Maevie Craze...eh, I Mean Crazy

DISCLAIMER: Enter here at your own risk, and check your sanity at the door… that is, if you dare to venture into the bowels of the FF threads to visit the "Mavie" thread there:

http://www.fanforum.com/f178/mavie-matt-evie-11-because-we-know-where-theres-fume-theres-fire-62786457/

I stumbled across this while catching up on all the latest on the shipper threads … OMG… there are no words to describe this level of insanity. It just about made me want to run screaming for the hills! Truly mind boggling. Shipping real actors who are married or in a relationship with someone else.

These people on FF honestly want Foxy and Evie together, in real life. Anyone else heard of this crap? Matt's wife is a whore, Dom is an a$$hole, and "Mavie" are Twuly Twu Wuv.
These are the CRAZIEST of the Jaters known to mankind. NO GRIP on reality, whatsoever.

I mean, to get the full effect of TEH CRAZY that exists there, you really have to read it, but be WARNED – it is sick, Sick, SICK.
Here’s a sample for those of you that do not wish to venture into the dark & crazy abyss of Mavie-world…
At the start of this thread, the Mavie-crazies have a list to let us know why they support this ‘ship’ – among the idiotic reasons:
She looks like a fangirl? 'Cause they finally kissed & it was just like they thought it would be??
Is this the best they can come up with? *rolling eyes*

The one named "Mavie", if you follow links in her sig over there, writes Matt/Evie fanfic. As in smut-fic. It's disgustingly inappropriate.
Recognized Jaters aka Mavie-crazies on the fan-list: Franci, Giuly, and foxy's lover from the Fuse.

A lot of quotes are mentioned, but surprise, surprise - no source for them. The rest is just either spin to meet the required needs or some sort of really weird Jater / Mavie logic used to understand that Evie & Matt are in TWU WUV with one another.

Some of the latest:

“either
1) something was going on because they hadn't long met and they really liked each other becuase it is so obvious in the pictures.

2) something went on afterwards because there haven't been so cushy lately, hence why there is a bit of a hiatus.”

Ah...so the real-life unresolved sexual tension between Matt Fox and Evie Lilly is the reason for this long hiatus?

As for THE one & only kiss:

“Like you, I totally saw the mavieness when they broke the kiss, they were really shocked and amazed, I think that was part of how Matt and Evie felt, not only Jack and Kate, I think tbey really felt something, I mean how can't you?, don't tell me that kissing a handsome man like Foxy doesn't do anything to you, I'm sure Evie felt something, and not only her but also Foxy.”

LOL. IMO if that was Evie being Evie and not Kate, then I think it's safe to say that she CANNOT stand Foxee!

REALITY CHECK PEOPLE: these actors ARE people. They go to work like the rest of us and want to just do their jobs. This type of worshipping is extremely creepy and totally disrespectful to the people these posters purport to be fans of. Jaters everywhere, take note of the certifiably insane of those among you! Read more...

Foxy Quotage

This is an interesting quote from MF in a french mag (courtesy of Luanne from LF):

During the third season, in the love triangle between Kate, Sawyer and Jack, your character does not make out well. Does that irritate you?

Personally, I don't give a damn! Evi is an adorable girl, but we play characters. If the series is regularly followed, one understands the attraction which Kate has for Sawyer. I don’t want Jack to win the heart of the girl just so that he can be a hero. It is necessary that it serve the story. Given the circumstances in which Jack finds himself in the third season, it would make more sense that Kate would get involved with Sawyer.

Seems he's singing a vastly different tune from the days when there was no triangle and Sawyer wasn't a reality. Loved the bit I underlined. Take that Bubbleheads for your so-called Jatervision. Maybe some of MF fans will finally get a frakking clue move on and go with the potential of Jacket which looks far more likely to develop this season.

Okay...sleep time. Laters. Read more...

Foxy Quotage

This is an interesting quote from MF in a french mag (courtesy of Luanne from LF):

During the third season, in the love triangle between Kate, Sawyer and Jack, your character does not make out well. Does that irritate you?

Personally, I don't give a damn! Evi is an adorable girl, but we play characters. If the series is regularly followed, one understands the attraction which Kate has for Sawyer. I don’t want Jack to win the heart of the girl just so that he can be a hero. It is necessary that it serve the story. Given the circumstances in which Jack finds himself in the third season, it would make more sense that Kate would get involved with Sawyer.

Seems he's singing a vastly different tune from the days when there was no triangle and Sawyer wasn't a reality. Loved the bit I underlined. Take that Bubbleheads for your so-called Jatervision. Maybe some of MF fans will finally get a frakking clue move on and go with the potential of Jacket which looks far more likely to develop this season.

Okay...sleep time. Laters. Read more...

Xmas ramblings... more eggnog, please.

