Not to be missed...

For those of you already experiencing the deprivation-of-Lost blues, here's something to cheer you up... I give you Lost, Season 3 Recap by ack_attack... this girl has one fine sense of humor. If she doesn't put a smile on your face, you may need your head/eyes/sensory nervous system examined!

Some of my personal favorites:

"And Kate was like "Jack I came to save you mmkay?" And Jack was like "I AM A HUGE DICKFACE! And oh btw meet my new GF, she is hawt. And makes me sammiches." "

"And then Jack is just like IF YOU THOUGHT YOU HATED ME BEFORE, WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE HOW I REACT TO THIS!"

Then the "*crickets*" thrown in for good measure.
As for the recurring Juliet motif... So she's good. No, she's bad. Good. Bad. Good. Nope, definitely bad. Good.... maybe. Hilarious, cracks me up!

http://ack-attack.livejournal.com/370261.html#cutid1 Read more...

Take the Red or Blue Pill, Jack? Finale Post-Mortem

I may have been completely spoiled for the finale, but it still managed to be one hell of a ride.

We now have definitive proof that Jate sure ain't Fate. Jack looking like a Una-bomber wannabe was amusing as all get out. What was his big mistake? What have they been lying about in the FF? Whose funeral was it? R.I.P. Charlie Pace, you done good. Skate angst = complications galore to take us through next season. Jacket kiss leaves Jack with a goofy smile. "Because I love you" - random, dude, but thanks for sticking up for Sawyer. Hurley, Sawyer and Sayid kicking Other ass. So much to digest. Who was Ben warning about? Is rescue really coming or something more sinister? WAAAAAALT!


Rose: "If you say Live Together, Die Alone one more time, I'm gonna punch you in the face." Best. Line. Ever.

So, what were the highlights, the lowlights, the hmmm interesting parts for you? Read more...

On Your Marks

Get Set - -

GO.

Per Kristin:

Allison in Tallahassee: How many boxes of Depends will we need when watching the finale of Lost?!

If you haven’t been reading spoilers (and for your sakes, I really hope you all haven’t!), I’d hit up Costco and bring a truckload of 'em. The format of the show is a-changin'…Yeee! I'm also hearing that one of the three main actors might not be in every episode next season. I'll let you know more as I hear it.


Do we dare hope? Read more...

The Greatest Hits

Did you cry? Maybe tear up just a little? What did it for you? Charlie giving his ring to baby Aaron? Leaving Claire with such a sweet kiss? Hugging that big old bear Hurley? Weakening as he finally faced his fate in the boat with Des...before he showed his true hero's heart?

I know nobody's going to freak about Jack's limp little I love you in the promo. Right? RIGHT? Kate looked like she felt so sorry for him there, and we all know she doesn't say it back. Looks like finale fish are being thrown to the seals again, in what has become a predictable Lost tradition. Jump, Jaters! Here comes your last dried fishhead of the season! Read more...

Caption Contest!

Okay, so maybe I'll be crying into my beer and cheetos with the rest of the pessimists by the time the finale draws to a close. But seriously, right now, I'm not the least bit concerned about Jack finally possibly ponying up to Kate.
I mean, look at what people are ranting over:
Jack's overwhelmingly romantic 'I love you face':



Kate's shockingly emotive reaction to the news?:


This is it, this is their big moment? Call me an optimist but this looks like much ado about nothing. I guess we'll see for sure come next Wednesday night. It really begs for a caption competition, doesn't it? Thanks to Lyly Ford for the caps, and LF for giving me the idea.

So, let's hear the scintillating dialogue for this upcoming epic scene. Read more...

Drunkards, Flashforwards, and Rescues Oh My...

Well, all you spoiler-whores -hounds out there are probably going mad with the buzz over the latest air-drop of Finale spoilers from above. Who's this Lostfan108? And how come someone called Smokemonster posted the synopsis first? How come AICN took down Smokemonster's post and subsequent comments? How come DarkUFO posted the same synopsis but with the author being Lostfan108 who allegedly emailed him? How come DocArzt from the Tailsection is now railing so publicly about it, lending weight to its validity?
Could this be for real? Or are we the victims of the most elaborate, ingenious and memorable Lost Finale foiler or Producer sanctioned fake-out to date?
For those who don't care if they are spoiled out the wazoo here is a link to the spoiler/foilers in question:

DARKUFO'S" POST - WARNING VERY DETAILED SPOILERS ENTER AT OWN RISK.

