Now that's Iconic

I thought it might be nice to share with you some of the fun icons made at the Fishelage by some of our more graphically talented fishbitches. As you can imagine the ridiculous Proxy Server accusations from the Bubblehead camp over the Tater Top Polls got people's creative juices a-flowing. Feel free to snag away and have a good chuckle.

The Jaters call us Proxy-cheats, or Diabolical Pig-Porn Loving Terrorist Geese-Roaches (tm Zoriah) and we make icons to laugh about it...Aren't we just the meanspirited dregs of society?

Icekat:



Demy:




Iamme:




xgirlnxd:




Jo:






My apologies to the originator of the Jate(r) icons, I can't seem to find them and wanted to feature them too. Contact me, okay?



Not to be outdone, some Bubblehead who clearly is still clutching their little blankie and crying "Mama!" at the Tater Top results, came up with these beauties.

Warning - Angry Jate icons

Can't you just smell the bile coming off of these? And so frakking witty too. I mean, seriously, does she think we're bragging about using proxy servers? Who's being the surfacey thinker now?



Maybe Bubbleheads just don't have a single funny-bone in their body. I think that must be it.

I'm sure there are hundreds of hilariously funny and entertaining Skate icons out there, why not post some of your favorites here and share the giggles with your fellow fishbitches? I know I'd love to see 'em. Read more...

REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN!

Our good friend, Dark UFO, who has created the most comprehensive and entertaining Lost fan board on the Internet, has come up with a truly stellar game that every single Lost fan can enjoy once the season starts. It's called the Dark UFO Fantasy League and I urge you all to run over and register for it HERE

You pick seven characters from seven groupings and during the season you will gain and lose points according to events that involve the characters you've picked. It's quite a challenge of your Lost knowledge, your understanding of the characters and your forecasting talents. It also makes watching the show an even more fun, interactive experience. And apparently there will even be prizes!

So run, don't walk, over to Dark UFO and get your submissions in while there's still time. Once true spoilers start rolling in, Dark will be forced to close down registration. So don't procrastinate...This kind of game reminds us that Lost is never about only one character or one ship. Believe it or not - it can also be just plain old FUN! Read more...

THE ATTACK OF THE KILLER PROXY SERVERS

Now that we’ve all come down a little from our Tater Tops High, I think some cold, hard analysis of the results is in order. It may seem obvious to us that a crushing TEN TO ONE VICTORY on a poll that was open equally and freely to any surfer of the great worldwide internets speaks very loudly for itself. But, you know, we’re biased. Maybe TEN TO ONE isn’t as clearcut as it seems. It may be that we need our helpful Jater friends to tell us what the results REALLY meant.

It would seem that Sawyer and Kate weren’t the crushing winners we thought they were at all. In fact, the whole thing was a vast conspiratorial illusion fueled by a demonic force known as PROXY SERVERS! What are PROXY SERVERS, you ask? I noticed a few intrepid Skaters asking just this question on the Fuselage. And – not unexpectedly – they got the usual fist in the face from that ever helpful “moderator”, Halfrek:

"proxies are clearly mentioned and defined in the Rules/FAQ…if you don’t know what proxies are then read RULES especially the part about IP Masking"

Got that? Just because you don’t have a degree in Contract Law and/or a fish-eye magnifying glass with which to read the ever-shifting RULES/FAQ of the Fuse doesn’t give you an excuse to not understand the mechanics of PROXY SERVERS. Hey! Jaters know all about them! It’s almost like they …uh, use them all the freakin time!
Kristin had preemptively flummoxed the Jaters by pulling the rug out from under their predictable whining when she announced:

"These awards were based on the nominations and votes YOU users sent in, from top to bottom. We also used a filter that prevented people from rigging the results by voting multiple times."

But this hardly put a speed bump in their campaign.
Dripping with smugness,Shoegirl was "saddened" that Kristin chose to defend herself. She explained that her innate perfection makes her privy to the “truth” of how she knows that thousands upon thousands of utter strangers managed to rig a vote to a TEN TO ONE margin of victory:

"Kristin defended her poll, and she made an attempt to make it fair, but you can't identify votes that come in on PROXY SERVERS. By the wildly, over the top percentages, it becomes obvious that PROXY SERVER were used in this voting. See if Kristin can without any doubt prove that PROXY SERVER weren't used…. I believe I undersatnd what happened, what is the truth."