So...everybody have some Christmas cheer and all that. Yeah, I did the family thing, didn't check the boards for a few days. What a bloody miracle, that was, I can tell you. I twitched alot, and eyed the keyboard with the kind of painful longing that we are apparently supposed to believe Jack and Kate share for each other (and which most Skaters write off as self esteem destroying hero worship on Kate's part, and cold controlling obessive infatuation on Jack's. *shrugs*)

Anyways, I'm back. Catching up.

Whoo boy howdy is there some interesting discussion going around right now.

Sorta like the DefCon rankings, the Kate and Sawyer caged passion love scene has gone from Bubblehead 'Pity Sex' and been upgraded to 'Terror Sex'. Yeah, I am sure that's what Damon and Carlton had in mind when they wrote that episode and made decisions on the story arc this season. Commitment means Terror Sex, dontcha know? Thanks WJ for my first guffaw of the holiday season.

Cactus socked it to the ABC crowd with a 'You say it's pity sex, and a one off, but what happens if she keeps having sex with Sawyer through the rest of the season? And willingly, and not by some hypnotic coercion, blackmail, bribe, drugged food or voodoo doll scenario? Would you accept it then? It was a good question, and really, I'd seriously like to hear some Jaters give a straight and realistic answer to this. Not more bleating on about Jate is Fate no matter what, and Kate will realise her mistake, etc.

The weird strange bubblehead who always brings in bible quotes and shit to support Jate, decided to rework the 'Yes, there is a Santa Claus' editorial to support her ship, and openly spat on Skaters in the process as being skeptical people with no heart and soul. *insert extreme rolling of eyes*

Do skaters appreciate romance? Love and sacrifice? Redemption and people growing and healing as individuals?

To quote Kate: "Hell, Yeah!" Duh!

We just also happen to also enjoy watching feisty strong-willed couples who have a mutual 'give and take' dynamic. Edgy romance, not saccharine sweetness that makes your teeth ache (take Clark and Lana on Smallville in the early years as an example of this). We like a character pairing who can have hot, yet loving sex in cages. Who have smokin' chemistry. Characters who don't sit around on beaches and pine or mope. No navel-gazing or blank star-searching for us.

It tickles me that Jaters now are trying to claim that Kack is a 'pure and innocent' love in order to justify why Kate chose Sawyer so blatantly and definitively, emotionally, physically and sexually in I do. (Yes, I am gonna keep milking the words that came from TPTB's own frakking mouths, so bite me Bubbleheads) Why? Because lately, it seems the diehard Jaters want Kate to feel shame and degradation and guilt for choosing Sawyer over Jack more than they seem to want them together. They want her in sack cloth and ashes, begging forgiveness for her big huge mistake. That's just sad. A woman's worth shouldn't be judged by the man she willingly consents to sleep with, or choses to keep company with. End of story. That's so rutting outdated an attitude that it makes me sick to my stomach that people still feel that way about our gender.

You see, I believe Kate slept with Sawyer because she wanted to. Because she loved him, and chose him. She made a commitment to give herself to him in a way that's not trivial - from what we know of her character. And really, how is that not innocent? If you take the idea of 'lacking in guilt or shame'. She didn't transgress and has nothing to feel guilty or bad about. How is it not pure, if two people have sex because of genuine overwhelming passion for each other and a deep emotional connection that can no longer be denied? Is sex morally dirty to the Bubbleheads? Or is it only because it happened with Sawyer and not Jack?

A final Q and A to mull over:

Do we think it's going to be all sweetness and light for Sawyer and Kate from now on? No!

Do we even want it to be all sweetness and light and cheesy romance for this couple? Hell, no!

Do we expect that it's an eternal commitment (including matching 'soulmates forevah!' tattoos) and going to last right until the end of the series? Probably not. But it's gonna be a hell of a ride!

Do we feel entitled/or owed having Kate and Sawyer end up being the 'be all, end all' couple by the end of the series? No!

Do we think that Jack is never going to come back and play some role as a romantic obstacle in the future? No!

Do we think that Sawyer or Kate have learned their lessons and are never going to do something incredibly stupid and painful to each other? No! I mean come on this is Sawyer and Kate we are talking about, correct?

Do we think that Kate, Sawyer and Jack have been acting completely in character, based on circumstances and their growth through previous seasons? Yes!

Do we trust TPTB to write a great story with emotional impact, character growth, intrigue and enough pain to make it epic? A huge emphatic, rabble rousing YES!!!!

And therein, perhaps, lies some of the fundamental differences between many diehard Jaters and Skaters. Read more...

We Are Unimpressed, Apparently.

Looks like Jack ain't gonna be killed off of Lost anytime soon, chicas, so don't worry your poor widdle Jackaroo or Jater hearts about that.