There are some big inconsistencies and holes in these synopses, but also a lot of plausible stuff too. I'm not exactly freaking out about the implications, although I suspect a lot of fan-boys are creaming themselves over it.
The best part? Jack as a suicidal, drug addicted, thieving, stalking drunk. STILL yelling at Kate. And Kate blowing him off big time. Might be worth it just to watch that part.

For comparison, here's last year's big finale foiler that had everyone freaking. Same guy? Similar timing? Who knows.

Foiler poster: Got this from a friend that is usually right. Joined this forum to share it. Take it for what you wanta take it for.
SPOILERS - S3 FINALE

Survivors think they are being rescued when they see the boat.Jack swims out to the boat. Desmond is inside the bunker.
They bring him ashore.
Desmond has tons of booze with him. And a dark secret.Jack asks him where he was, what he did....During the 23 days he was gone, Desmond managed to fix his sailboat and sail off the island. Jack asks him what he isn't telling them.
We get FLASHBACKS of Desmond's life before the island, and when he first crashed there. Notable points here would be that Desmond was married to a girl named Penny, Libby was married to Charles Widmore, and Desmond borrowed Libby's boat for 200 grand for his race around the world.Desmond also made the glow-in-the-dark map in the hatch. And Kelvin is, or was, the twin of a certain Joe Inamn, CIA man from Sayid's flashbacks. We see Kelvin drag Desmond to the hatch, type in the button, show Desmond the film, and Desmond begins pushing the button as well.
Present day,At night Jack and Sayid come up with a plan involving Desmond's boat.Desmond disappears off into the jungle, heading for the hatch.
The next day, Jack and gang load up to go.The 5 survivors depart. Charlie tells Hurley good luck.Michael leads them off.
In the hatch,Eko continues to push the button.Locke enters and they talk.Locke laughs that he still pushes the button.Eko says he is a man of faith.
Jack Kate Michael Sawyer and Hurley make their way though the jungle.They begin to pass though what Hurley says is the Dark Territory.There are MANY fallen trees around them.
They camp for the night. Michael talks about how these people have harmed the survivors, particularly the 5 of them. Killed Shannon Libby, etc. etc.
Locke and Eko are having their discussion in the hatch. Locke argues with Eko on how he thought this place was destinty, that the island built him up just to knock him down, it is all an experiment.Locke tells him he plans to see what happens when the button reaches zero once and for all. He wants to make sure he is right. Eko doesn't agree with this.
Desmond reaches the hatch and talks with Locke and Eko inside. He seems pissed.Asks Locke if he continued to push the button. Locke says yes.Desmond doesn't believe that Locke pushed it.
Atop one of the hills, Jack and gang find a big pile of tubes from the Pearl hatch.
Michael tells them they aren't far now and gotta keep going.He leads them to the the spot where Zeke and The Others captured him.
THE WHISPERING RETURNS.They begin to hear whispering.LOTS of it this time.
Jack yells out that it's a trap when he spots one of them in the trees.They all open fire on, it would seem they are surrounded.
There is another lockdown inside the hatch. We don't know why, but could this be some sort of final test?Locke is trapped inside the Geodome with Desmond. Eko is locked out.Eko yells at Locke that he can't let the timer reach zero, but Locke has other ideas.The timer is at 107 minutes.
Bernard talks with Claire and the baby, inquiring on what the vaccine is for. Claire explains to him, they bond.
Sayid talks with Jin and Sun. He formulates a plan with Jin. Sun translates for him. Jin understands.
Eko seeks Charlie's help on the situation in the hatch.He rushes to the beach and tells him they need to go gather the dynamite Charlie knows where it is.
In the Hatch, Desmond and Locke argue about the button. Locke tells Desmond the button is not real, that it was all an experiment of the Dharma Initiative. Desmond screams at him "Don't tell me it isn't real!"Desmond tells Locke that he sailed away from the island.He was going to get them all rescued.But that when he reached land, he discoveredTHERE WAS NO HUMANITY left.Desmond says that the entire world was not there. There was absolutely nothing. He believes that the button is to blame, calling back to what the original Dharma film said. Locke is shaken by this, but thinks Desmond is crazy.The timer is at 43 minutes by now.
Eko and Charlie gather dynamite from the stash and run to the hatch. Eko plans to blow the blast door. Charlie thinks he's off his rocker.Eko believes Desmond that the timer DOES do something when it reaches zero.
MeanwhileJack and gang are all been captured by The Others.They are being led back to the village.
Jin and Sayid have taken Desmond's boat and followed Rousseau's map along the shoreline to where Sayid believes could be the location of The Others. They spot the giant rock with the hole in it.
Sayid sneaks up along the rocks with his gun, Jin trails him.To make it short, they interrupt the party and attack The Others.A fight ensues.Sawyer fights Zeke, and rips his fake beard off. Gives a funny quip here.SAYID IS SHOT, straight in the chest and falls back into the water.
As chaos ensues in the camp, Michael sneaks up to the door in the cliff. There's a Dharma symbol resembling just a door. One of the guards guarding is shot. Michael enters in and closes it behind him.
Inside this room is the BIG reveal.
Back at the hatch,The timer is at 23 minutes.
Eko and Charlie enter in with the dynamite. Set it.
Locke and Desmond argue inside as the timer reaches 15 minutes, 8 minutes, 4 minutes. The beeping starts up real loud.
Eko blows the blast doors; Charlie is knocked against the cement wall unconscious.
Eko runs in to push the button before the time runs out.Locke has knocked Desmond out unconscious with Eko's Jesus stick.Locke and Eko come to fists.
Locke beats Eko to the ground. He takes the stick and SMASHES THE COMPUTER.It's busted. So now there's no stopping the timer.
At the Others camp, Jack Kate Sawyer and Hurley seem to have overpowered The Others.
Inside The Door.Michael finds Walt in here, but is confronted by the FAKE HENRY GALE.Fenry tells Michael everything about what he is seeing right now, I won't tell you this as I don't want to spoil this surprise at least. But it involvers 3 other people, the plane crash, Hanso, and a key. There's a SINGLE monitoring TV inside this room as well. It's a monitor for Station 3. Fenry tells Michael that he needs leave the island now if he wants to escape with Walt. The boat is ready for him in a back exit.
The Timer at the hatch reaches ZERO.
Something DOES happen.
What is it?? You'll see.
And so does Michael and Walt as they escape the island with the boat, leaving everyone else behind.
If you are to believe Desmond, they will find nothing else left.

