Skating Over Jate

Ah, spring. A time for starting over. A time for renewed hope. A time for giving thanks. Okay, so that last part is actually associated with fall, but here in Fishbiscuitland, we give our thanks in the spring. Deal with it.

What, you may ask, do we have to be thankful for? Well, let's review. Travel back with me to one year ago - mid-April of 2006. It was a confusing time. Where we thought Sawyer and Kate had been leading up to a definite romance due to the anvils dropped early in Season 2, we suddenly found ourselves staring at a post-long-con battlefield strewn with the corpses of tree frogs and awkwardly misplaced nets. Our predictions were in shambles. Heading into the finale, all we hoped for - all we dared dream of - was some kind of positive Skate interaction. Something that would indicate that Jate wasn't fate. And also, no more nets. Ever again. In short, our wants were simple, and our expectations were low.



Because of that, we were content enough with our Bonnie and Clyde scene. It worked. It was hot, and kick-ass, and the screen capture became the preferred media representation of Lost through the entire summer. Plus, it was a hell of a lot better than that creepy S&M stare the Jaters got. We went into the hiatus breathing easier, but still without setting our hopes too high.
But lo and behold, as Season 3 got underway, it soon became apparent that not just our fantasies, but in some instances, our wildest fantasies were going to come true. What did we do to deserve such blessings? Sawyer in love? An epic kiss? A beautiful sex scene? Post-coital cuddling? Kate offering her life for Sawyer's? Even an epic hug? (Who knew a hug could even be epic?)

As far as shipping goes, we won the lottery, my friends. No question about it. And now, with rumblings of jealousy sex afoot and the Skater community foaming at the mouth in pre-emptive outrage, I've decided that there's no better time to take a quick look back at the glut, or should we call it an avalanche, of goodies we've been showered with thus far.
Let's start with the biggies. Remember this?





And hey, what about this?



And of course, who could forget this - the love scene we feared we might never see, let alone in the first six episodes?








Followed, no less, by this.





And oh yeah, this too.



This part still gives me chills.




Here's another one that speaks for itself.



And last but not least in the biggie category, how's this for a damn hug? Does any other couple on Lost have a hug scene that lasts five frakkin' minutes, with its own instrumental theme? Didn't think so.






And lest we overlook the smaller moments in all the jaw-droppingly gorgeous ones, let's take a gander at a few of those as well.

Our first Skate of the season - and quite possibly the cutest sharing of not-meant-for-humans food ever to be broadcast.




Strawberries and fishbiscuits? The sexiest flavors in the world.




Kate and Sawyer can't even stop making eyes at each other inside Locke's head. Dream flirting, folks! Can it get any more canon than that? I maintain that it can not.



Even our comic relief is sexy!!





This one's just pretty.



Say it with me. Awwww.




We should never discount the beauty of the angst.




Or the goofiness, either.



Plus, we've got longing glances out the wazoo...




And the most perfect symbolism imaginable, whether together.....



Or apart.



Without sounding too cocky about it, let's also keep in mind that we're guaranteed at least one, and possibly more, sex scenes this season. (Somewhere, a bubble just popped.)


*thanks Spunky for the delicious animation!*

And though we can't exactly cap it, let's not forget the important fact that OUR ship has all those cool flashback connections. Sure, we already knew that Sawyer ordered a beer from Kate's mom in a diner, and that Sawyer and Kate both had some bizarre fascination with Tallahassee (land of wafflehouses and STDs). But this season we also found out they share another Florida connection, and that Kate's husband Kevin-the-cop was probably working on the case of Sawyer's "Tampa job" that went all screwy. Even more meaningful, his ex-girlfriend/mark Cassidy was Kate's BFF for a bit, and Kate even asked her where to find Sawyer, presumably to set him on fire or at least to kick his ass. Another cool detail - her incognito cap said "Cowboy Up" - - one of our boy's pet phrases.