A sampling of amusing reviews of WAM. There are some decent ones out there and Rotten Tomatoes is firmly on the fence. What amused me though is that the 'cream of the crop' reviews like New York Post, Chicago Tribune, Newsday, USA Today, Variety etc. don't really make any significant mentions of MF's so-called Oscar worthy performance. Willy Waffle just thought he was the shiznat though.

http://www.columbusmovieguy.com/reviews/movie-review-we-are-marshall/

"Matthew Fox is also a disappointment with a distant and timid dramatic performance, culminated by his almost laughably bad crying scenes. His strength is in being a strong character, and it shows in his poor performance as a man whose will is almost depleted."

http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/9365957/review/12812344/we_are_marshall?source=movie_reviews_rssfeed

"Matthew Fox, as assistant coach Red Dawson, tries the old play that less is more. No go."

http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=reviews&id=8336

"Matthew Fox is Red Dawson, and the actor seems to have been born to play a guy who is always on the verge of tears, as Fox seems to always be on the verge of tears (this is also true, distressingly, in real life). He’s second billed, but this is really his film, and general teary-eyed quivering aside, Fox does an admirable job."

Oscar noms? I don't think so. Unless the criteria is cry very well. Read more...

Nice theory, but no cigar.

Apparently the latest promo-spoiler has our fearsome duo going all Bonnie and Clyde/Han and Leia in the jungle. Looks like kick-ass Kate is back and all those arguments about Sawyer being a wimp in love were just plain, let's see, how to put this--WRONG!!!

Our little Kate the Killer takes her walkie talkie and runs WITH SAWYER. The walkie talkie gets shot or explodes or something, so it doesn't look like she and Jack are going to have that nice little chat about counting to 5 anytime soon and, guess what, it doesn't look like it's going to be "I can't leave without you because I WUV U, Jack!" Sort of sends that theory into the Dharma shark tanks, doesn't it? Read more...

Something for the Jaters

Question: Christmas is almost here, and Lost scoop is on my list this year. Can you help me, Santa Clausiello? — Georgia
Ausiello: Don't be too sure about Kate's decision to choose Sawyer over Jack. A girl can change her mind.

I guess someone finally heard the cries of 'throw me a frickin' bone here.'

And I can just see the Bubbleheads flocking to feast on this little spoiler hint morsel like flies on a bloated dead horse carcass. Good old Ausiello, he's like the Anti-Kristen. Always thought he was a closet Jater. And yeah, his track record's been pretty shaky at times and worse than Kristen often. Like when he said Kate would find out about Ana, and that Sawyer would be dead to her. Didn't he also say Jate would be working to get past first base at the end of last season?

Giving the spoiler credence for a moment, though:

Kate makes a definitive, physical and emotional choice. And then...she screws Sawyer over? Not buying it.

TPTB said they are going to explore the Sawyer/Kate relationship further, and her 'commitment'. Jack looks like he's spending time getting to know Juliet and the Others. How are they going to have Kate change her mind? And so soon? Please do not have Kate pining on the beach for Jack. That would be so rutting lame and sad for her character. I don't see her doing a 180 so quickly considering the Island timeline, and I've been jonesing for the girl to get her groove back and be kick ass again, frakk it. Not a mopey puppy waiting for her Prince Jack to come home.

If they do go Jate, it will certainly be a big surprise to that "general viewing audience" who saw Skate as a highlight of the year so far. LOL.

Stranger things have happened, I guess. And I'll suck it up if it ever does. It'll take a shit load of fancy footwork from the writers to make it remotely believable, though, after this stellar mini arc season.

Edited to add:

Found out what the entire original question was from Duffy on the Fuselage. It all makes sense now. Just Ausiello giving out some speculative hope to a desperate Jate fan, not a proper general spoiler:

Christmas is almost here, and Lost scoop is on my list this year. Santa Clausiello, please tell me that all is not lost for my favorite TV couple, Jack & Kate. Your cookies and milk are on their way, complete with a flask of brandy should you feel the need to have your own little private part-ay. Read more...

Dead Zombie Horse Repeatedly Beaten

Brainsssss, Brainssss...Yep it looks like the Zombie Jate season is upon us with gems like this:

"I think this is the key thing that Jaters are trying to communicate: the skex had nothing to do with a choice between Sawyer and Jack, and so in no way was she "choosing" Sawyer over Jack."

Um yes. She is. Yes. She did. The show told you. The media told you. Hell, the damn authors and TPTB told you.

But no...instead you'd rather eat brains. Well, that's okay.

I guess if you repeat it often enough and loudly enough it will come true? Kinda like clacking your heels together and yelling 'There's no place like home.' But if you don't got the ruby slippers, sorry Dorothy, you are shit outta luck there. Read more...

Out with the Old, In with the New!

Since the Fuselage Jater-Couch (not to be confused with the Teeny Couch at Lost Forum) is about to start a new thread, let's have our own little poll as to a suitable name for it. Any suggestions?

I kinda like the irony of 'Unbreakable', since ya know, the Bubbleheads love the glass wall scene. Or at least the first half. They tend to try to ignore the last half as not existing at all. Like, ya know, when Jack was screaming at Kate and making her cry and telling her to basically fuck off.

