be trapped in a block of Timespace that allows them to super accelerate their atomic subparticles and travel like chrononauts through time, where the future causes the past but any screwups along the way and all of humanity will be destroyed. OR they could just be stuck on a Craphole island they were predestined to crash land on and are as helpless as most of us are trying to understand all the quantum physics mumbo jumbo I have tried to decipher for this piece.




I think we need to change gears here. Time was far from the only important story this season. We really should be getting back to the rabbits.

One thing rabbits do very efficiently is make more rabbits.

And it was hard to ignore that theme on Lost this season.


It's about Redemption.



Maybe.

This is probably the glibbest and most popular way of summarizing Lost's "meaning". It's a thin description. Lost isn't about Redemption the way the Sopranos is about the Mafia, for instance. But the story does concern itself with the Circle of Life and Death and Birth. And Death.

We found out Sun's baby was Jin's.

And in about a month or so, it's going to put Sun six feet under.


This is also a problem for Kate...

who, after making the hot, hot love with Sawyer, may now be carrying her very own Bundle of Death.

Actually, these babies are only getting a head start on what has become one of Lost's most consistent themes:

First, kill all the parents.

Not that they don't deserve it.

The characters of Lost are trapped in the Oedipal misery of a vicious Parent Trap. Where the killing of the father is not a crime, but almost a sacred rite of passage. Where little babies still in the womb suicide bomb their own mommies. The entire circle of life on the Island seems tainted and unclean.

It's enough to make you question where this Island = Redemption myth actually got started. The only guy who is actively dying and being reborn




doesn't really seem like much of a role model.


Eko did not repent

and he died.


Charlie did repent, many times over

and he died too.


So, if this is a story of redemption, it doesn't seem to be taking the black and white path of moral absolutism to get us there.

Love is redemptive. And this was supposed to be the Season of Romance. They remembered to name Jack's V3.0 Love Interest after the most famous romantic heroine in literature

but aside from that I think what we all learned this season was that maybe geeks should not be allowed to write romance. Not that there weren't moments of beauty,


of love in all its guises, romantic and otherwise,


but they had to be swallowed along with some really harsh doses of sado/maso imagery wrapped up as romance


and female characters left clawing each other in a kind of mirror image of the shipper groups they inspired.


I'm speaking here of course about the great Greek and Trojan Armies fighting Lost's Endless Battle of the Warring Contractions:

JATE!



vs.

SKATE!



Which doesn't look like much of a battle any longer, when you look at it in perspective, but hey, it's a long hiatus and if it makes people happy to still pretend this is a contest...Enjoy.


It's about Literature.

Visual generation or not, it helps to be a reader watching Lost.

From A Tale of Two Cities that set up the mini arc, where the future alcoholic Jack did the 'far, far better thing' to set the lovers free...to the tragic human raggedness Of Mice and Men...

to the vicious circles of fate and free will in Catch 22...

to the upside down cracked mirror of Through the Looking Glass, these stories were part of the story. The Bible was represented, with Ben, the youngest son of Jacob, the father of the twelve Israelite tribes... with references to Isaac and Abraham...to Naomi and Ruth..and with the ongoing confusion of whether Jack is meant to be our Good Shephard or our Moses...or just a big fat disappointment.

There were other, more obscure references as well, like the PALA FERRY in this shot,

which is reminiscent of Pala, the name of the Island in Aldous Huxley's book - a futuristic utopia where parrots give pep talks, spirituality is centered around a clifftop temple and everyone has LOTS of sex. (I'm seeing the tie ins, are you?) One book that seems a natural fit for Lost is Lord of the Flies - whose issues of social structure are on the minds of the writers, implicitly rather than explicity throughout the story.

We have Locke, who believed each life was a tabula rasa and that man's rights within society were natural and God given,

sometimes thought of as the Father of Liberalism.

The believer in mankind's innate goodness, Rousseau,

the Father of Socialism.

Burke, the believer in the natural superiority of the upper classes,

the Father of Conservativism.

And for good measure, Bakunin, the atheist,

the Father of Anarchism.

Uh, oh, we're back on the fathers again. That's never good. Although in most of our lives, fathers aren't bad people at all. In fact, for many of us, good old Dad is our first Hero. Which brings us to the very important idea...

It's about Heroes.

If I had to choose only one thing about Lost that makes it most special, I would have to say it is this:

The characters. The main ones. The minor ones. The dead ones that come back and visit.

There were some great character arcs this season.

Sawyer fell in love for the first time in his life,

travelled to the fringes of Redemption

only to be thrown violently back into the turbulent seas of his soul.



Desmond's story had its own seperate orbit, funneling through wormholes in Timespace.



Juliet came from nowhere to add an entirely new level of enigma and poignancy to the story.



Charlie stared into the eyes of destiny and found his apotheosis.



As for Kate's character arc this year, this face might be the best way to describe it:



We learned Ben's entire life story in one episode, from his beginnings as the original infant assassin

through his complex psychological profile as an exceedingly bizarre creature.



Locke climbed out of one pit

and fell into another.

But he climbed back out again, to challenge his alter ego....

Jack, who also came full circle this season,

from miserably stalking one woman in his past...

to miserably stalking a different one in his future.

Some people think Lost has a main character. But, does it? If Jack is the main character of Lost, then is Lost the Story of Jack? In other words, is Lost a Monomyth - the story of one hero, one person whose story reflects the story of any one of us as we fight through the Thunderdome of life.