The ubiquitous posting machine known as DocLover is even more certain:

"it's called the tater top awards. But don't pay any attention to it because it's not a fair vote at all. People went to proxy sites and voted like 30 times in 5 minutes (probably more)... but whatever. It's not even worth looking at. But in case you want to it's at E!OnLine and Kristen did it. What a coincidence!"

30 times in 5 minutes? Probably more? And when you consider there are 288 five minute intervals in each day, and this poll ran for about 30 days, that's like 8,640 five minute intervals, at 30 votes apiece, that means each and every one of you had the opportunity to vote about 260,000 times! …Yikes! I'm ashamed of you Skaters! How did you only manage to win this by a mere 71% to 7%? You slackers! Were your PROXY SERVERS malfunctioning or something?
Now all this bashing of Kristin and baseless accusation of fellow Fuseleers surely drew in the mods to correct such flagrant RULES violation, right?...Nah! In fact, Majandra chimed in to give them a helping hand at the bashfest:

"You don't even have to go through the trouble of going to proxy sites (which is illegal, afaik). Cleaning out our cookies is actually enough... using different browsers helps as well."

And poor Mystic, banned from the Fuse, was forced to take her patented bitterness and ill temper straight into Kristin’s own house:

"Congrats to the winners who won without Proxy voting and daily voting. And congrats to the folks who won Second Place in the categories where it was obvious that happened -- YOU were the true winners."

Er…pssst… Mystic. Who were you congratulating there? All the other couples that also beat Jack and Kate?
Some Skaters, understandably, took their questions public. What in the hell are PROXY SERVERS anyway? And even though page upon page had gone by on the Couch endlessly trashing the Skaters for abusing a device of which they seem to have no knowledge (the idiots!) , Majandra took a break from egging on the Jaters and nipped that off topic inquisitiveness in the bud:

"Google is your friend (or wikipedia)…Stay on topic, please. "

Wasn’t it nice of her to say “please”?
The question does arise as to why the Jaters were so quick to be pointing the PROXY SERVER finger, considering the average Internet user can’t define what a frakking server is, let alone a “proxy”one. Is it possible that this is the technique the Jaters have employed to cheat their asses off on every possible poll they could these many years? After all, it’s not as if the Jaters are strangers to the concept of cheating. A recent imbroglio at the Fuse, for instance, exposed cheating on some frivolous Chit Chat shipper polls. Seems there were a number of fraudulent votes, multiple IP addresses…Cheaters. And it seems that those cheaters were ..um, ALL Jaters. Every last stinking one.
So how are the geniuses of the Couch so smugly certain that only Skaters took advantage of the equal opportunity PROXY SERVER monster? It's because they are good, you see, while we, of course, are very, very bad.
Shoegirl explains:

"And hatred, ill will, meanness, are not the things to aspire to, no matter how you wrap it or try to sugar coat it… I believe I undersatnd what happened, what is the truth. And truth, honesty, peace, ethics and honor are what I want to represent, as a fan, as a human being."

You see, Jaters aren’t just girly little shippers. They are holy warriors in the Crusade for Truth, Honesty, Peace, Ethics and Honor! This is not just fun for her, this is her life! Of course in the same breath Shoegirl managed to call Kristin “toxic”...and a liar...and she did accuse the winners in the poll of being lowlife hating cheaters. But hey, that’s just her personal style of being PEACEFUL! She never said she was against Smugness, Sanctimony or Self Righteousness, did she? It's not like she misrepresents her magnificent self. Uberimma *Latin word for Pompous Ass*

OK, it makes sense the Jaters were embarrassed. After all, this was a humiliating defeat. Since nothing whatsoever prevented the Jaters from using the PROXY SERVERS they are clearly so familiar with, the hugely disproportionate results are a stunning exhibit of just how very certain the vast General Audience is about which romantic couple they want to watch on Lost. And not all Jaters were doing the PROXY SERVER lockstep…Some of them came up with different excuses.