And finally, because I can't resist a guffaw at Jack's expense... Here's another snarky comment and animation from the talented AliceKarben:

"I'm seeing, just in the very last scene of Lost Finale, all losties being rescued by Naomi's ship, and then something rises up from the deepest sea to scare all survivors.
More terrible than a faux-jack, more scary than Jacobra, he's the Furious JACKNESSY, coming to destroy the ship !!!!!"
Read more...

Take Me To Your Leader

The mystery of Jacob was slipped in the back door this season on Lost, inauspiciously, via a barely audible conversation between two Others guarding Jack. Many fans may not have even noticed that the writers had in fact introduced a major new entity. There has been much speculation since then as to Jacob’s identity and purpose. Is his name a clue – Jacob, the father of the Israelite tribes, whose youngest beloved son was Benjamin? Is he real or a figment of bug-eyed Benny’s overheated imagination? Is he an historical figure for the Others, or someone living and vibrant? What is his power? Who does he control, and how and why?

The figure of a mysterious unseen mastermind, a messianic leader of awesome power, is a longstanding device in television science fiction, and the reveal of this figure is usually a watershed moment in a series. On the original Star Trek, back in those halcyon days of the Sixties when the drugs were vintage, the writers had seemingly superhuman powers to crank out lunatic kings, galaxy-ruling critters and fearsome despots at a pace that would leave the poor Lost writers gasping for air. They never had trouble finding some new incarnation for the Power behind their curtains, be they:

animal…



vegetable…



mineral...



or some combination of all three...