The "mono" in the Monomyth is the Hero. The Hero goes on a Hero's Journey - a rigorous ritual of Departure, Initiation and Return marked by such stages as The Call to Adventure, the Training by the Mentor, the Meeting with the Goddess, the Inmost Cave, the Magical Boon...It's almost Dungeons and Dragons all over again! Actually, it's not as rigid as it sounds. Even little Alice goes on a Hero's Journey of sorts when she travels through the looking glass. So you see it can be adapted to fit almost any story, and that's the point.

So is Jack on the Hero's Journey?
He has a Challenge - he wants to go home. But that's hardly unique to Jack.

His medical skills make him "special", but he's not the only doctor on the Island either.
Who is Jack's Mentor? This guy?

Who was his Oracle? This chick?

His "Trials"

are just too wimp-ass for words.

Are these two his Allies?

Or just the only two people on the island who can stand to be around him?
We know Jack grew up wanting to be a hero.

We know he thinks he's the Hero.

But is that really how it works?

You can probably make a case that almost any other character on Lost is the Hero.

Sawyer has had a Reversal on his trail to the Adventure of rejoining the human race,

but he has been Tried and will surely be Tried again.

He has defeated his psychic Nemesis (and gained nothing by it).

He has found something that is Sacred to him.

He has a Mentor now,

and Allies...


but also the most unreadable path of any character. And that's not a bad place for a Hero's Journey to be at the midpoint of a story still very much in flux.


Lost may be a Fight Club of sorts, but there's no law that says girls can't be heroes, and Juliet, trapped on an enchanted island with an evil overlord

has been Called to the Adventure of giving life,

the Magical Boon they may all end up needing most before it's over.


Maybe Ben is the Hero.

He hits all the marks. (Plus, he's got the rabbit.)...
He's definitely special.

The Call to Adventure.

The Challenge.

The Goddess.

The Mentor.

The Magical Boon

...Unless being the "chosen one" of a temperamental poltergeist hermit isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Maybe Ben right now is in the Belly of the Beast phase of the journey,

and still has to defeat his Nemesis, a twist in the story no one will be expecting next year.


Maybe Locke is the Hero.

He was Called to Adventure even before he came to the Island, but it wasn't until he fell out of a plane with his spine magically restored that he became "special". He lost his way last season, but this year he struck out on his own path.
He has a Mentor.

A Nemesis.

And another Nemesis.

....aaaand another one.

He is visited by an Oracle in his time of need.

He's been to the Valley of Death,

and has found his Magical Boon, even though he doesn't know yet what it is. And you can't really fault him for that. Do you have any idea what's up with Jacob? No Hero has gone deeper into the mysterious unknown than the amorally intrepid Locke.

In the end, maybe he will be the Hero.


Maybe Desmond is the Hero.

Like Odysseus, who doesn't enter his own story until the second act, Desmond is still a relative newcomer to our story. But his story seems to cleave closest of all to that Mondo of all Monomyths. He was Called to Adventure

and was lost at sea

but the Goddess continues to search for him,

Penelope, named for Odysseus' own wife.
His Mentor set him on the correct path.

His Oracle kept him there.

(Plus these two seem to know each other!)

The hatch was his Belly of the Whale. He died and was reborn. And now he has the Magical Boon

that he still doesn't know what to do with. Not only does Desmond seem to be following the Hero's Journey most closely,

his fascinating story ripples furthest out into the larger tale.


But some fans are stubborn. A lot of people seem to think that Jack has to be our monomythical hero. It's like thinking outside of that box makes their heads explode. So, we'll give that one more shot. If Jack is the Hero, we just left him, at season's end, in the Inmost Cave. Dead. Hopeless. If the story is going to follow his monomyth, then the next step for this "hero" is the real life Hero's Journey known as Detox and Long Term Rehab. Followed by a new quest to round up the posse and return to the uncharted shores of who knows where. To reset time? To vanquish enemies? In other words a whole new show. Kind of like the Friends of Bill meet Captain Nemo. Does that sound good? We'll get some idea once the new posters come out for Season Four. If they look like this



we'll know that's exactly where they're taking this story.


Truth be told, there doesn't seem to be any one hero or protagonist on Lost, any more than there is one theme. With it's multiple viewpoints, its rejection of simplistic moral absolutes and the constant ironic cultural allusions, Lost is marked as a post modern piece of work. It borrows from the kind of techniques used in films like Magnolia.



It even borrows the cover art.



The antique chauvinisms of the Monomyth may end up being a poor fit for this rambling, sprawling tale.

In fact the only constant in the story, the only central protagonist I can positively identify is this one:



The Island itself.


As for a central theme, if anything, maybe this:


Namaste is one of those wonderful double meaning words that express their own opposite. Its the Hindi version of Aloha. Hello/Goodbye. Whichever works. Like so much on Lost, it's self referential. Like this logical impossibility:

Like Buddha, who told that the only people to reach Enlightenment are those who don't seek it. Like Hume, who believed that man could exercise Free Will only if his life was predetermined. Like Alice, who went through the mirror into the world where memories come before the actions they remember.


The eye



is a camera.

So often this season we found ourselves looking at people on our screens looking into screens at people looking out from screens.



Lost watches itself and we watch ourselves inside it. The Looking Glass reflects more than just the image of the looker.



"Art is a mirror not because it is the same as the object, but because it is different. " G. K. Chesterton

Next season, more tiles will shift into place and the picture in the mosaic will change yet again. Once the missing pieces are all added, who can guess what it will look like next?

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