You could make quite a drinking game out of this, though I don't advise it. Your liver will never forgive you.

We have the “It’s only chemistry” defense:

"By the way, I don't know if it matters but the question was about best chemistry, not about best lovestory, or who you want to be with who, or anything. I often think that viewes tend to confuse Sawyer's personal sexual charm with Skate chemistry.."

There’s the “Polls don’t matter” defense:

"Stop worrying about polls.at least,the Kristin ones where you can vote all the times you want.We know what makes sense for THE SHOW and tptb said it themselves "we learnt that we have to give justice to the characteters and the story,even tho some people may not like it".. do you REALLY think that they're 'interested in the results'. LMAO! yeah,sure Kristin,they SO are. I bet right now,they're changing the plot of season 4 to give sawyer and kate some more sex. Please. "

There’s the “The General Audience loves Jate” defense:

"The "general audience" knows what's what. And the "general audience" rarely vote on those polls, if at all, because if they did Jate would blow everyone away! Those polls, and any one's from here on out, are so skewed, and the fact that it's even been admitted should make you feel better"

There's the "Good Poll Bad Poll" defense :

"If you want to see some real polls with winners, where no questionable voting was going on, let me know."

(Hey, DocLover, let us know...Please!)

There’s the “Skristin” defense:

"I was worried because the owner of the polls is a MAJOR Skater. (She is a journalist and very biased when it comes to ships on Lost.)"

There’s the “It’s all about me” defense:

"I know I didn't vote in that poll, I didn't even know about it and I DON'T vote in online polls ever because they are pointless."

There’s the “I’m very confused” defense:

"I don't think D&C would be satisfied to see that their man couple obtains only 7 %!"

And last but never least, there’s the ever ready "Jate is Fate" defense:

"Jack & Kate are IT guys... and no poll will ever change that."

Bottoms up, sailors!

So basically, Jaters don’t care about polls. You know, except when they do:
Kirsten's Poll thing is on line VOTE VOTE VOTE !!!.....

...I'>http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w78/fishbiscuit_photos/Pemail.gif">...I say we all vote for the Sarah and Michael kiss so that the skate kiss won't win. Mwahaha......For'>http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w78/fishbiscuit_photos/Putergirl.gif">...For the best kiss I'm not sure who it was I voted for, except that it wasn't Skate, neither was best show of flesh, that went to Nathan Petreilli... ... Done my daily vote! Come oooooon Jabies!!!.......gogogogo!its'>http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w78/fishbiscuit_photos/Pemail.gif">...gogogogo!its jexy......Voted'>http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w78/fishbiscuit_photos/Puter2.gif">...Voted... multiple times.........I'>http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w78/fishbiscuit_photos/Pemail.gif">.....I didn't know there's such a campaign for the Kristin's poll, LOL, but I'm helping you for a while already 'Cause I vote there for what's not Skate (And usually for what's not Lost, Anyways, guys, we REALLY have to win this category this time!!! Come on, keep voting!!!!! it deserves it, like Charlie's "greatest hits" being the saddest )........Anyways'>http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w78/fishbiscuit_photos/Putergirl.gif">....Anyways, guys, we REALLY have to win this category this time!!! Come on, keep voting!!!!!
So, we can at least assume that the little darlings were...y'know, voting!
BTW, if all your PROXY SERVERS are getting rusty and would like an opportunity to vote another quarter million times apiece, why not wander over to TWOP's annual TUBEY awards. Lost has quite a few nominations in the final ten fields, voted on from ALL member submissions - an honor in and of itself, considering the vast size of TWOP's membership and the sweeping scope of both network and cable television that it covers. So who exactly did the Non Shipping General Audience nominate over there on TWOP, the land of ultra stringent IP control, the land where cheaters are not just banned but frozen into giant ice cubes and shot into outer space to float for all eternity (or something like that)? This would seem to be a nice test of the validity of poor, slandered Kristin's results.
You can find all the links right HERE.http://fishbiscuitland.s4.bizhat.com/viewtopic.php?t=250&start=120&mforum=fishbiscuitland">HERE.> You can vote for Sawyer for Favorite Character. Jack for Worst Character. Natch.Sawyer and Kate for Best Chemistry.It' b>
I know, it's kind of weird to see how closely these results parallel those of Kristin. Now the Jaters won't be able to accuse TWOP of enabling multiple votes, since voting is double restricted by membership. And they can't say it's biased since if this isn't the NSGA at work, then the NSGA simply doesn't exist. Of course, TWOP does have a different kind of unwritten eligibility requirement - intelligence, literacy and the ability to engage in argument without resorting to personal attack....So it's easy to see how most Jaters self-disqualify.
But anyway, get on over there and VOTE. Ladies (and Cactus), start your PROXY SERVERS! Vrooooom!
And speaking of TWOP........ I had quite an interesting observation looking through the episode threads recently. Come back for Part II of the Attack of the Killer Proxy Servers and I'll tell you all about it.