Didn't seem to faze those old style creative types. So how did the Lost wunderkinds meet this challenge? What incarnation did they devise for the long-awaited reveal of the Great Jacob who loves us as God loved him? Look closely now. Here he comes. Jacob is...



A chair... No, wait... A CHAIR?????

Alrighty then. Is it the budget that's depleted or just the imaginations of the writers? What can possibly explain the lameness, the inadequacy, the pure comedy of that scene?

Darlton have said Jacob's role will be a very important one in the story they're telling. The question is, how are they going to get from here



to there?




Will the real Jacob please stand up?

Was there something... or someone in that chair after all? Speculation about a split-second glimpse of Jacob - right at the moment Locke turned his flashlight on him - has been making the rounds on the internet like a parlor game. People have been seeing all kinds of clues in the fluffy haired apparition:



The person I’m seeing the closest resemblance to is someone along the lines of this guy:



Ram Dass, once a commune-pioneering buddy of Timothy Leary, is a well-known Maui-based American teacher of Eastern philosophy who was known in his pre-Vedic days as Richard Alpert. No kidding. So that’s my guess right now, folks. Our Richard Alpert gets to walk the beach like Dorian Gray while his incorporeal molecules stay captive in Ben’s boyhood clubhouse, yearning to break free. Hey, it’s a better guess than some I’ve seen! Namaste!


Dharmic Dystopia

This episode gave us Ben’s back story. Nothing special. You all know the drill by now. Bad childhood. Shitty dad.



Little Ben actually managed to kill his mother by the mere accident of his birth which - as fans of Liar Ben might have suspected - did not happen on the island at all, but rather in a very green forest in warm, sunny Oregon... in late December. (I think we need to acknowledge that attention to detail was not the strong point of this particular episode). Grieved over his wife's death even years later, Ben’s dad was a very angry man. In his misery, he forgot one of life’s basic rules of thumb:



Never believe travel agency brochures. Or recruitment posters.

He took his son and his mad beer habit off to the uncharted island, hoping for a better life. But this was not the hippy-dippy freaky-deaky fun kind of Merry Pranksters commune he might have been hoping for.



These jumpsuited automatons took their cues more from the kibbutzim tradition of communal utopias. And that looks like SO much less fun. Where were the bongs? The free love? The tie dyed saris? These poor suckers really got the short end of the counter-cultural stick, but it seemed to suit young Ben somehow.



This kid didn’t have a cool bone in his body. We saw that he came by his taste for man-purses very early in life,



that he always dressed like a doughy-pantsed Mr. Milquetoast,



that his “great education” came from a teacher who didn’t even know how to make a baking soda volcano,



and that his resentment of his wet-brained birthday-forgetting old fart of a father eventually drove him to join the Kill Your Dad club, which as we know is quite an active fraternity on this island.



The early Dharmians bore all the hallmarks of a destructive cult. They planted themselves in the midst of “hostiles” but misjudged their own defensive abilities, much as the early American settlers who were massacred in Jamestown. So the Dharmians were finally purged.



The imagery was far more reminiscent of the modern cult disaster at Jonestown. These hostiles at least dressed somewhat more like 60s hippies, though we learned little more about them than that. Their leader, the kohl eyed Richard Alpert, also had the kind of physical appearance we tend to associate with charismatic leaders.



Something Ben most decidedly is not.



In fact, it would seem Ben had almost no qualities commonly associated with leaders. Even as an adult he looks a lot more like the cartoon character Doug than like a man to inspire devotion. We never learned what caused Richard to anoint Little Ben as their Dalai Lama-esque Chosen One. We never learned when Ben created the myth that he was an Island Baby. All we really know about Young Ben is that he was a Friend of Jacob, maybe Jacob’s only friend.



And that brings us, unfortunately, back to that Comedy Shack where Jacob the Chair is left to while away his days like Howard Hughes with his pee bottles, surrounded by rings of volcanic ash, waiting for Ben to come and play.


The Usurper?

Let's talk about Ben's visitor. Following upon the events of "The Brig", Ben seemed unpleasantly surprised when Locke showed up with his Bag o' Bad Dad.



