ATTACK OF THE STALKER GEESE

It was brought to our attention on the Fishelage this morning that a good friend of ours -the perpetually angry FLYER61055 who also posts at SpoilerTV as the passive aggressive poster child, KATIEB - was having a little bit of a meltdown at an emergency meeting of the Society of Matthew Foxy's Matrons:

A Message for My Stalker Geese

Dear stalker geese,

I was not banned from the Fuselage, I asked Karri nicely to please delete my account without giving a reason or explanation, just a kind please and thank you for your trouble and the "ZOMG you are banned for life" was the response I got because they are drama queens at the Fuselage. As much as I would love to be as big of a loser as you are and spend all my time hating a fictional character as well as the actor that portrays the character and wasting the rest of my time obessing over what a bunch of losers like yourselves have to say I'm afraid I will just never be able to match any of you on the loser scale.

The only time I read your babbling nonsense is when someone pollutes my board with it. You know that private forum that you can't get to and it pisses you off because you're just sure we're spending all of our time trashing Sawyer or Josh Holloway. I can assure you that Sawyer and Josh are never brought up. We tend to spend our time discussing the characters we find interesting and Sawyer stopped being interesting about 3/4 of the way through season 1. As much as I'd love to hate Kate as you say I do, I can't exert that much energy into caring about her one way or another and I don't think I've ever wanted JATE to win, win, win. Win what? For the last time you silly geese, I am a Jack fan...............PERIOD. I don't care which woman warms his sheets and truth be told, ask anyone who really knows me, I do prefer Juliet over Kate, but I don't let Jack's relationships influence my enjoyment of the show.

I realize that after years of honking mercilessly and believing your nonstop babbling and being constant agitators would actually influence the direction the show would take only to finally have to accept that MF is the star of the show and isn't going anywhere must've been difficult for you, but honestly, do you really have nothing better to do with your time then hate on people? It's so pathetic.

I will say that I do hate every nasty and vile thing you represent and enjoy every bit of misery the show bestows upon you, because you do deserve it, but I don't seek out and read the nonsense you post on public forums and I don't have a membership to FBL (Frightening Babbling Lunatics). If I did, I'd post this message to you there, but being anywhere near FBL makes me feel very dirty and in need of a shower so I stay very far away.

I do often wonder how people spend their days being so awful and miserable. I think that would be exhausting and I can't imagine why you continue to tune into a show that you hate so much. Was Sawyer's hour of screentime last season really worth the obvious misery you seemed to be in? Is Sawyer's hour of screentime worth more of the same misery? Wouldn't it be easier to just wait for the DVDs and FF through the actual show, which is what most of you seem to do anyway.

I'm really not an interesting person and am certainly not worth the time you spend discussing me. How big of a loser does one have to be to have nothing better to talk about than me?

OUCH!

I think it was really sweet of the Flying Katie B to send us all a letter and I can partly see her point, especially the part about not being so interesting. She does sound like a really mediocre overaged fangirl addicted to a really bland middle aged actor. Still I can't help but have a few questions.

1. If she wasn't BANNED from the Fuselage, why was she ZOMG BANNED? For being so polite to Karri? And why did she ask to be removed? Couldn't she just, like, quit posting there? What? She couldn't control herself unless they removed her name from their rolls?

2. She thinks it's pathetic to hate on people, but she does "hate every nasty and vile thing you represent"...So...um...she finds herself pathetic then? 

3. If she doesn't pollute her beautiful mind with geese droppings, why did she pour out that frantic screed less than two hours after these posts on the Fishelage (most of which she has copied verbatim):

Since getting banned at the Fuse, I guess Flyer/Katieb has decided to fight with DarkUFO instead. What a loser.

I think she hates Kate but hates Skaters even more. She wants Jate to Win Win Win, not because she enjoys them, but because she desperately needs to have the "geese" lose. Same with Claudia. They're both obsessed with geese it seems, maybe even more than they are with Lost.

I'm sorry Flyer feels so frightened by us, but maybe one of her genius buddies can explain to her that this is the internets...we're all virtual peoples here and there's no meanie Geese hiding under her bed. Personally I'd be more nervous hanging around with the kind of looney old kook who has homicidal fantasies like this one (from  the most pretentiously grandiloquent of them all, The Sacrifice the Island Demanded):

I want to marry this post. No, I want to copy it 1,000 times, and enter into polygamous marriage with every one of them so I could have them all in one glorious goose-killing harem of joyful sanity. No wait, I would keep one out, then take it to a laboratory, and pay a scientist to distill it down to its essence, bottle it in a spray, carry the spray in my purse like mace, and spray it in the face of every one of the fucking daddy-hating, emotionally stunted, sex-starved, double-digit IQ, basement-dwelling morons you are discussing in your post.

Come on Katie B! With a Frightening Babbling Lunatic like that as your friend, you're honestly afraid of ...GEESE?

We're not buying it. We know you're just jealous. We're flattered that our good opinion means so very, very much to you and it's easy to see why that is. We actually get to have fun and we don't have to hide out in stinky old hidey holes. We don't even mind that you stalk us and hang on our every word. But you don't need to be hating on us, Katie girl. Come on up. Don't crawl around in hidey holes. Fly out in the open like a Goose! The air's much sweeter at our altitude.