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THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!

Hear ye! Hear ye! The results of Kristin's annual Tater Tops poll are in and looks like Lost swept the competition away! No longer do we have to rely on Krystal from the Fuse to tell us what "all" the fans in the world want to see on TV - or on Lost. In a competition open equally to all the fans on the great worldwide internets, a clear and present winner has emerged.



Now, of course, we aren't silly enough to think this represents the wishes of ALL Lost fans. Or ALL tv fans. But considering the size and popularity of Kristin's site, it does give a far more accurate measure of fan wishes and hopes and dreams and preferences than anything else we've got to go on.



Before we dive in with the results here, and before any sore losers start honking around the boards that this was a cheater's poll, let's let Kristin speak for herself.

Kristin Veitch Sep 4 07, 12:31 PM
34.Korbi, thank you for saying what I wanted to say (but feared I might conjure up more wrath and/or rotten tomatoes my way)! These awards were based on the nominations and votes YOU users sent in, from top to bottom. We also used a filter that prevented people from rigging the results by voting multiple times (as we fear may have happened for SOS--which sadly, was out of our control). I know it's hard when the show you love doesn't win, but Damon and Carlton and the rest of the Losties work their ***** off on what many people believe to be the best show on television, and since LOST was shut out of the major categories at Emmys this year and all those other shows we so love will get love next Sunday, could we pretty please try to play nice and keep the bitterness to a minimum? I think they deserve that (and some of them do read this section from time to time, fyi). If you aren't happy, I feel for you, I do, but it's best to stay positive and start rallying your troops for next yr!

http://www.eonline.com/gossip/kristin/detail/index.jsp?uuid=bb72a0da-40c4-40ec-883c-36b0951a44c9#commentstart

So let's see who won!

Let's kick it off with this fun little side award:

Lover with Whom Kristin Should Have a Torrid Affair:



Not that anyone's advocating adultery here, but ... hey, Kristin's only human. And you do only go around once.

In the category of Best Baddie, queasy, sleezy Ben slithered into first place, beating out even the dark lord Sylar:



Best Tearjerker:



The death of fan beloved Charlie was signaled early on in the season but handled with great care and lots of pathos. We'll miss you Charlie, you were a true hero.

Best Shocker:



Even though it was spoiled well before the season finale aired, the use of a flash forward instead of a flash back was still one of those WTF moments that kept Lost viewers on the edge of their seats and the critics raving.

Best Line:

"If you say 'live together, die alone' to me, Jack, I'm going to punch you in your face!"



How is it possible that a line dissing Jack's signature platitude, and telling Jack to STFU gets to win this category? Because it's funny, it's to the point and it reflects the changing attitudes on the show towards our self-appointed leader.

Best Show of Skin:



Shock! Horror! How could pig porn win?! What a travesty! How dare they acknowledge that disgusting rolling around in the dirt in broad daylight in any way. And to think - 77% of fans thought this smoking scene was the best of the year! Let's see the pigs compete with that!