Hmmm. Near misses? Mutual friends? Oblique references? If I didn't know any better, I'd think the writers were hinting that something like fate must have finally put these two crazy kids into one another's direct orbit. It's a pity that word has already been copyrighted and trademarked by the Bubbles for their own personal use through the year 2009 + infinity. Then again, they need it more than we do, since, as far as I'm aware, Jack and Kate have precisely zero flashback connections. But hell, there's still time! Maybe they'll catch up by the zombie season. I bet Zombie Jack's tattoo spells out "J.I.F." in Thai.

So, while I'm on my soapbox, let me be frank. That up there... those caps? THAT is the canon ship on Lost. Because TV, for all its self-importance, is a visual medium. What you see is what you get. And what we see is Skate. You know, ninety-nine percent of the general audience doesn't give a damn about media soundbytes or interviews, or ridiculously inflated promos, or press releases. They don't read online theories or fantasized ramblings about twu wuv and Fate. They don't care about fanfic, or even all that much about character analysis. They care about, and they remember, what they see. Think back to all the TV shows you've loved in the past. Do you recall what the directors said in interviews, or what the promos tried to sell? Or do you remember what happened in the episodes - the story you saw unfold on your screen? Take your time.

What you see up there in those caps is not a friendship, or a sibling relationship. It's not something we imagine or invent or convince ourselves of in group sessions, or something we extrapolate based on fanfic. It's not a series of out-of-character mistakes, or self-loathing punishments. And it sure as hell ain't an obstacle in the path of another, more important, love story. That there is THE love story - the canon love story of Lost. You remember Lost, right? That show about unnaturally sexy plane crash survivors that airs Wednesdays on ABC? It's not to be confused with the Lost that airs in high definition in the heads of the Jaters, every day at Crazy O'Clock on Channel Batshit.

In contrast to our windfall, what exactly does Jate have going in its favor this season? (We won't use caps, because let's face it, there'd only be, like, three.) They have Kate begging Jack to save Sawyer's life, and getting yelled at for it. They have Kate refusing to leave Jack behind, and getting yelled at for it. They have Kate trying to rescue Jack, and getting yelled at for it. (But with handjex... with handjex!!) They have Jack abandoning Kate to psychotic torturers, because they pinky-swore they'd let her go. And they have an unintentionally hilarious scene in which Jack wakes up, knocks Kate into a wall, and then ignores her while she cries - which is seemingly an improvement over the yelling. Oh, and let's not forget that lame-ass, awkward firewood snapping scene. Score!

So basically, what the Jaters have to represent their fated, epic love this season is nothing but a heaping, steaming pile of jack squat. Just imagine, if you can, the deafening uproar of joy if they'd been granted even a few of our most minor, throwaway scenes. If, for example, Kate asked Jack for a clean slate, pulled a dart from his shoe, or lit her torch from his. Would we be granted the amusement of reading rambles about slatejex, dartjex, and torchjex? I think we would. And I'm almost sorry we've been denied that. But alas, all those scenes were OURS.

To conclude, Skaters, times are good. So no matter what happens in these next few weeks, keep in mind that we're already midway through the course of this TV series, and well into the love story. Heaven be praised, that love story is not Jate. Read more...

Spoilerpalooza, Baby!

Buddy TV has everyone buzzing. A "revelation of legendary proportions" about Dr. Jack? Since we have to sit through another two hours of Jackcentricity, it had better be legendary. Dare we hope for his demise? Discuss, speculate, fantasize.
LOST is picking up steam as it heads for it's stunning two hour finale in May. Locke has joined the Others and the Others - via Juliet - have joined the beach people. We finally know a little bit more about what LOST's mysterious baddies are after, but their intentions, as well as their history with the Dharma Initiative, still remain a mystery. Just how much can we expect to be revealed before LOST leaves the air for another season? Punch on through for an episode by episode break down of what to expect for the remainder of LOST season three!