If the glass is unbreakable well, Jate ain't ever gonna connect on this side of Hades. Kinda fitting don't you think?

'Screw you Kate! No wait...Sawyer already did!'

'What Jack Saw'

'Dead and Deader'

'Glug, glug, glug'

'Throw me a frickin' LifeJACKET...'

Yeah, pretty lame, I am sure you all can come up with better ones. Let's have a vote! Read more...

Is there a lower place to sink to?

For those of you who like to claim that the Bubblehead Brigade are so frakking classy, intelligent and articulate, I give you this morsel of classiness from the Fuse:

"Anyway,am I the only one who thinks that insted of that Bai chick, they should have casted josh's wife for that part with Foxy? mauhahah. I think it would have been fair..(if you catch my hint,lol) and fun.."

Talk about downright disturbing. And it illustrates my contention that some of the more extreme Bubbleheads can't seem to figure out the difference between fiction and real life.

Sawyer (Josh) stole Kate from Jack (MF), so naturally, it's only fair that Josh's (Sawyer's) wife should get it on with MF (Jack). WTF?

First off Yessica's not an actress. Second it's not like MF is tupping Evie in real life, Dom is. But really the notion of real life tit for tat is just so damned batshit crazy and twisted that it boggles my mind that people even come up with bullshit like that.

*********************************************************************

Oh, and BTW, this just in - an newspaper article about non-couples and whether they should get it on or not. Guess which couple is mentioned and which non-couple ain't. *snicker*

http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/elfman/173872,CST-FTR-elf15.article Read more...

Laughter is the best medicine; take the red pill, Jaters!

How many Skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they'd rather screw in bear cages instead. Read more...

Cuse Quotage

Luanne Posted this on LF:

Here is another quote from Carlton where he talks about Kate and commitment. Its from Dreamwatcher magazine #26.

Is there any one of the characters who you'd like to crack open a little more and delve even further into what makes them tick?

I think that Kate is going to really be an interesting character this year because she is going to finally make a romantic choice and a commitment. This is a character who has been very afraid of commitment. I'm very excited to see the journey of that character this season. I think that Evangeline [Lilly] is really just blossoming as an actor. I'm very excited about what we have planned for her.

So Kate is exploring commitment this year....with Sawyer. Hah, I can't wait for the interviews to come out just before the hiatus is over. Be prepared for major Bubble-head-spinning and damage control by the Queen B's. Read more...

Moonlighting Musings

more I think about Queen B and her little buzzing hives of drones, the more amused and cynical I get by the minute. I think it must be because she is so frakking wordy. Somehow being wordy is equated with being smart...because, you know, having access to a Thesaurus is a big deal.

I'm still shaking my head over the idea that any producers would write something that would make a couple that people think is freakin' hot fail. Clearly none of the Bubbleheads ever actually SAW Moonlighting.

Apparently in Jaterville, the writing room conversation went like this:

Carlton: We need to break up Kate and Sawyer because they are just too hot.

Damon: I've got an idea. Let's have them get it on and then it will ruin their relationship just like it did for David and Maddie!

Carlton: Oh, excellent idea. We'll spend 6 episodes and tons of money and production time to set up a romantic scene that is going to get lots of press and make the 10 ten most memorable moments of tv for the year just so that the relationship can go to hell in episode 7.

Damon: That's frickin' brilliant! Then I can talk about how people will compare it to Moonlighting and everyone will understand that we really are planning on having Kate and Jack get together and this is just our way of destroying any hope of Skate.

High fives all around and the writers scurry off to their computers.

Yeah, riiight. Read more...

Things that make you go hmmm...

Is it just me, or does anyone else finding it pretty coinky-dink that whenever the Jaters get low or down about news or spoilers that don't go their way there's suddenly an influx of newly registered posters coming out of the proverbial woodwork and claiming the Jate ship as their own? Especially since 90% of them disappear back into the woodwork again afterwards (like good little wood-lice) and are never seen or heard from again.

If that's not fishy, my name's not Fishbiscuit.

I can't decide if it's just more attempts by good ole Prickles to do some more shit-stirring, or an attempt by one of the Bubblehead Lieutenants to bolster everyone's flagging spirits.

Either way, it's pretty darn lame. Read more...

Debunking the Jate Myths; Congrats Evie; Gregg-Speak

Bringing the truth to y'all.

#1 Jate Myth: The 'General audience' are Jaters. They don't want to see Skate.

http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/12-14-2006/0004491249&EDATE=


ALVISO, Calif., Dec. 14 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ --
"As the year draws to a close, American TV viewers reveal their top picks for the most memorable TV moments of 2006 in a poll conducted by TiVo Inc. (Nasdaq: TIVO), the company that created the digital video recorder (DVR) and continues to
revolutionize the way Americans watch television. These are the moments
that got America talking, from the shocking to the hilarious, and stopped
viewers in their tracks, becoming the subject of water-cooler
conversations, website and blog chatter, and, in some cases, pop culture
phenomena in their own right. The TiVo(R) service makes finding and
capturing the most sought-after moments on television simple and easy,
leading millions of viewers to agree that it is the best way to watch
television. TiVo commissioned a survey through top poll company Synovate to find out what moments Americans remember as the TV highlights of 2006.