Best Kiss:



Like something out of Indiana Jones, or Gone with the Wind, this kiss was pure cinematic magic. Love that wicked little tongue, Kate. Too bad Jack and Kate didn't win. Oh wait, they never had a kiss this season...oops....This kiss got the win with 53% of all votes, against some really tough competition.

Best Chemistry:

Now this was a tough one. The only place in the voting where Jaters and Skaters got a chance to go mano a mano. Would it be close?



Would it be a contest?



Nah!!!!



As in years past, this one was a no-brainer and as expected, TV's hottest couple took this one walking away - with 71%!!!! of the total vote. I guess the dregs of society are larger in number than Flyer ever imagined. Maybe she should get to planning a purge to save us all from thinking that Sawyer and Kate are the IT couple of TV at the moment and the OTP of Lost.
Now let's be fair, here. It's not as if Jack and Kate came up totally empty. They did ok. I mean they weren't quite dead last. And they did get...uh, 7% of the vote. That's deserving of some kind of acknowledgment, isn't it? No one can say we aren't gracious winners, so we'd like to do Kristin one better and give our good friends the award they so richly deserve...so, in honor of the loving nickname our kind friends have given us, we hereby return the favor by awarding them our very first Golden Goose Award!



The message here is loud and clear for Darlton. And there's only one little detail left for them to take care of. That would be sending the Godforsaken Love Polygon You're So Over to the scrap heap of TV history, where this loathesome storyline belongs...Another winner by another scandalously unbalanced percentage (68%)



How many ships can you find in this quartet? Looks like the choice is between two exciting, crowd pleasing love stories ... or a 7% loser that leaves two of TV's hottest properties as single-o spare parts. Come on, Darlton! Nobody's that dumb!

For this amazing cast, the award of Best Ensemble:



And how sweet that is coming off a year when Steve McPherson's little pet stopped swallowing the show and let this magnificent cast run with the story again, the way it was in the beginning and hopefully will always be from now on.

And the award that makes us proudest, Best Drama:



Even though it had a mediocre directionless season 2, Lost managed to pull itself out of the creative doldrums in season 3 and give us some top notch television. Sawyer and Kate's rocky romance, Ben and Juliet's Machiavellian maneuvers, Desmond's burden as seer, Charlie's sacrifice, Jack's halo becoming severely tarnished, and the finale's fleeting glimpse of the future definitely raised the bar in terms of quality scripted entertainment.

So, Congratulations Skaters! But to be fair, we couldn't have done this by ourselves. Isn't it even sweeter knowing that the vast worldwide general audience is out there thinking with the same brain we are? This is what we call a decisive...an uncontested... a crushing VICTORY! And no, we're not surprised. It's only confirming what has long been painfully obvious. But it does go a long way to make up for being slimed by those 7% Bitteristas as pig porn loving morally degenerate dregs of humanity ... don't it?

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Bubbles about to burst?

Ah, my little fishies, the picture seems to come more into focus with every passing day. It all started when Kristin leveled a finger at a Lost actor, indicating that this person was on the outs with his or her castmates, and would be receiving scaled-back screentime in the new season. The Lost fandom went wild with speculation. We Skaters hoped (and many believed) that it might just be the Sainted One who was the doomed character. Hero or not, if Matthew Fox made enough of an ass of himself and pissed enough people off on set, then he could and would be gone. The original concept of the show didn't include Jack past the pilot episode, thus indicating that, contrary to Bubble Belief, he is not the end-all-be-all of this story.



But in true Bubble fashion, many of the Jaters (perhaps smelling the truth early on?) started desperately grasping at straws and pointing fingers at everyone except Fox...even going so far as to name Emilie de Ravin and our beloved Jorge Garcia as potential culprits. What the hell? Fox gives an interview stating, point-blank, that he's a liar and an ultimate manipulator and loves to fuck with people, and yet sweet Emilie and/or Jorge are the assholes? Boggles the mind.

So summer dragged along, and it inevitably quieted down for a bit, with a few other tantalizing comments here and there from Dom and Evie that might have also indicated Fox as the black sheep. But nothing concrete surfaced until last week, when Kristin gave us this gem:

Ginny in Ipswich, Massachusetts: Will there be any cast changes this season on Lost?