3.17 - Catch 22 (Desmond Centered)
Desmond gets a flash of the future and enlists Hurley, Charlie, and Jin to join him on a mysterious hike. Hurley becomes suspicious that Desmond may be acting without everybody's best interests in mind. Desmond's vision reference the cable that Sayid, and later Hurley, found in season one. If you'll recall, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse told BuddyTV that a major reveal was coming up concerning that cable later on. This episode will close with Desmond and the gang finding a mysterious parachutist named Naomi who may have compelling information concerning one of the current island occupants.

3.18 - D.O.C (Sun/Jin Centered)
Juliet finds out that Sun is pregnant and tells her that women who conceive on the island could die if they carry to term. Sun responds by telling her that the baby may not have been conceived on the island, in fact it may not even be Jin's child. So the two set off for the medical hatch to try to determine when the baby was conceived. Meanwhile, Desmond and his crew scramble to save the life of the mysterious Naomi and are assisted by an old enemy, seems eye patch guy survived the fence after all.

3.19 - The Brig (Locke Centered)
Locke slips away from the others and lures Sawyer away from the beach. Flashbacks will reveal what Locke has been up to with the others since they abandoned their 'village'. In a secluded Dharma holding cell, Locke will bring Sawyer together with Anthony Cooper for a fateful encounter that will resolve a long standing season one mystery. Meanwhile, Naomi will return to the beach with some alarming information concerning flight 815, but can she be trusted?

3.20 - The Man Behind the Curtain (Ben Centered)
The past of the island is explored including how Dharma came to be there, why, and what the fateful 'purge' was really all about. Flashbacks will show Ben through various ages up until adulthood. The mysterious 'Jacob' will finally be revealed, and the question of whether any Dharma members still live will be revealed.

3.21 - The Truth About Lying / The Greatest Hits (Charlie Centric)
Rescue is finally at hand for the survivors of Oceanic 815, but first someone must reconnect an underwater sonar beacon. Despite his foretold death, Charlie volunteers. Copious rumors suggest that Charlie dies in this episode, but some new rumors I've been hearing suggest that this is a huge misdirection and there will be another highly unexpected major character death instead.

3.22/3.23 - Through the Looking Glass (Jack Centric)
This episode promises a Jack revelation of legendary proportions! Also, there will finally be an en masse collision between the beach folk and the Other's. On the speculation end of things, folks are saying that the island folk will split into two factions themselves, one led by Jack, and one by Sawyer, but the division will be at the will of another, and for purposes no one will expect. Read more...

The Riddle of the Sphinx

Who is Juliet?

This is the sixty four billion dollar question, isn't it? And it's not as if we got any answers this episode. Juliet is a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a very pale, blue eyed blank slate of a face. To be fair to her, the girl has been through the MILL. I don't think there's any doubt there. I mean, we haven't seen her daddy issue yet, but where would they even fit it in. She's some kind of idiot savant genius who married a cruel control freak who she wished into being hit by a bus. She is a loving sister



who nonetheless abandoned her family for her career...And man, is she a devoted employee.



...She's also Ben's confidante who continuously trusts and conspires with Ben



despite him repeatedly tricking her and backing out on his deals with her. That's where the idiot part comes into the savant, I guess. She's devious. She's trusting. She's angry



She's flirty.



She's vulnerable.



She's cold.



She has one very special talent - she makes this guy



actually bearable to watch. (Well, sorta.) And most of all she's someone



who wants to go home. Because there's no place like home...So maybe she's just innocent, little Dorothy? ... Um, no. I think that would be a faulty assumption. This chick is hardcore.



The first annual "Finally Someone Asks a Question" Awards:

2nd Runner Up: What the hell is SHE doing here?



Not only did they ask the right question up front here, but for once they gave us a bit of answer. Juliet's trip to the beach was planned long ago, when Ethan did his creepy medical experiments on poor, pretty Clare. It seems the girl brought home a souvenir and didn't even know it, a handy little implant the Others can trigger when it suits them for her to sicken and bleed and die. There goes the last thread holding up Ben's "We're the good guys" claim. Of course, this was all timed so Juliet could revive the little mommy and establish her bona fides with the gang. But still...why? Why does she need their trust? What is she going to do to them? How will this help her get home? And why is this friggin doofus



so willing to help her do it?