Top TV Moments of 2006 Survey Results
Rank
1 Katie Couric's last day on "Today"
2 Mel Gibson's interview with Diane Sawyer after his DWI arrest
3 Oprah tells author James Frey he betrayed readers
4 Sara and Grissom get together on "CSI"
5 Faith Hill's reaction to Carrie Underwood's win at "CMA Awards"
6 Kirstie Alley's bikini reveal on "Oprah"
7 "Will & Grace" series finale in which their kids start dating
8 Kate and Sawyer get together on "Lost"
9 Rosie O'Donnell's debut on "The View"
10 Connie Chung attempting a sultry serenade of Maury Povich"


If the favourable Skate episode ratings, TV Guide Best moments of 2006, and Skate as #2 TV couple of the year didn't convince ya, take the above and stick it in your Jate-pipe and smoke it.

But hey, you can take that random poll where 72 out of 100 random people (who probably don't watch the show)outside of Radio City Music Hall chose the Doc over the Conman, as representing millions of viewers if it makes y'all feel better.

#2 Jate Myth: Jaters will get Jate this season because Damon promised, he said that Jaters wouldn't be disappointed.

This myth arose out of this totally FAKED translated interview:

"The newspaper made a poll with the readers, "Kate Should Stay With...?" 69% said Jack. So Lindelof smiled and said "It's funny how people can get interested about the romances happening in the island. Even if it is not the focus of the show, but we know people don't forget about it. We all know that a good show needs a good romance. Kate and Sawyer have a complicated past, troubles in common, and that makes they drawn to each other, to their dark side. In the other hand, Jack and Kate are a classical and romantic couple. They are amazed by each other, and as the time runs, they start to depend of each other, care about each other, the connection between them is getting stronger this season. There is always something, someone in their way. That makes the audience support them all the time" and there's more, "Now, we don't have time for a romance. But, what can I say? Well, the audience won't be disapointed next season. That's a promise!"

Supposedly from the 'San Francisco Post'. If you investigate you find there is no such newspaper, just a news portal and a dead link to SF travel and accommodation. The quote originated from the Orkut brazilian boards, and the originator of the hoaxed interview fessed up later. After all, she couldn't produce the scans.

Anyone using any of the above quote as PROOF of anything Jate is sadly out of the information loop or willingly passing around falsehoods.


3# Jate Myth: That JJ Abrams is a Jater and said the following:

"You could put Jack & Kate on a NYC Street and have them pass each other at rush hour on a Wednesday morning - and they would stop and turn slowly to watch each other go by. They know each other within the context of universal recognition. They have met before in this life and they WILL meet again."

Umm. No. Search the net. There is no such quote. The only person this is attributed to is the infamous Oracle. That so-called inside source who pandered to the Jaters for a while on various boards until they were laughed off the public scene and resorted to private messaging the Queen B herself to spread the Jate is Fate message (notably stopping altogether after the Skate heavy What Kate Did episode aired).

Anyone who's had any experience in the TV industry would tell ya that TV writers and production staff do not spend their time writing thesis long treatises and essays (to only one section of fandom) about the splendours and paramount importance of the romance of a couple of fictional characters on a show they are working on. That's completely and utterly absurd.

**********************************************************************************

BTW, Evangeline got a Golden Globe nomination for Best Lead Actress Performance in a TV Drama. Big props goes out to her for her stellar work this season. I wouldn't be surprised if she got nommed because of EMFH or I Do. In any case, it's frakking awesome that 'Kate' is up for a drama award. There are apparently rumors of both her and Josh being considered to present an award together. More proof that they are indeed hot property right now in the media's jaundiced eye.

No Foxy nom this time. But at least Lost was up for best Drama again.

Notably, some people from a certain faction of shipperdom were as slow as molasses in offering their congratulations to Evie for her nomination. Sour grapes anyone? I read more protests at Foxy being snubbed than enthusiasm for Evie being recognised for her recent performances. And yet we Skaters are getting ragged on for being meanspirited?

At least we don't slag off one half of our ship as a whore, slut, idiot, weak, brainless gal who made a dreadful shameful mistake she needs to gain forgiveness from Jack for. Hmmmm....


**********************************************************************************
Gregg Nations put it nicely in one of his latest replies about Kate's kiss answer to Sawyer from those pesky shippers who need everything spelled out for them:

"That's a very good question and observation. What did it mean? What is going on in Kate's mind? I'm sure this scene has given everyone something to think about. I'm sure there are strong arguments on both sides, well reasoned out and logical. It seems to be another question of faith and where you stand in trusting Kate. What did you think it meant?"

Which I put in the babelfish translator and came up with:

That's a very good question and observation.
I'M BEING POLITE HERE.