He looked even less happy when a very self-assured Locke started giving him orders, punctuating them with a timely beat-down on the skeptical Mikhail,



who turned out not to be most sincerely dead after all. Was the killer fence only set on "stun"? Or are some of these people not only ageless, but immortal as well? Interestingly, neither Tom nor Richard responded to Ben's order to intervene.



and there he shot Locke at point-blank range,



causing him to fall on top of the rotting remains of those long ago Dharma employees.



And that's where we left our badly wounded Mystical Island Man this week.



But will Locke really die?



Or will he - as we all hope - arise again, proven worthy of yet another new destiny on this mysterious island?



I think it just might turn out that his diabolical father saved his life by stealing that kidney. An irony that cosmic can only be found on Lost.

Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson gave their usual excellent performances, and yes, I'm ignoring the cheese - not their fault.


Now, on the subject of leaders unworthy of their mystique, it’s time to address the issue of:

The Decider



That would be Jack. You know, the “lead” on this show, the guy who has had about 10 minutes of screentime in the last two months and has done really nothing of importance since he showed his character assessment skills by trusting his good friend Ben with the lives of Kate and Sayid. Sayid hasn’t forgotten what happened last time he trusted Jack.



And now Sayid has the goods on him, finally, and the long awaited showdown has arrived. Dr. Smug has been keeping a deadly secret from his “friends” all this time he’s been chatting and snacking and picking out linen patterns with his new sweetie, Juliet-the-Other. Nothing important. Just that some of the women may have exploding uteruses.



We can understand why Kate is biting her nails,



and her boyfriend is looking mighty worried.



No rush, though, for Jack to hand over any of this secret intel since the Others aren’t coming until, oh, tomorrow night!



Some have questioned whether there are allegories written into Lost that make it relevant to the American post-9/11 experience and I can’t say I’ve ever seen any myself. Until this. It’s hard to ignore the parallel with a smug, secretive leader of proven incompetence making unilateral decisions for a people in crisis. And there’s a delicious irony in the fact that the people calling out this Decider-in-Chief are an Iraqi and a Red State cowboy who claims he’s never voted Democrat.


I don’t know if the writers have stumbled on this parallel or planted it deliberately, but either way the point seems clear. As of this moment, Dr. Hewhowalksamongstusbutisnotofus has become nothing more than the Hero as Empty Suit.



From the looks of next week's promo, these people have been blindly following a "hero" whose best laid plan amounts to.... "Let's wait til they come and then beat them up."



Let's hope the price they pay for following this leader isn't too steep.


Questions and Answers: a Ratio

A lot of people liked this episode. Allegedly it gave answers. But did it?



Dharma questions answered, = very few.
We still don't know why they came to the island in particular, or if they're still there.



Hostiles questions raised = many.
We don't know who they are, if they're immortal, if they've subsumed Dharma, why they thrive on patricide or what their current agenda might be.



Ben questions answered = too many?
The allure of this character has been his mystique. Stripped of that, he’s just another guy with Daddy issues and an over-sized ego. Like the Wizard, he's so much less impressive once we've seen behind the curtain. Will they be able to replace the mystique with something else to keep this character interesting?

Overall, I'm thinking that the question to answer ratio is still unreasonably high for a show that’s going to be doled out through an eyedropper over the next three long years.



The Creators have been making the media rounds again lately, and one of the things they’ve been warning us about is that the show next year is going to change radically, perhaps into an entirely different show. I don’t know what to make of that. It’s not going to be a show about plane crash survivors on a freaky island of mystery any longer? Is it going to be a show about doctors and lawyers who solve crimes and have sex in broom closets? Are they all going to get jobs on a passing cruise ship and start helping lonely-hearts find e-Harmony?



What are we in for with Lost v2.0? It's almost scary to contemplate.

It’s not just that last week’s episode reminded me of what a magnificent human drama this show could be. It’s not just that the Jacob reveal was such a finky little dud. It’s not just that I didn’t even gasp when Locke, one of my favorite characters, ended up shot in a ditch full of corpses. (I don’t think for a second he’s dead.) Or that the cardboard hero Jack is an empty suit that’s become dead weight in an otherwise stellar cast. It’s all of it together I guess, but I’m just feeling unimpressed at the moment. I hope I’m proven terribly wrong. I hope when I look back after the finale, I don’t see something like this in the rear view mirror:

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