Aside from the newbies we announced last week (much thanks to Korbi for that scoop!), Entertainment Weekly is now reporting that Grindhouse’s Jeff Fahey will join the island crew this year. I can also tell you that, although I had heard a while back that we’d be seeing a little less of Matthew Fox this season, so far there are no signs of any “Jack-off” days on the production schedule (sorry, I couldn’t resist, I’m 12). So, we’ll see.

Ah HA! The puzzle piece we needed? Kristin had earlier indicated that the person on the outs with the rest of the cast was the same person who would receive less screentime this season. She confirms here that it is Matthew Fox. Unfortunately, it remains to be seen as to whether or not he will actually disappear for a while, but it looks like he IS the skunk who just can't not piss off his fellow castmates. Balls hanging out and all.

And now we turn to the Jaters, those lovable Bubbles who will defend their Foxy one to the death, and whom can twist any information into a pro-Jate/Foxy light faster than a child's spinning top juiced on warp-speed.

Enter the ever-reliable Heel:

How ya' doin' Jorge!!

Thanks for taking the time to answer fan questions. I really appreciate it. You help make the LOST experience even more wonderful for us OCD Lost fans.

I don't know if you heard about an article in a Brazilian Magazine out this month, in it Foxy was interviewed. He had some really nice things to say about you ... Here's a quick paraphrase of the translation of the article which was in Portugese:

"Matthew loves Hurley but he loves Jorge even more and misses working with him. He's a special person just like his character and he compares his relationship with Jorge to Jack's relationship with Hurley."

Just like Foxy, I really, really missed the Jack and Hurley relationship in S3. I think Hurley steadies Jack quite a bit. I also think Jack really admires Hurley, for being the social psychologist for the Losties and for understanding people. Something Jack has a hard time doing. I hope you and Foxy work together much much more in S4. I have my fingers crossed.

breathe speak dream live PEACE

shoegirl

To which Jorge replies:

I know we have some stuff up ahead.

Short. Sweet. Succinct. Hell, let's face it - all that seemed to be missing from Jorge's oh, so enthusiastic response was a PUKE emoticon.

Now, it could be that Jorge was simply put off by shoegirl's rather rambling bit of asskissing and promotion of the wondrous MF - especially if Fox is the one that everyone detests having on set. Or it could be that Gregg Nations whispered a little info into Jorge's ear, enlightening him of shoegirl's previous request for suggestions of other television shows to watch, after the I Do episode, where you will recall, Kate had sex with the redneck hillbilly scumbag, thus sending Lost spiraling into the 9th level of Hell, and therefore making it unworthy of shoegirl's attention. Never change, Heel. Promise us.

And we should already know that Jorge doesn't give a rat's tail about Foxy and his ego, as per the following:

Hey Jorge!

I was wondering do you have any plans for the summer? Are you shooting any movies or just just hanging out and enjoying the break from Lost?

Also, did you get that We Are..Marshall magazine that I sent you? I hope you liked it.. !

Audrey

To which Jorge replied:

I did. But I passed it along to Matthew because I thought he might appreciate it more.

Thank you.

In other words, "I don't collect Foxy memorabilia, and 'We Are...Marshall' sucked ass, but...thanks for thinking of me?"

And as further evidence of the amazing spinning ability of the Jaters, I give you a post from Live together on L-F:

Ok, according to the Fuse, Jorge says he's looking forward to some upcoming scenes with Matthew Fox they're preparing to film.

See how that works, kiddies? But of course! In the Jater world, using Jater speak, you can get from "we have some stuff up ahead" to "we have some stuff up ahead that I'm looking forward to, in fact I'm downright living for it, because Matt Fox is My God, and the best actor EVA".

Personally, I hope Kristin is on the right track, and Fox is on his way out. Because you know, our enjoyment of this show would be so much easier if TPTB would just go ahead and cut the dead-weight of Jack loose. Then the batshit would subside, and we could all just watch the damn show as it's presented! Read more...