What did it mean?
WERE YOU WATCHING THE SHOW?

What is going on in Kate's mind?
DID YOU SEE HER EXPRESSIONS?

I'm sure this scene has given everyone something to think about.
GOOD LORD, HOW MUCH MORE TALK ABOUT THIS CAN THERE BE?

I'm sure there are strong arguments on both sides, well reasoned out and logical.
OF COURSE SOME ARE MORE LOGICAL THAN OTHERS.

It seems to be another question of faith and where you stand in trusting Kate.
IF YOU TRUST KATE, THEN SHE LOVES SAWYER. IF YOU DON'T TRUST KATE, WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT HER WITH JACK?

What did you think it meant?
AS IF I DIDN'T KNOW. Read more...

So much mockage to be done! Where do I start?

BUBBLEHEAD ILLOGIC AT ITS FINEST

1) Sawyer can NEVER change. He is still the selfish scumbag he was in S1.
2) Sawyer in love with Kate is way too sappy and stupid. Bring back S1 Sawyer.

Wait a minute. But didn't you say Sawyer can't ever change, so he can't be sappy and stupid over Kate; and he can't return to S1 Sawyer because he has never changed, but he needs to go back to something he can't change from, and still is.

Mmkay...

The whining and the choruses of 'Bring back Season One' continue. Why? Because they want the old days when we were just getting to know the characters, and seeing the stereotypes which the writers were planning to deconstruct. They don't want character growth, they don't want the plot moving forward in exciting and unconventional ways. No, they want stagnation, formulaic TV instead of the innovative, convention-breaking show Lost is trying to be.


NEWSFLASH: KATE IS A KILLER NOT A ROLE MODEL

When Bubbleheads start with their 'logic' that Sawyer represents the bad boy that always ends up abusing their women, I always want to point out that Kate is hardly an innocent naive little girl. She is in fact a KILLER (number one ignored fact by Jaters).

But try to argue that Kate is anything other than just a poor little girl with "issues" (like a little murder, bankrobbery, explosive arson,etc.) in her past, and the Jaters get all defensive that somehow we're implying Kate doesn't deserve redemption because she's a woman? WTF?

Kate is walking the long hard road of redemption right alongside Sawyer. That's the point.

Carried to its extreme, we get ridiculous statements about what a bad example Kate is setting for young girls by choosing the bad boy over the good one. Again, WTF???

It's a frakking TV show, not Sunday school.

And it's mindboggling, the extent to which Bubbleheads erase Kate's crimes completely from her slate. They have, in my opinion, not the least grasp on Kate. She's merely the Barbie to match the Ken doll they drool over.

You'd think if they were so frakking concerned about young impressionable girls, they'd focus first on the fact that if you blow up your father and rob a bank and shoot random people and get your best friend killed and marry a cop under an alias....you know, you might have a sort of difficult life after that. The badness of her boy is the least of this bad girl's worries.

By the way, how is getting involved with a stick-up-his-ass, control freak, daddy-issued, stalking, ego-centric doctor with a Messiah complex a better choice for such a wild, unfettered and independent woman as Kate is???


A FEW DAYS WITH SAWYER IN A CAGE ERASES OVER TWO MONTHS OF JATE DESTINY?

I've been reading some indignant posts about how Jack never had a chance to win Kate's love, there was no real choice because Kate was shoved in a cage next to Sawyer, and Jack was taken completely out of the picture. Huh? How long have they been in captivity? A week at most.

Doesn't that expose the Jate internal logic as being fundamentally flawed? What happened to the Jate is Fate mantra? Don't they have this unbreakable cosmic connection at the cellular level (you can bet that the sex will be by osmosis if and when they finally get it on)? What happened to the claims that Kate and Jack are completely in love with each other, and have been growing closer as a romantic couple since the Pilot? I thought Sawyer was just an obstacle that got thrown in the way of the beauty of Jate...(An obstacle which Kate jumped onto and humped vigorously and with much enjoyment judging by the contentment and smiles both were exhibiting afterwards, mind you)

You are trying to tell me that being put into a life endangering situation with Sawyer for a few days is enough to make Kate just forget Jack and shove down her jeans, lift up her floral shirt and do the nasty with Sawyer? If she was so in love with Jack, or cared about him (in a non-familial way as Jaters shrilly insist) half as much as is claimed, then there is NO WAY that she would just bump uglies with a guy that some people claim she is just friends with, and doesn't have any sexual or emotional connection to, after a few measly days away from her one true love. * snicker *

And yet Jaters are claiming Kate just flipped some off switch with regards to Jack, for those few days, and she'll flip it on again once she realizes the big awful shameful mistake she made and begs Jack for forgiveness and to take her back. (Feminists around the globe should give a collective groan here)

Give me a frakking break. That makes absolutely no gorram sense at all.