1st Runner Up: Who are you people and why are you terrorizing us?



OK, when the great Sayid finally broke the ice and asked this simplest of all questions, my jaw all but dropped off my face. Baby, I thought you'd never ask! I mean, Jack spent a week being fed sandwiches and cartoons by Juliet and he never thought to ask it. Locke waltzed around Ben's cottage appraising the upholstery and he never thought to ask it. Kate spent a day and a night joined at the wrist, with Juliet at her complete mercy and couldn't form a thought more coherent than "does Jack still like me?" It took Sayid to speak for the unwashed masses out here and just ASK. And he might have gotten an answer too, if it hadn't been for Dr. Dickhead breaking on the scene. Which leads to our next question.

First Place: Why are you siding against every one of US and sticking up for one of THEM?



Go, Sawyer! Man, this was a great moment. More of these please. Sawyer standing down St. Jackass. I could watch that every week...And he asks a damn good question. Why is Juliet under Jack's protection? Is it because he wants her under something else? Or because he likes her jokes? Like when she joked about lying to Kate and dragging her through the jungle. Jack liked that a lot.



Or maybe he's one step ahead of her, keeping his enemy close. In which case it's a little odd that he chose the place for her tent



right where she could sit above them all and keep her eagle eye on them. That was nice of Jack. Maybe they're just getting each other home, like they say they are. Or maybe....just like Juliet is cutting her separate deal,



so is The Doctor formerly known as a Saint. Where was he the night after the sub exploded? While Juliet was cutting her kitchen table deal with Ben? Why did it take this burly dude 24 times as long to wake up from the gas as it took those two skinny girls? What is this fucker really up to? Come on, LOST, don't cop out on us. Promise us you're going somewhere cool with Jack. Because really, we have put up with this obnoxious schmuck long enough.



It's time for the payoff. Do you get me? I. Am. Serious.

Let's compare Reunion Scenes, shall we?

When Jack and Kate reunited we got dark interiors.



We got tears. We got Kate on her knees in handcuffs. We got Jack in charge, blaming her for his decision to run away and leave them all. We got Kate apologizing and degrading herself. Remember that? Wasn't it sweet?

When Sawyer and Kate reunited we got sunlight. We got the beach. We got the sweet, beautifully romantic music. We got the world standing still



stepping aside



and witnessing



true, simple, unconditional LOVE.




I don't really think we need to comment any further on this except to say...durrr, this was not a cinematographic accident. They are giving this to us in big bold letters now, boys and girls.Jate = creepy, scary, nasty, dark. Skate= beautiful, warm, sunny, lump in your throat, butterflies in your belly LOVE.

Name a Ship

This is a fun game a lot of online Lost fans seem to enjoy. I think this episode really gave us quite a windfall:

I mean we did get the always smoking hot Jate moment where they...broke dead wood and mumbled.



That was ... dull, as usual.

And there were some touching PB&J moments,



although they continue to have all the sexual charisma of a pair of second graders sharing naptime.

There was a little Julyid...



...talk about eye sex, eh?

And if you want hand sex, I think you have to give at least a look to Suliet now.



Can't deny the chemistry.

There was some Goodiet



which shouldn't be tossed aside, just because Goodwin is a little bit non living. True shipperss don't let those minor details dissuade them. After all Darlton do keep promising a zombie season.

And for those who are into those kind of things, there was actually a millisecond of Jawyer.



And of course Jack continues his adorable pattern of being involved in totally twisted, mentally ill relationships.



If anything, this episode only gave the Jacketeers more grist for their ever twisting mill.

But in the end, as always, there was really only one romantic moment that made your stomach flip.



Ahhhhh.....

But back to business. What IS Juliet's game? What is Ben's game? More importantly, what is Jack's game? In the end, it probably all comes down to this.



People do not survive plane crashes like this. Not all intact and unharmed and pretty like our characters here have. Someone wants these people. But who? And why?

We don't know yet. But one thing we do know is that the fix



is definitely in. Read more...