What DOES make sense is that Kate and Sawyer have been steadily falling in love over the past three seasons. Sawyer came to the realization earlier than Kate did. But Kate's been trying to follow her HEAD not her HEART and has been fighting her growing feelings for Sawyer and doing what she could to fall in love with Saint Jack of Ass. However, love's not a logical beast and Kate finally stopped running from her love for Sawyer. She finally accepted her choice, and committed to Sawyer both physically and emotionally.

Commitment changes everything.

All bets are off, kiddos. Read more...

An Ode to Cactus

Dude, seriously, you are da man. I always have a good laugh reading your posts over all the other boards. You flip flop more than Kate and Senator Kerry when it comes to spouting your latest spoiler shipper theories, but at least you take into account what's going on in the real world.

And I get a kick out of seeing who you will pop up as next, since you keep getting banned and having to make more fake personas. Kinda like a 'whackamole'. It's rutting hillarious. And thanks for the shout out, I was quite touched by your attentions.

So keep up the stirring, brotha. You make life on the boards interesting. Read more...

That's poetical!

I got sent this via PM. Very very cool:

The Howling

I wonder what has people thinking
Plug the holes! Our ship is sinking
Down into this icky water
I can’t swim! I’m not an otter!

All this cold and awful mocking
Like coal in my Christmas stocking
Oh, those dreadful, evil Powers
They got theirs, but where is ours?

We’re the most important fans
We feel entitled to our plans
They’ve promised us since season one
That Jate would never be undone

Damon and that Carlton too
Took sacred vows of what to do
They would never write for SKate
It’s in the scripts that Jate is fate!

And now we’re left betrayed and broken
Those vile producer men have spoken
Make no mistake, we are not sunk
We’ll tell the network of your junk

You’ll see our anger and our wrath
Our ranks outweigh your ratings math
We’re more than you have bargained for
We are Jaters! Hear us ROAR! Read more...

The Big Kahunas have spoken: "I Do" podcast

Reserving commentary for later, because Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse just...well, they say it all. I highly recommend you listen to the podcast yourself just to hear their sarcastic mocking tones.

Reminder for the mentally challenged: Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse are the authors of 'I Do' episode and showrunners of LOST, on ABC. Transcription from LF, by Zoriah.

***********************************************************************

I Do, or at this point 'I did, and I liked it'

CC: But let's talk about Kate hooking up with Sawyer, just for a segue.

Damon: Sure, I'd love to.

CC: I mean, I know you want to talk about Taye Diggs, but, what do you think? Was this actually the definitive choice?

DL: I- You know, people keep asking me that and it's...I don't-

CC: Was this the definitive choice?

DL: How- How much clearer-

CC: Was this choice...definitive?

DL: How much clearer could you be about her choice? I mean, who's watching it and going, 'I'm not sure that she picked Sawyer, I think maybe she went with Jack there.' She's had sex with him.

CC: And yet- And yet people actually do, you know, I think certain people maybe just don't value the act of sex as being that important.

DL: *stunned laughter* I don't- I don't even know how I could possibly respond to that in any PG-13 sort of fashion.

*more chuckles from CC*

DL: But...I will say that when you are curled up naked on someone's chest, as I have been on Carlton's on several- on several occasions...

CC: I knew that was coming.

DL: You...You've made your choice.

CC: Well. And I'm- I thank you for that. I appreciate it. I appreciate your commitment to me.

DL: But I think it will be interesting to see sorta where Sate and- Kate and Sawyer go next -

CC: Satan?

DL: Sate and Kawyer?

CC: Wow!

DL: Wow.

CC: Satan. When is Satan coming into the show?

DL: They call them Skate. Kate and Sawyer. And then-

CC: Right.

DL: And then the other ones are... um Skack? No. What is Sack? Sawyer and Jack?

Chris: The Jaters and the Skaters.

DL: The Jaters and the Skaters.

CC: Thank you Chris. Read more...

"I Do" Podcast: Let it go, Jack. Let it go.

Note to self: Never fanwank my couple and get so delusional about it that Damon and Carlton have to smack me down.

Ow, the burn.

"I mean, who's watching it and going, 'I'm not sure that she picked Sawyer, I think maybe she went with Jack there.' When you're curled up naked on someone's chest, you've made your choice."

Skack? Jate who? Sawyer and Kate reserved the Honeymoon Cage. Yeah blowing up your dad might not be illegal, just like having sex with someone isn't necessarily a commitment. Zombie Kate's choice.

So much mockage. Really, boys, you outdid yourselves this time. The snark was flowing fast and loose. Methinks they are tired of the whacked out theories that make no sense to what's actually being shown onscreen.

This should serve as a cautionary tale for all those wannabe extreme shippers out there not to take a show too seriously and treat your ship like a religion. Do not assume that you OWN the show you are obsessing over. It's beyond pathetic to keep reading Bubbleheads bleating on about betrayal, and slaps in the face, and the writers not having a clue about their own show or making their characters do 180's yadda yadda. How dare they make story choices which don't fit my skewed fantasy of what is happening on the screen?

Testimonials about how a ship has affected a person in real life is scary and freaks me out. How about you?

Jate writing campaigns to the ABC president, and to the VIP's ranting and railing against Skate being presented as the big canon couple is going to somehow matter more than the great ratings and media buzz and water-cooler reaction it's still getting? I don't think so.

“And they don't come here and see that the Jaters are their most loyal and committed fans? “ Talk about arrogant in the extreme. Substitute 'most cult-like and need to be committed' fans and I might agree.

“It almost feels like Jate is not as important to TPTB as they are to us “ Ya think, maybe???

“Also keep in mind the very nature of podcasts is not to give answers but to entice, inveigle, & bend the truth. “ Um, no, actually it's to clarify, disseminate what they intended for PAST episodes if there is any doubt, and then give out vague and intriguing spoiler hints as to what's coming up in FUTURE episodes to keep people watching. Don't confuse the two, mmkay? Oh, and they also taunt over-obsessive Lost fans who have clearly lost the plot. Or should I say who have obviously taken a wrong turn off of the Lost Interstate Highway a few state-lines back. Honk if you think Jate is still Fate! *Snerk*

“The 'I'm-so-cool-b/c-my-name's-Damon-so-I-can-do-whatever-the-hell-I-want -and-therefore-ruin-the-show' logic.” How about the'I'm-the-frakkin'-producer-of-this-show-Damon-so-I-can-do-whatever-the-hell-I-want-as-long-as
-ratings-remain-high-and-ABC-is-still-behind-the-show' logic.

And please, anyone who thinks that the fallout from a few irate fans over this is gonna lose them millions of viewers needs to get their head thoroughly examined. The boycotts or lobbying of a few dozen crazy fanatical online Bubbleheads are not going to make a dent in the ratings. It's absurd to even contemplate.

After two and a half years of being smug, self-righteous, arrogant, loudly dismissive of Skate and Skater fans, the Bubbleheads are finally going to have eat some crow. Tastes nummy don't it?

The phrase “It'll come back around.” ring any bells?

The fact is, Sawyer and Kate have chosen each other, they are currently the powerhouse couple who fell in love on the show. Yeah, it might not last forever. But guess what, this is TV-Land. That's par for the course, amigos. But do yourselves a favour and at least accept the truth. The Jate ship is currently dead in the water and taking on water at an alarming rate.

Even TPTB think the rabid Bubbleheads are Lost In Translation for denying what's been in plain sight for so long.

Hubris, baby. It goeth before a fall, and you can't tell me they didn't have this one coming. I make no apology for laughing at the SPLAT! Read more...

A pile of shipper-poo to you too.

"Crazy people don't know they're crazy. They think they're getting saner." - LOCKE, from White Rabbit, Season One.

Just when you thought you'd seen every shade of batshit crazy. Just when you'd thought the jose-wank couldn't get any wankier. Just when you thought it was safe to venture out into Lost-dom and talk intelligently and rationally about this latest mini arc...we get Queen Bubblehead herself inventing script-URES for her jater brethren.

The shrieking one aka Banshee has now come out on the ABC boards with (get this) claims that she has a sooper sekrit inside source who has seen the script to I Do.

Yep. You heard me.

And even though she can't go into detail (yeah right), it confirms that both Jack and Sawyer love Kate (which, DUH, as anyone who's watched the show for the past 3 seasons already knows), but doesn't make it clear who Kate loves.

Which is where the bullshit (aka Jater desperation) comes into play, because DUH, that question was answered, as anyone who was paying attention during the I Do episode, and has higher than a 2-year-old's comprehension skills, can clearly gather for themselves. Unless they only speak batshit bubbleheaded Jaterese, that is. In which case, they should continue to gnaw their own limbs off and desperately try to deny the fact that Kate chose, and slept with, and was willing to DIE for, Sawyer, because (in her own rutting words!!) she LOVES HIM. Because, dammit, Jate is FATE! (rinse, repeat for infinity kiddies, and maybe - just maybe - it'll become true!)

Is it me or does this smell of yet another eleventh hour attempt at damage control? Queen B making a desperate bid to plug the leak of a sinking ship that has hit one hell of a mother of an iceberg. A rather conveniently vague and yet affirming message to the floundering flock.

This is almost as sad and pathetic as when that fabled Oracle hoaxer was around spilling vague faux-lers and Jate is Fate psycho-babble which the Bubbleheads gleefully lapped up like good little cult acolytes.

Well, Queen B...I noticed that you deleted some of your posts. Geez, I wonder why. Maybe because they stank of bat guano?

Oh, and you know that a ship is in deep doodoo when they start spouting the following sentiments:
"Character assassination!" "Lack of continuity!" "Deceived and betrayed us!" "Broke their own promises!"
And the clincher - "The writers and PTB were wrong, Wrong, WRONG, and don't know how to write their own show!!!" Read more...